


Love Me Sweet

by sunshineoptimismandangels



Category: Glee
Genre: First Time, Fluff and Smut, Future Fic, GKM Fill, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 51,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineoptimismandangels/pseuds/sunshineoptimismandangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GKM fill: Kurt is a 26 year old virgin living in New York City and wanting to get rid of the virgin title, but not knowing how. He'd always thought he was waiting for love before he had sex for the first time, now he is tired of waiting. He decides the best thing to do is just hire a male escort for one night. Someone experienced that Kurt doesn't have to explain himself to or ever see again. He just wasn't counting on his escort, Blaine, being quit so perfect or so hard to give up.<br/>Heaps of blessings upon my wonderful beta lilyvandersteen!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Idea

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I can't write pure PWP like a normal person, but my smut always becomes plotty and thus this story was born. I should be working on my other story that I've been writing for months now, but this fill wouldn't be ignored. With that being said, I do hope to update this regularly.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> PS  
> This was recently proofread by the amazing and super sweet lilyvandersteen - so now you can read it with ease.

[For this GKM prompt](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/51636.html?thread=65316276#t65316276)

Kurt started feeling antsy as soon as the conversation shifted to the subject of Elliot's first time. It was like the whole atmosphere shifted, but no-one could feel it but him. It'd been a great evening, hanging out with Mercedes, Rachel, Jesse, Elliot and Elliot's boyfriend Bryce. And Kurt didn't even mind when the conversation turned to sex.

He laughed along with everyone else when Jesse told the story of how he and his girlfriend at the time had thought they were trapped in an elevator and decided it could be sexy to do it right then and there, but then the elevators doors pinged open and an elderly couple was standing on the other side gaping at them.

It was a funny story, and after all, Kurt wasn't a prude. He didn't have anything against sex, or anything against consenting adults having as much of it as they wanted. That wasn't the problem. The problem was now they were all talking about their first times, and it would eventually roll around to Kurt's turn and he had absolutely nothing to say on the topic.

Kurt, twenty-six years old and still a virgin.

When Kurt had moved to New York at the tender age of nineteen, some of his friends had already experienced their first time and some of them hadn't, and it wasn't really a big deal. And considering Kurt had been the only out gay guy in his high-school, it really hadn't been a surprise that he was still a baby penguin – That's what he'd call himself when Rachel talked about sex. She'd had her first time with Kurt's step-brother and Rachel's first love, Finn Hudson.

Once she got to New York and started dating around, she had even more sexual exploits to talk about. Not a ton, but enough to make Kurt sigh dramatically and wonder when the touch of the fingertips would stop being the sexiest thing he'd ever experienced.

Then there came Trevor. Kurt's first, grown-up, New York boyfriend. They were both nineteen and from small towns and going to NYADA together, and Kurt had fallen for him fast. The first crush he'd ever had reciprocated. He'd been going out with Trevor for a few months and thought he'd be  _the one_ , the one Kurt would finally lose his virginity to, but it didn't work out that way.

NYADA turned out to be too much for Trevor, and as much as he cared about Kurt and New York, he explained that he just couldn't stay. Trevor went back home to Wisconsin, and he had a picture with his new boyfriend up on his Facebook page merely weeks later.

Kurt was hurt, but not deterred. New York was everything he'd wished it to be, even if it was tougher and grittier than imagined, and he felt freer to be himself than he ever had. He met Elliot and had a small crush on him until Elliot's long-time boyfriend Bryce moved to New York and they were so obviously perfect for each other that Kurt's crush quickly turned into friendship.

Elliot and Bryce were maddeningly in love, and when Kurt watched them together, his heart would beat a little faster and a little more painfully. Because he'd never had that with Trevor, he'd never had that with anyone, and that was what he wanted. Love. He wanted it so much it hurt and even kept him up at night sometimes, teary-eyed and wishful.

He decided then and there that he was waiting. Not for marriage, but for true love. It was perfectly fine for people to have sex without love, but that wasn't for him. He would happily wait.

However, now here Kurt was, graduated from NYADA, working at a fashion magazine and auditioning for roles, a full-fledged New Yorker who'd never been in love and never had sex and was beginning to think he never would...

The only other person at the table who was also a virgin was Mercedes, and she wasn't abashed about it at all. Rachel finished a short, and only slightly teary-eyed tale of her first time with Finn, Jesse leaned in, giving her a kiss to the cheek, and then everyone turned to Mercedes, who was up next. Mercedes smiled broadly at the group, flipping her curly hair behind her shoulder confidently.

"You all know I've never done  _the dirty_." She winked and held up her left hand, a sparkling diamond engagement ring catching the light and everyone's attention. "Next summer though, after Tank and I tie the knot, I promise you we are going to have a  _really_  good time."

Everyone around the table hooted and hollered, Mercedes laughed, and then it was Kurt's turn. His stomach dropped and he didn't feel he was being over-dramatic when he thought he felt a cool sweat break out on his forehead.

The difference between him and Mercedes was that Mercedes knew what she wanted and was  _getting_  what she wanted and everyone respected that. Kurt, on the other hand, was tired of waiting. He wanted that kind of intimacy with someone, but couldn't find it, and it left him feeling embarrassed… and alone. So Kurt didn't talk about his lack of experience, and when his friends all just assumed he'd had sex before, he didn't correct them.

He didn't consider it a lie as much as self-protection. He didn't want their advice, or judgment (though, rationally, he knew no-one in this group would judge him), and he really really didn't want their pity. He couldn't stand it if his friends saw him as poor little single Kurt who'd never been in love.

"What about you, Kurt?" Jesse asked, leaning forward. "What was the name of that guy you dated when you first moved here? Travis?"

"Trevor," Kurt corrected him, looking around the table to see all eyes on him.

"So was he your first?"

"I, um…" Kurt cleared his throat and could feel his cheeks burning. "No… Trevor… We uh…" He furrowed his brow and reached for his glass of water to take a sip and give himself another moment to figure out what to say. He felt Mercedes' hand squeeze his knee under the table.

"Kurt isn't the kiss and tell kind of guy," Mercedes spoke up as Kurt swallowed his water and put the glass back down.

"Was your first time that bad?" Bryce joked good-naturedly.

Kurt took a deep breath and put on his best confidently coy smile - he  _was_  an actor after all. "Wouldn't you like to know?" Kurt winked, which earned him a laugh around the table, and then the focus mercifully shifted to Elliot, whose first time story Kurt already knew because it had been that hilariously awful and took place at summer camp of all cliché places. Kurt turned to Mercedes, who was smiling kindly at him, and mouthed  _thank you_.

Later that evening, Kurt arrived at his apartment with Mercedes, feeling just a little bit tipsy and very melancholy. He plopped down on his couch and Mercedes did the same next to him. She was staying with him for a week while in town. She lived in California when she wasn't on tour, but always made sure to take good long visits to New York and visit her friends. "Especially you, Kurt," she had told him once. "You are my favorite, but for heaven's sake don't tell Rachel!"

"That was a fun night," Mercedes sighed dreamily, the alcohol in her system making her mellow. "I like your friends."

"Mmm," Kurt hummed non-committedly. "They are your friends too."

"Yes, yes." She leaned her head on Kurt's shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. "I'm just glad you are surrounded by good people who love you. I would hate for you to be lonely."

Kurt drew in a breath as his eyes started to sting. He let silence overtake them for a moment before he spoke again. "I am lonely."

Mercedes lifted her head to look at him. "Kurt?"

Kurt brushed a tear away from his eye and chuckled humorlessly. "I know how lucky I am. My friends are like my family. And I have my Dad and Carole back home. I have so much more love in my life than some people ever get, but I'm…. god, Cedes, I still feel so lonely sometimes."

"Oh, honey," Mercedes cooed, and she kissed him on the cheek.

"And I've never had sex," Kurt blurted out. "Not even kind of. I've never gone further than making out with someone."

Kurt turned away from Mercedes, not wanting to see the look of surprise on her face, but apparently he didn't need to.

"I didn't think you had," Mercedes said, and Kurt glanced back at her.

"I mean, you told me all about your first make-out session with Trevor, in great detail," Mercedes said with a smirk. "And when you briefly dated that Derek guy last year, you freely told me about fooling around with him too. I guess I figured if you ever did have sex? I would know. You'd tell me… probably in more detail than I needed to know."

Kurt covered his face and groaned. "Oh god, I'm embarrassing."

"No. You're wonderful and my best friend." Mercedes corrected. "You know it’s okay that you haven't had sex, right?"

"I want to, though!" Kurt threw his hands out in frustration. "I really  _really_  want to. I've been thinking about it for a while now. I wanted to wait until I was in love, but maybe I'm not the kind of person who falls in love."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Mercedes said, rolling her eyes. "You are going to fall in love one day, and damn, boy, when you do, you're going to fall hard."

"And what? This guy in his twenties, if we meet soon – in our sixties if things keep going the way they are for me-" Kurt ignored Mercedes’ snort of derision. "And I have to tell him, hey yeah, I'm a sixty-year old virgin, don't let that freak you out!"

"Kurt, honey…"

"No, Cedes, I'm serious. I'm done waiting. I want to have sex."

"Okay."

"And not because I'm horny, but because I've seen my friends go through this, and they are so much more confident and easy with themselves afterwards. And maybe…. Maybe it would help me loosen up and let love in."

"Okay."

"I'm not saying people have to have sex to be confident, but I feel like I'm missing something!"

"Okay."

"And don't try and talk me out of it, because I've made up my mind."

"Okay," Mercedes said with a smile. "I'm not going to stop you."

"Oh." Kurt was silent for a moment, his heart beating hard in his chest. He really did want to just find a guy and have sex and see what all the fuss was about.

"But, Kurt, what about me?" Mercedes spoke up, interrupting his thoughts. "Do you think I'm less confident and easy with myself because I've never had sex?"

"No, you're the most confident person I know, plus you've found love."

"So it’s love you want? Not sex? Because they go hand in hand sometimes, but they aren't the same thing, and you can often have one without the other."

Kurt sighed. He'd scooted up to the edge of the couch during his rant, but he leaned back now, tilting his head on the back cushion and looking at the ceiling. "I know, but still…. I think, for me, I'd feel better if I just did it, you know? I've waited so long that at this point I've worked it up into something bigger than it is and I don't want that."

"Well, Kurt, if you are just looking for a fling, there are plenty of guys who would be all over that. You are really hot … like, seriously, can't look at you too long because it is like staring into the sun hot."

Kurt laughed and looked at Mercedes, who winked at him. "Shut up."

"We could go back out to a bar and find you a guy right now," Mercedes said, standing up from the couch.

"Wait… Are you serious?"

"If you want to do this, then just do it, Kurt, don't let it haunt you." Mercedes started pulling Kurt up from the couch and Kurt let her, but he was shaking his head.

"No, no. I don't want that… I don't want to just pick up some guy from a bar. I mean, that's… unsafe and…. you know… creepy."

"People do it all the time."

"Mercedes, I don't want that."

Mercedes put a hand on her waist and jutted out her hip in frustration. She thought for a minute and then a smile grew on her face. "I have the greatest idea."

She rushed over to the counter that separated the apartment's living room from the kitchen and grabbed her iPad that was charging there. She typed something in and scrolled for a minute before she came back to Kurt, pushing him down on the couch and then passing the tablet to him.

"Go on," she smirked. "Pick someone out."

Kurt scrunched up his brow in confusion for a moment as he looked at a screen with rows of barely dressed men staring back at him. Then his eyebrows shot up in the air. "Oh my god! Cedes! You want me to hire a prostitute?!"

"Male escort," Mercedes corrected, "And look, this place seems legit. You hire them through a service that vouches for each of their employees and you meet them at a hotel of your choosing so they don't know where you live. It is all on the up-and-up."

"It scares me how fast you found this site."

Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"I hope you aren't joking," Kurt said, his stomach tightening in both excitement and nerves, "because I'm actually considering this."

"Good. Do it."

Kurt started to get more and more comfortable with the idea as he thought about it. If he just hired someone, there would be no trolling bars, there would be no awkward morning after, there would be no worrying that he went home with a psycho, it was easy and well organized. It was a quick and simple way to just have sex and be done with it.

His excitement started to wane, though, as he and Mercedes continued to scroll through the site. "Oh my gosh!" Mercedes laughed, pointing at one man's description "Well hung, 8 inches of pure bliss," she read out loud, choking on her laughter "If you want to see god, give me a call!"

"Uuuh, no…" Kurt said, looking at the profile of the muscle-bound guy with a goatee.

Mercedes was cracking up by now.

"In the list of things this guy does, it says 'feet’," Kurt said, also starting to laugh. "What does that even mean? Toys. Roleplay and Feet?"

"I don't want to know." Mercedes said wiping a tear from her eye.

Kurt sighed as his laughter faded out. "Cedes, I can't do this. Half of these pictures are just chests and penises and the other half look like porn stars on steroids. I can't… Where are the normal-looking guys? I just want a regular person." Kurt started to feel that heavy dejected feeling in his chest again.

"Kurt, you should let me pick someone," Mercedes said, taking the iPad from him.

Kurt raised an eyebrow dubiously.

"You trust me, right? Who knows you better than I do? I promise I won't pick any guy who has his dick measurement in the description and I will find you someone…. Normal-looking."

"Yeah, I mean… but still cute?"

"Obviously."

Kurt nodded. "Okay, because I think if I had to pick him myself, I would never actually choose."

"I've got this," Mercedes smiled. "Go start your face-cleansing routine and let me look."

Kurt agreed and went back to his room to get ready for bed. When he came back out half an hour later, Mercedes had pulled out the sofa sleeper and was already in her PJs. Kurt sat down next to her.

"I found the perfect guy. I mean it -  _perfect_." Mercedes grinned at him.

"You're sure?"

"I better be. I already booked him."

Kurt's eyes widened in shock. "You did not."

"Yup. Tomorrow evening. You have him all night."

"Tomorrow?  _All night_?" Kurt squeaked, his heart hammering in his chest. "Mercedes!"

"Hey, you can always back out if you really don't want to do it. No pressure, Kurt. But you seemed serious, and I thought you should just bite the bullet."

Kurt drew in a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah… Yeah, you're right. Tomorrow, though?"

"I wanted to still be in town when it happened. I'm not gonna lie, I'll want details afterwards."

Kurt smiled and shook his head, leaning down to kiss Mercedes' cheek. "You're a good friend."

"I am the  _best_  friend." Mercedes yawned, and Kurt got up from the bed to go to his room, but he turned back at the hall to look at Mercedes.

"What's his name?"

"Hum?" Mercedes sighed sleepily.

"The guy you picked out, what's his name?"

"His name is Blaine." And with that, Mercedes curled up under the covers and closed her eyes.

Kurt went to his own room and lay in bed awake for much too long, just one thought running through his mind.  _"His name is Blaine."_


	2. Blaine

Kurt sat on the edge of the king-size bed and twisted his fingers in his hand as his stomach flipped over. This was a bad idea, it was such a bad idea. How did he ever let Mercedes talk him into such an  _enormously_  bad idea?

Mercedes had set everything up, found a nice hotel, booked a room and got all the information to the escort service. And now all Kurt had to do was wait for Blaine to pick up the keycard left for him at the front desk and join Kurt upstairs.

Waiting had never been so torturous.

Kurt's throat felt dry and he couldn't keep his hands still and his heart was beating heavily in his chest. Should he be so aware of his heartbeat? Did it always beat so loud? He could get up and just leave… but at this point, the agency was getting paid either way, and he didn't want Mercedes to think she'd wasted her money.

Kurt could just tell Mercedes he'd gone through with it, he didn't actually have to… but then Kurt would be right back where he started without solving anything. He honestly didn't know what he should do.

Kurt heard someone outside his door and his fight or flight response kicked in. He wanted to  _flee_ , but there was nowhere to go and it was too late anyway, because now the door was opening, and someone was walking in and –

Everything stopped.   
  
Kurt had jolted up from the bed when the door opened and now he stood frozen to the floor as he caught his first glimpse of Blaine, the man Mercedes had hired for Kurt to  _lose his virginity to_. Kurt could hardly breathe, Blaine was… Blaine was…

He was beautiful.

He was shorter than Kurt would have expected - Kurt had a few inches on him - but he was well built, with broad shoulders and a slim waist. He had dark wavy hair, styled to perfection, and warm tan skin, and his eyes.  _Oh lord_. His eyes were a golden hue and seemed lit with a light from behind them, and then Blaine smiled.

Kurt breathed in a quiet involuntary gasp.

"Hi." Blaine said walking closer with and easy swagger to his steps, and held out his hand. Kurt had to hold back a whimper. "You must be Kurt. I'm Blaine."

The world stopped spinning for a moment, and Kurt just stared, until finally, he realized Blaine was standing with his hand out and Kurt wasn't doing anything.

"Kurt. I'm Kurt." He shook Blaine's hand. "Which you know already, because you just said that." He let out a nervous laugh and then clamped his mouth closed, dropping Blaine's hand.

Blaine's dark thick eyebrows raised as he continued to smile. "Wow, Kurt, I'm…" He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. "I feel really lucky right now."

"Lucky?" Kurt asked, his voice coming out a whisper.

"Yeah, look at you. You're… you're gorgeous."

Kurt barked out a laugh even as his face blushed red. "You have to say that. Is that how you start off with all your clients?"

Blaine took another step towards him and was now very close. "No. I mean… I try to make everyone I'm with feel comfortable and good about themselves. But I don't give out compliments I don't mean."

Kurt glanced up from where he was wringing his hands to look Blaine in the eyes, and oh, he was good, because Blaine had such an honest look of sincerity on his face that Kurt wanted to believe him.

"Oh, well, thank you. You are very attractive yourself," Kurt said, and his voice sounded funny in his head. He couldn't shake these nerves.

Blaine grinned and held out his arms. "What you picked out, right?" He winked and Kurt's stomach swooped.

"Actually, my friend set this up. She picked you out for me. I didn't even see your picture."

"You must really trust your friend."

Kurt laughed fretfully again and caught Blaine looking him over, appraisingly. "You're nervous," Blaine said, a statement of fact, not a question.

"I've never…." Kurt started, but his throat dried out.

"Ah." Blaine nodded. "First time with an escort." He turned to the bar in the room and pulled out two mini-bottles of something. "You need a drink."

Kurt wanted to suggest ordering up wine or champagne or something, but he should have thought about that sooner, he didn't want to wait. He walked over next to Blaine at the bar and took one of the bottles, uncapped it and took a swig. Coughing and sputtering a little as it went down. "What was that?"

"Vodka," Blaine said, leaning against the bar and watching him, amused. Kurt coughed again, and Blaine grabbed a water bottle, opening it and handing it to him. Kurt took a sip and then another gulp of vodka. "Thank you."

"You know, you don't have to be nervous. Tonight is all about you. What you want. We go at your speed, you're the boss."

Kurt nodded, his nerves uncoiling a little. Blaine's voice was smooth, sure and calming and he stood in front of Kurt so at ease with himself that Kurt couldn't help but feel some of his residual confidence.

Blaine held out a hand and Kurt looked down at it for a moment before taking it. Blaine gently led him to the bed, where he sat on the edge and patted next to him for Kurt to join him. Kurt sat down and licked his lips, trying to think of what to do or say next.

"So tell me, Kurt. What are you looking for out of this evening? What do you want?"

"Um…" Kurt shook his head, he felt like an idiot, he _never_ had trouble with words, but right now his mind felt like a blank slate.

"All right, how about you tell me who you want me to be tonight?" Blaine asked.

"Yourself," Kurt said without hesitation, and for a second, he thought he caught something like surprise cross Blaine's face. "I just want you to be yourself," Kurt repeated, growing in confidence.

"Oh." Blaine smiled after a moment. "I can do that."

"And I should tell you why I'm doing this."

"Birthday gift from your friend?" Blaine guessed.

"No."

"Um… You just broke up with a jackass and you need to have a really good night of sex?"

Kurt laughed. "No."

"You're in the closet and this is the only way you can be with another guy?"

Kurt's smile faded. "No. Does that… happen a lot?"

"Often enough for it not to surprise me anymore."

"That's really sad."

"Sorry!" Blaine said quickly, leaning in a little. "I didn't mean to bring to mood down."

"It's okay. I want you to be yourself, and that's something you deal with, so… it's okay. Um…" Kurt brushed imaginary hair off his forehead, a nervous habit he'd had since his youth. "My friend found you for me because… I've never…"

Blaine was just so close and looking at him so intently it made Kurt want to shiver.

"This isn't just my first time with an escort. This is my first time ever. I'm a 26-year-old virgin!" Kurt said quickly and then covered his face in his hands. He didn't have to tell Blaine that. In fact, he'd decided before this evening not to bring it up. But if Blaine expected him to know what he wanted, they were never going to get anywhere. Kurt didn't know anything… and okay, that wasn't true, Kurt knew how this kind of thing worked, but not from personal experience, and he just wasn't sure how to… get it going.

Kurt felt the warm press of fingertips on his wrist and Blaine gently pulled his hand away from his face. "Hey, Kurt, look at me."

Kurt glanced up – and really, Blaine had the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.

"That is nothing to be embarrassed about, you know."

"It is."

Blaine smiled and it made Kurt feel warm inside. "It really isn't. There is nothing wrong with being a 26-year-old virgin or a 35-year-old virgin or an 84-year-old virgin."

Kurt felt a smile growing on his face.

"There is nothing wrong with you."

Kurt let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, hearing the exact words he needed to hear. "Thank you."

"So don't do this because you feel you have to. You seem scared and I never want to scare someone. If you decide this isn't right for you, we can call this off right now. I'll even make sure you get a full refund."

Kurt blinked and studied Blaine's face. Wide eyes that shone with earnestness, bowed red lips tipped up in the slightest of smiles and a strong jaw that Kurt suddenly wanted to drag his mouth over. God, he was almost too perfect to be real. "I want to do this," Kurt said in a hushed voice. "I really want to. I just need you to… take the lead."

"I can do that," Blaine breathed, and he leaned in, covering the space between them and pressing his lips ever so lightly against Kurt's lips. He waited for Kurt to move and press into the kiss before he lifted his hand to Kurt's waist, pulling him in and kissing him deeper. Kurt let out a little gasping moan as Blaine's soft lips worked against his own. This he'd done before, plenty of kissing, but somehow this felt different.

It felt electric.

Maybe it was because Kurt knew what this was leading to, or maybe it was just because Blaine was a really good kisser, but as Blaine pulled him in closer and smoothly swiped his tongue across Kurt's lips, Kurt finally started to feel a little surer of himself. He was doing this, and he was so glad he was.


	3. The First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry this took me so lost to post. Hopefully it will be worth the wait. *posts smut - runs away to hide*

Warm firm hands pressed against his back, pulling him in until Kurt's chest was flush against Blaine's as they continued to kiss. Blaine's lips were soft but sure, kissing Kurt's lips and jaw then down his neck until Kurt's eyes fluttered closed and he let out a stammered moan. He felt Blaine chuckle into the kiss at the curve of his neck and shoulder. Kurt shuddered a little, and then Blaine started pulling away.

Kurt didn't want that. They had momentum going, and Kurt needed to keep it going or he worried he'd start to freak out a little. He bunched the back of Blaine's shirt in his fist and held him close. "Where are you going?" Kurt asked hotly against Blaine's skin as he opened his eyes to look at Blaine's face.

Blaine's golden eyes were blown dark, and Kurt couldn't help but smirk a little. Yes, this was Blaine's job, but he still seemed to be enjoying himself.

"I'm not going anywhere," Blaine answered quietly and pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's cheek. "I just thought we'd get rid of this." His fingers found the hem of Kurt's shirt and started lifting, Kurt let him but he felt his body going stiff. Blaine pulled the sweater over Kurt's head leaving him with his undershirt and then moved to take that off too. Kurt's spine went ridged as he wrapped his arms around himself. Blaine stopped. He held his hands up as if in surrender and looked Kurt in the eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yes. I…" Kurt wet his lips as he felt his cheeks heat. Obviously, the removal of clothing was part of what was going on here. Still, his stomach tightened with nerves as Blaine looked at him expectantly.

Blaine's lips quirked up in a kind smile. "How about I go first?" He was wearing a crisp white shirt that he slowly started unbuttoning, Kurt's eyes followed the movements of his long fingers as they undid each button, opening the shirt and shrugging it off. Then, in one easy motion, Blaine pulled his tank over his head. Kurt let out a long breath as he let his eyes roam over Blaine's skin, up from his firm tan stomach over his strong chest and finally landing on Blaine's eyes again. He was still smiling.

"Better?" Blaine asked, and Kurt could only nod. Blaine reached out for Kurt's hands and pulled them forward, placing them on his belt buckle. "Take this off for me?"

 _Oh god, oh god._  He was about to see this beautiful man naked. Oh _god._  Kurt nodded again, feeling foolish at his lack of words, but unable to think of a single thing to say. He undid Blaine's belt buckle and was glad to see that even though his voice seemed caught, his hands knew what they were doing. He unbuttoned and unzipped Blaine's black slacks and Blaine lifted himself up to let Kurt slide the pants down. He took a moment to shake them off and kick off his shoes and socks before kneeling back next to Kurt, now wearing nothing but a snuggly fitting pair of gray boxer briefs.  


_Oh god._

Kurt took a moment to just look. So much smooth tan skin to take in. Blaine's strong thighs and a sparse trail of dark hair from his stomach to the top of his underwear. Kurt wasn't sure how long he'd been staring before he became aware of himself again; he looked up at Blaine who was watching him closely. "Are we okay to keep going?"

"Yum, yes," Kurt answered. " _Very_  okay."

Blaine let out a short laugh and Kurt couldn't help but smile at the warm sound, and then Blaine's lips were on his again. He pressed Kurt down until Kurt's head was nestled on a pillow. Kurt curled his fingers into the hair at the nape of Blaine's neck and kissed him back, he didn't even think about it when Blaine slipped a hand under his shirt and let it travel up Kurt's chest. It only took a few moments for Kurt to lose his undershirt and then Blaine was smoothly undoing Kurt's pants, all the while kissing him and gently letting his lips work over the pulse point on Kurt's neck and doing a very good job of distracting him.

Kurt held onto Blaine and lifted his hips, allowing Blaine to slip his pants off. He watched Blaine as he moved down and slipped off his shoes, the action somehow seeming sweet and innocent among all the heat building between them. Then Blaine eased himself back over Kurt, lowering his hips until they pressed against Kurt's own. Kurt let out a surprised gasp as he felt Blaine hard in his briefs.

"Oh wow," Kurt said, and Blaine grinned at him.

Kurt lay still, no longer kissing Blaine, but still holding onto him like an anchor as Blaine's mouth traveled down his shoulder to his chest and feathered over a nipple, causing Kurt to shudder. Blaine planted a kiss to the center of Kurt’s chest and then looked up at him, his eyes warm and wide. He smiled as Kurt looked back down at him, feeling a little stunned.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked rather breathily, but Kurt just kept looking at him, not processing the question.

"Like this?" He reached for one of Kurt's hands tangled in his hair, leading it down so that it cupped his ass. Kurt took a deep breath at the feel of Blaine, firm beneath his palm. "Or like this?" Blaine's free hand slid under Kurt and down the inside of his underwear until the tip of his fingers pressed between Kurt's cheeks.

"Oh  _fuck_." Kurt's head tilted back and his breathing sped up.

"Ah, like that then." Blaine hummed and lifted himself up to kiss Kurt's lips again.

Kurt's body was already trembling, the flush of Blaine's hot skin sliding against his own, Blaine's lips moving over him expertly, finding the perfect spots to stop and tease to draw moans from Kurt's throat. Kurt was squirming under the soothing weight of Blaine's body, bucking his hips involuntarily and doing everything he could to get  _closer_. Blaine was moving over him too, the hard press of their bodies making Kurt whimper.  


Blaine's hand stayed on his skin under his underwear cupping his ass and drawing him in. Kurt started to feel a little lost, caught up in how good Blaine's body felt against his own and the rising heat between them. His mind was fuzzy, but he wanted to remember this in detail, he wanted to be  _present_  for it, for something he had waited for and hoped for so long.

"B-Blaine." Kurt panted, moving his arms from around Blaine's back to press lightly against his chest. "Wait."

Blaine sucked in a breath and immediately pulled back to look down at Kurt with flushed cheeks and kiss-plump lips. Kurt's eyes crinkled up in a smile. Blaine was like every fantasy he'd ever had, but better. Real and solid and  _right here_.

"Do we need to stop?" Blaine asked, and his voice broke a little. Kurt wondered if Blaine felt this as much as he seemed to feel it, or if his profession had just made him a really good actor. Kurt decided to believe Blaine wanted this as much as he did. It left him feeling a little empty and lonely to consider anything else.

"No, don’t stop," Kurt said, his fingertips lazily brushing over Blaine's chest. "Just… I feel like I'm not paying attention and I don't… I don't want to miss it."

Blaine grinned down at him. "So slow things down then," Blaine said, and Kurt sighed in relief. Yes, that's what he needed. "You say you've never done anything like this?" Blaine asked and the hand that wasn't supporting his weight moved down Kurt's abdomen to toy with the hem of his underwear.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat. "No, nothing."

"Mmmm," Blaine hummed as his fingers continued traveling down, hooking in Kurt's briefs and taking them with him. Kurt lay very still as Blaine pulled the last scrap of Kurt's clothing off, and Kurt watched him with bright eyes as he took off his own underwear and then positioned himself between Kurt's legs lowering his face to rub his nose up Kurt's thigh and then-

"Oh my god!" Kurt shouted at the feel of Blaine's lips mouthing over him. Kurt's hands curled into Blaine's hair again, it seemed to be his favorite place to hang on, and Blaine laid an arm across Kurt's hips as he parted his lips and took in the tip of Kurt's erection. It was a good thing Blaine had thought to hold him down with his arm, because Kurt's hips immediately thrust upward, but Blaine was ready, taking him in a little deeper, and Kurt couldn't do anything but buck and moan under him.

Blaine moved his lips to kiss down Kurt's length and then back up again to take him in more deeply. One of Kurt's hands left Blaine's hair to clench at the pillow he was laying on. His eyes were shut tight, but he forced himself to open them, to look down at the man who was making him feel like this. Blaine glanced up at him with his darkly lashed eyes and kept his gaze even as he took more of Kurt in and  _god_ , Kurt was coming undone. He felt like he was unraveling, but in the best possible way.

"B-Blaine... I…" Kurt's voice was ragged and his breaths short as he tried to tell Blaine that he was about to come. Blaine seemed to understand, though, and he slowly and seductively pulled off as Kurt watched him helplessly.

He didn't even know this man, but right then Blaine controlled him completely, he'd do whatever Blaine asked of him. Blaine sat up on his knees on the bed, keeping one hand holding Kurt's hip but otherwise not touching him, and Kurt wanted Blaine to be touching him.

"Just a sec, okay?" Blaine asked and then got off the bed, picking his pants up from the floor and fishing something out of the pocket. Kurt watched him, stunned, as Blaine stood completely nude and unashamed in front of him. There wasn't an inch of him that didn't make Kurt's mouth water.

Blaine came back to the bed with lube and a condom. He ripped the condom packing open with his teeth, and Kurt just watched him. He knew he was lying stretched out on the bed completely naked and hard, but somehow, he didn't care that Blaine was obviously looking at him. He felt wound tight, but ready for what was coming next. And he needed it, he was so close to coming and now Blaine wasn't even touching him and he was  _ready_.

"Why don't you turn over to your stomach?" Blaine said softly. "I want this to be as comfortable for you as possible."

"I want to see you." Kurt said without thinking, and Blaine lifted his eyebrows in surprise before he smiled.   
  
"That's… I…" He cleared his throat. "I get that, but for your first time… I really  _really_  don't want to hurt you."

"Okay." Kurt wasn't going to argue. Blaine was the one that knew what he was doing. Kurt turned over, hugging his pillow, and waited as Blaine grabbed a second pillow and placed it under Kurt's hips. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes as he heard Blaine uncap the lube and squirt some out.

A moment later, Blaine was finally touching him again, one hand gently holding his waist and then warm, slick fingers making their way between Kurt's ass cheeks. Kurt bit his tongue so as not to make some kind of embarrassing whine, but forgot about holding anything back as the tip of Blaine's finger circled his hole before pressing in.

Kurt buried his face in the pillow, moaning, and held on tight as Blaine very gently and sweetly started stretching him open. It was almost maddingly slow, one finger pumping in and out and touching Kurt in a way no other human had ever touched him. It was so wonderfully intimate and felt so amazingly good that Kurt forgot to even be nervous. It seemed like an eternity of jolts of pleasure and burning stretch as Blaine added a finger and then after some time a third.

"Please, I'm ready." Kurt squirmed under him. " _Please_." Kurt felt Blaine's hot breath puff against his shoulder as he leaned over him and placed a kiss to his flushed skin.

"I just want to make sure this is good for you," Blaine replied, his voice sounding husky, but he removed his fingers. His other hand smoothed down Kurt’s side, arranging his legs under him so his hips were raised. Kurt twisted his neck around so he could look back at Blaine, sitting on his knees and holding Kurt's hips as he lined himself up. Kurt blinked at the sight of him, sweaty and beautiful, and then Kurt had to look away. He pressed his face against the pillow again as he felt the tip of Blaine's hard-on press against him.

Then Blaine was pressing in, holding him securely and entering him, and there was a stretch and burn to it. Blaine's fingers had opened him, but it wasn't the same as this, this feeling of being completely full. It didn't hurt, though. It just felt  _different_ , odd and so so good, and Kurt was trying to find a word to describe how he was feeling, as Blaine pulled out and then back in again, repositioning himself. This happened a few times before Blaine pressed in and hit somewhere inside of Kurt that made him lift his face from the pillow and shout out as pleasure coursed through his body, making him feel like a twine about to snap.  


He heard Blaine groan and felt him tighten his hold on Kurt's hips as he continued to thrust in and out of him, rocking Kurt's body and hitting that perfect spot inside of him. Kurt started pressing back steadily, wanting more and more of Blaine,  _needing_  him inside. He felt full and hot and thrumming with pleasure.  


Kurt realized he was whining and moaning as sweat trailed down his skin and the room was filled with the creaking of the bed and the sound of Blaine thrusting behind him. Kurt's eyes were swimming, and he couldn't focus on anything beside the  _yes, right there, that feels perfect_  on loop in his mind. Kurt wasn't sure how long this went on before he felt Blaine reach for him, fisting him gently in his hand as he started pumping. Kurt let out a long cry, forgetting himself for a moment before he slapped a hand over his own mouth. What if there were people in the rooms next to this one?

He really couldn't care as in a moment as everything came to a climax, Blaine hitting just the right spot and his hand on Kurt moving perfectly, and black spots danced before Kurt's eyes as he came with cry. The twine snapped, and after a long suspended moment Kurt's body shuddered and then collapsed on the bed. Blaine moved in him a few more times before he let out a muffled shout. Kurt craned to look back and saw him biting down on his palm to quiet his groan, before he fell down on top of him, his slick body pressing along Kurt's back, both of them panting heavily.

Kurt couldn't move. He didn't  _want_  to move. His body felt rubbery and content and he didn't even mind the weight of Blaine against his back. He didn't even care that he was sweaty and dirty - he just felt so good.

Blaine eventually got up, though, and Kurt whimpered a little as Blaine slid out of him. He got up off of the bed, kissing the back of Kurt’s neck, and Kurt watched him walk to the bathroom. He was back in a moment, still gloriously naked and with a damp cloth in his hand. He cleaned Kurt up and then softly instructed him to turn over. Kurt smiled as he stretched and rolled to his back, watching Blaine's every move as he ever so sweetly cleaned him off.

He walked back to the bathroom with the cloth and then came to the bed, sitting on the empty side next to Kurt and looking down at him with a soft smile. "How do you feel?"

"Mmmm…" Kurt stretched his hands over his head and then reached up for Blaine, pulling him down into a kiss. "I feel like you should lie down next to me," he said against his lips.

Blaine smiled and maneuvered them both under the soft comforter. Kur scooted close to him, tucking his face into Blaine’s neck and wrapping his arms around him. "That was…" Kurt started and then stopped, what was the word he was looking for? Amazing? Perfect? Incredible? "That was everything I needed," Kurt decided, and he sighed as Blaine kissed his forehead.

"Well, your friend booked me all night, so if you want to go again in a little bit, just let me know."

"Oh god," Kurt moaned tiredly, even though he was tempted by the idea. "I can hardly move, my body feels like rubber."

Blaine chuckled at that.

"Would it be okay if we just slept for a little while?"

"That'd be fine.

"And is it all right if I keep holding you like this?" Kurt nuzzled happily against Blaine's neck and wondered if many of Blaine's clients just cuddled with him after sex. Was Kurt being weird? It was just that he was tired and loose and blissful. Blaine felt good and smelled good, and it felt right to be this close to him.

"I'd like that," Blaine answered, wrapping his arms around Kurt.

Kurt smiled and sighed and, after a while, fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Kurt woke up blinking at an unfamiliar ceiling and with a heavy warm comforter tucked around him. It took a moment to remember he was in a hotel room. A hotel room Mercedes had booked for him because last night Kurt had had sex with...

"Blaine?" Kurt sat up when he realized he was alone in bed and saw Blaine sitting in a chair nearby, dressed now and pulling on his shoes.

"Good morning." He smiled and Kurt felt his stomach swoop.

"Good morning." He glanced at the clock by the bed. 8:00 am. He'd slept all night.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

Kurt stretched his arms over his head, letting the sheets pool around his waist, and was pleased to notice Blaine's eyes roaming his naked chest. "I feel amazing," Kurt said, letting his hands drop into his lap.

"No soreness?"

Kurt shifted around on the mattress a little. He did feel something, but it didn't hurt. Blaine had been very thorough and very kind. "No. I just feel… amazing," Kurt repeated, and he enjoyed the sound of Blaine's laugher.

"Good. I'm glad." Blaine stood up and came to sit on the edge of the bed by Kurt. "I hope it is okay that we slept the rest of the night."

"It was nice. I feel very rested." Kurt pushed his hair off his forehead nervously and tried to not think about what his hair must look like right now. It seemed Blaine had already showered and gotten ready for the day. He looked perfect. "I'm sorry if I was... clingy," Kurt continued, thinking back to last night and how, after he came, all he wanted to do was hold Blaine as close as he possibly could.

"I don't mind," Blaine said with a smile. "I have to say, I enjoy my job, I really do, but last night with you?" He shook his head in wonder. "Wow, Kurt… Just… Whatever guy this leads you to next, he is one lucky man." His eyes were sparkling and his cheeks seemed to flush, and was an escort like Blaine actually blushing at him?

Kurt couldn't help but smile at Blaine's words, even as he tried to hold back the intensity of his grin. "You don't have to say that."

"I know I don't." Blaine leaned in so his face was close to Kurt's own, his breath warm and a little minty. "But I mean it."

"Thank you," Kurt breathed. "Thank you for everything. Last night was so much more than I could ever have hoped for."

Blaine smiled and leaned forward, capturing Kurt's lips in a heated kiss. Kurt's hand moved up to cup Blaine's cheek, and Blaine deepened this kiss before slowly pulling away. "My pleasure" he said, meeting Kurt's eyes and then standing up from the bed.

Kurt was left a little speechless.

"Thank your friend for me," Blaine said with a wink as he headed towards to door. He stopped with his hand on the handle and was still for a moment, as if he was lost in thought, then he turned his head back to look at Kurt, "And… call me if you ever… want to again." He smiled and opened the door and then he was gone.

Kurt sat on the bed, his heart beating fast in his chest, before he let out a long happy laugh - throwing himself back down on the bed and grinning like a madman. After years of worrying over what his first time would be like, he couldn't think of anything better than what Blaine had given him.


	4. Stuck On You

Kurt was standing on the subway, hanging onto a pole to keep balance, unconsciously smiling. He swayed with the movement of the train as his mind flitted over pleasant images. Blaine’s bright eyes, tan skin, his strong hands, and sweet lips. He cleared his throat, and stopped his thoughts there. This wasn’t the place to be fantasizing about Blaine’s sweet lips.  
  
Kurt’s incredible night with Blaine had been over a week ago, and Kurt found that it came up in his thoughts quite often. After Blaine had left the next morning, Kurt just laid in bed for a long time, hands exploring his own skin, somehow expecting to feel different. He didn’t. He was still the same person he was before his night with Blaine. Of course he was the same person, what had he expected?  
  
Eventually, he had gotten up and showered and left, grabbing a bagel and coffee before returning to his apartment. Mercedes had been there waiting for him with wide eyes, and when she saw the blissful look on his face, an even wider smile.  
  
“Oh my god Kurt, look at you!”  
  
“What?” Kurt said sitting down next to her, trying to hide his smile by taking a sip of coffee.  
  
“You had a damn good time.” She nudged him with her elbow and winked. “I picked a good one didn’t I?”  
  
Kurt grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “Mercedes I don’t know how you found him but…” Kurt shook his head and sighed happily. “He was… I mean…”  
  
“Hot?” Mercedes finished for him.  
  
“ _So_  hot, but it was more than that, he was a gentleman, and he was... sweet really. I ended up telling him I had never done anything before, and he went out of his way to be gentle and to make sure I was alright… and it was…” Kurt just sighed again as Mercedes watched him closely, for a moment there was something in her eyes that he couldn’t read, but then she wrapped him in a hug, and Kurt had to be careful not to spill his coffee.  
  
“I’m glad for you.” Mercedes said, pulling back. “I was so worried last night, I could hardly sleep, I just keep thinking of all the ways this could go wrong, or that once it was said and done, you’d regret it.”  
  
“I don’t regret it. I’d always pictured my first time differently than what it actually was, I mean, I don’t even know this guy, but at the same time it was still somehow everything I wanted? I don’t know, I’m not making sense. It was really perfect.”  
  
Mercedes had taken the bagel from his hands, and tore it in half, giving him back part of it, “I’m glad.” She smiled and then drove into asking him all kinds of questions, and Kurt spent the rest of the morning talking about the night before. Not  _all_  the details, Mercedes didn’t need or want to know all that, but discussing how Kurt felt now and how kind Blaine was.  
  
Mercedes left later that week, and Kurt hadn’t told anyone else about it. It hadn’t been anything dirty or sordid, and he didn’t want anyone to see it that way, so he just kept it to himself.  
  
Kurt didn’t really  _feel_  any more confident in his day to day life, but he did think that the next time the chance arose for him to do  _something_  with someone, he wouldn’t shy away. He felt good about that. It felt good not having the pressure of “his first time” looming over him.  
  
He tried to push all thoughts of that night and Blaine out of his head as he exited the train, and continued on to work. At least his job was a distraction.  
  
Nick worked in the same department that Kurt did. He was tall, dark haired, green eyed, and handsome. He often flirted with Kurt, but he flirted with all the gay guys at work, so Kurt had never really thought much of it. That day though, when Nick came and sat on the edge of Kurt’s desk and smiled at him, Kurt leaned forward, met his eyes and smiled back. If Nick could flirt so could Kurt.  
  
Nick seemed pleasantly surprised, and let his hand linger on Kurt’s arm, before going back to his own desk.  As they were leaving the office at the end of the day, Nick ran up to catch Kurt on his way to the elevator.  
  
“Hey Kurt!” He called smiling. “Some of us from the office are going out for drinks. Want to join us?”  
  
Kurt hesitated for just a moment, before shrugging, “Sure, that could be fun.”  
  
Kurt wasn’t surprised that Nick sat next to him at the bar, or that the more he drank, the higher up Kurt’s leg Nick’s hand traveled. Their other co-workers started trailing off as it got later, and after a while Kurt found himself snugly in a booth at the back of the bar, with Nick’s lips on his neck, and his hands pulling at his shirt.  
  
Kurt hadn’t had that much to drink, but he was pleasantly buzzed, and Nick’s ministrations felt nice. One of his hands tilted Kurt’s face towards him, and he pressed their lips together, Kurt kissed him back happy to make-out and even thinking he might be okay with taking things further.  
  
Then one of Nick’s wondering hands slipped down the front of Kurt’s pants.  
  
Kurt yelped in surprise, and backed up as far as he could in the corner of the booth, the trouble was he was already crammed pretty far back there with Nick pressing him in, so he didn’t really have anywhere to go to get away. Kurt’s heart panicked in his chest. He knew this is where he and Nick were heading but suddenly it felt like too much for him.  
  
“W- wait Nick.” Nick backed up to look him, but kept his hand where it was. Kurt let out a long breath and calmed himself then very gently moved his hand, and placed it in Nick’s lap.  
  
“Yeah you’re right babe.” Nick said wetting his pink lips. “We should get out of here, my place is close by.”  
  
Kurt sat still for a moment, considering Nick’s proposal, he knew exactly what going back to Nick’s place would mean – Nick was fun and nice and extremely attractive. This was the kind of situation he’d been telling himself on the train that very morning he was ready for.

Nick stood, tugging on Kurt’s hand, until Kurt got to his feet, only to have Nick pull him into a kiss. A nice kiss, Kurt enjoyed it. He found himself pushing Nick back though.  
  
“Thanks Nick. This was fun, but I’m going to head home.” Kurt said his breath a little short.  
  
Nick looked surprised. “Should I come?”  
  
Kurt shook his head and smiled, the fact that he couldn’t go through with this wasn’t Nicks fault. “No.”  
  
“Are you seeing someone?”  
  
“No… I just…”  
  
“You’re not interested.”  
  
“Nick, it isn’t you.” Kurt tried to explain, but Nick just smiled, and shrugged.

“It’s fine. If you are ever interested though...” He leaned in to kiss Kurt one more time, “Know that I’m  _very_  interested.” And with that he left without any trouble.  
  
Kurt settled his tab, and then headed home as well, kicking himself the whole way.  _You don’t have to have sex just because you have already._  He told himself on the way home _. Just because you didn’t want to with Nick, doesn’t mean you’ll never want to._  The thing was he didn’t understand why he hadn’t wanted to go back to Nick’s place with him. What in the world was stopping him now?  
  
It was disappointing, the whole point of hiring an escort was so that he wouldn’t feel so nervous about sex, but the thought of going back to Nick’s place had made him freeze up. Why was being with someone he knew and liked a harder thing than having sex with someone he’d never met? He thought back to being with Blaine, and smiled a little, his heart doing funny like flip-flops in his chest.  
  
Oh no. No no. He wasn’t allowed to feel like that.    
  
It wasn’t just the amazing sex he kept thinking about. He couldn’t get  _Blaine_  out of his head. He tried telling himself that he  _didn’t_  have a crush on an escort. He couldn’t really, because he didn’t actually know who Blaine was. Blaine had been perfect for him, and that in itself was suspect. Wasn’t it Blaine’s job to read what his clients wanted and deliver that? To say he had a crush on Blaine would be foolish, he had no idea who Blaine really was.  
  
Still he had to admit, if Blaine had been in the bar with him that evening, and it had been Blaine to ask him back to his place – the night would have ended differently.    


Kurt got home, shrugged of his jacket, and grabbed his phone to shoot a text off to Rachel.  _‘Lunch tomorrow?’_  He needed to talk this all out with someone.

* * *

“Honestly Kurt. I don’t understand how she got the part.” Rachel said her elbows leaning on the table, her face expressive as she told her story. “I mean she can dance, I’ll give her that, but as  _my_  understudy, I would have expected a stronger voice than that!”

  
“That’s probably why she’s the understudy.” Kurt replied, pushing pasta around on his plate. “You could be good for her, inspire her to work harder.”  
  
“Mmmm… I guess…” Rachel looked thoughtful for a moment, and then glanced down at Kurt’s plate. “Okay spill.” She said and Kurt lifted an eyebrow in question. “You’ve been pushing your food around for the past half-hour. You texted me late last night asking to meet for lunch, so you obviously have something on your mind.”  
  
Kurt stuck a bite of Capellini in his mouth, just to show Rachel she was wrong, but sighed as he swallowed it. She wasn’t wrong.  
  
“Is it work?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Your dad is okay, right?”  
  
Kurt smiled, “Yes, he’s fine. It’s actually about… a guy.”  
  
Rachel sat up straighter, banging her palms down on the table in her excitement. “Kurt! Why did you let me go babbling on about my understudy when there’s  _a guy_! How long has it been since there was a guy!”

“It isn’t like that.” Kurt said stabbing his food now. “It’s Nick, from work. We hung out last night, and he asked me back to his place.”  
  
Rachel beamed at him, “And one thing lead to another?”  
  
“No. I turned him down.”  
  
“Oh.” Rachel’s face dropped, she seemed disappointed. “Why?”  
  
Kurt ran his hand nervously through his hair. He’d thought about this a lot, he wanted to talk to Rachel about this, but he didn’t want to admit as much as he did with Mercedes, so he had to find a way around the whole story. “Because there is someone else… he and I kind of hooked up last week.”  
  
Rachel was quiet for a moment. “You’re seeing someone? And you didn’t tell me?” Her voice was small, and the excitement on her face had vanished.  
  
“No, Rachel no,” Kurt hurried to explain. “It isn’t like that. I’m not seeing this other guy I just – It was a onenight stand.”  
  
Rachel’s eyebrows flew to her hairline, but she didn’t say anything.  
  
“And now, even though I like Nick, I couldn’t go back to his place with him, because I can’t get this other guy out of my head.”  
  
“You had a one night stand?  _Kurt Hummel_ had a one night stand?”  
  
Kurt smashed a grape tomato on his plate with his fork. “Yes Rachel.” He answered though gritted teeth. “I’m not a eunuch you know.”  
  
“I had no idea you did one night stands.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I didn’t really think you had sex that much.”  


Kurt cleared his throat and shrugged instead of replying.  
  
“So you like this Mr. One Night Stand?”  
  
“I’m not sure I like that name for him, but yes.”  
  
“So much so, that it is stopping you from pursuing someone else?”  
  
“Yes.” Kurt looked away, not able to meet Rachel’s gaze. He hated that it was true, but he  _was_  a little hung up on Blaine.  
  
“Why can’t you just see Mr. One Night Stand Guy again then?”  
  
“I could. I’ve thought about it, but it would just be for sex.” Kurt could feel his face flush. “There isn’t a relationship there.”  
  
“You’re sure?”  
  
Kurt nodded, and dropped the fork on his plate, leaning back in his chair. “I’m sure. I could see B-  _him_  again. But it would just be another one night stand.”  
  
“Then do it.” Rachel advised, taking a sip of her drink. “You like him enough that it is keeping you from seeing someone else. Go for it. Maybe the second time will change your mind, or… I don’t know, get him out of your head? I wonder if you’ve built him up in your mind. You know how you do that.”  
  
Kurt chuckled, yeah he built things up in his mind until they were looming over him that was what had set him down this path in the first place. “So I just have sex, no strings attached?”  
  
“I mean not forever. You’re like me, we’re the kind of people who want a committed relationship. But yeah, if Mr. One Night Stand-”  
  
“Please don’t call him that.”  
  
“Then give me another name.” Rachel said with attitude.   
  
Kurt remained silent.   
  
“If  _Mr. One Night Stand_.” Rachel continued pointedly, “Is what you want right now, go for it. Booty call him.”  
  
Kurt laughed. “Never say booty call again.”  
  
“Booty call him Kurt!” Rachel said a bit too loud, and then immediately quieted, as they both looked around to see if anyone heard her, before breaking out in laughter.

* * *

Kurt sat on his couch later that evening with his phone in hand. Blaine had left a little black and silver card on the table in the hotel room and Kurt was glaring at it, angry that he hadn’t summoned up the courage to call the number on the back.  
  
Kurt wanted to push call, but he felt like he was crossing a line here. One night with an escort to lose his virginity was one thing, but to keep it up would mean he was a  _regular_ , a  _John_ … and that felt… not good.  
  
Kurt sighed. Rachel was right though, he needed to get Blaine out of his head – maybe this was the only way to do it?  
  
He took a breath and hit call bringing the phone up to his ear as it rang. 


	5. The Second Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! 
> 
> We have some smut and fluff in this chapter - I hope you enjoy it.  
> And remember comments = the feeling of finding money in your pocket that you'd forgotten about. 
> 
> Thank you! xo

Kurt arrived at the hotel a little early. He wanted to be prepared this time. Besides, he'd been anticipating this all week since he called the number on the card Blaine left for him. He'd been surprised by a female voice on the other end, but apparently Shaunel set the schedules for all the service's escorts. Meaning that Kurt hadn't even been able to talk to Blaine, and the days leading up to seeing him again were filled with anticipation.

It wasn't nervous anticipation this time, though. Kurt had been in this position before and knew how wonderful it'd been last time. The only thing that really made him anxious was wanting to get it right. He wanted to talk to Blaine a little, get to know him. Maybe if he understood better who Blaine really was, he wouldn't have him built up in his mind as this perfect guy. When you just had a symbol of a person to fantasize about, you could make them into whoever you wanted them to be. That was why he was crushing on Blaine a little. Nothing more.

So tonight, he'd have another chance at some amazing sex, and the opportunity to be done with Blaine so he could move on to someone real. Not that Blaine wasn't real... but move on to a relationship that could actually  _be_  a relationship.

Room service set up the meal and the iced champagne Kurt had ordered and Kurt waited. Soon after room service left, there was a knock on the door and then it opened. Kurt bounced on his toes a little in excitement and then made himself settle as Blaine walked into the room.

"Kurt Hummel," Blaine said with an easy smile, leaning up against the wall and crossing his arms casually. Kurt wet his lips. Blaine looked amazing, of course. This evening, he was wearing a dark blue suit paired with a light blue shirt, no tie and the first couple buttons of the shirt opened, making his tan neck look even longer.

Kurt swallowed and smiled. "Hi, Blaine."

Blaine pushed off the wall, closing the door behind him as and walked towards Kurt. "I really hoped you'd call again."

Kurt's grin widened and he shook his head in disbelief. "Because that is good for business, right?" Then he looked down at his shoes, feeling silly and shy.

Blaine didn't answer. Kurt kept staring down at his own shoes warily, but finally glanced up to look at him. Blaine caught his eyes. "Not just because of the business aspect," he answered, now that Kurt was looking at him. "I really did want to see you again. I doubted I'd have the chance, though."

"Well, here I am." Kurt shrugged helplessly.

"Mmmhmm." Blaine took another step closer, bringing a hand up to tug on the elbow of Kurt's shirt, pulling him in. "You look gorgeous," he said, his eyes drifting from Kurt's eyes to his lips. "Delicious, even."

Kurt laughed nervously. Blaine made him feel a little scattered, in a good way. "I…um… I actually ordered dinner this time." Blaine dropped his hand and turned to look at the covered plates laid out on a nearby table. "I ordered chicken parmesan and a beef tenderloin. You can have whichever one you want. I didn't know what you liked. I also have salad and fruit because I realized at the last moment you might be vegetarian. I have a good friend who is a vegetarian... sometimes. And um… there is champagne." Kurt forced himself to stop talking, because he knew he sounded nervous.

"You didn't have to do all of this," Blaine said, and he looked truly surprised.

"I know. I just thought it might be nice to talk before... before…"

"Before jumping into bed?" Blaine winked.

"Oh god," Kurt groaned, and held his head in his hand. "This is silly, isn't it? I bet you don't do this kind of thing. It isn't like this is a date."

"Kurt, wait. Stop." Blaine reached for his hand, pulling it down so he could look at him, then he leaned in and pressed their lips together. It only took a second for Kurt to relax into the kiss, holding onto Blaine's shoulders, and Blaine cupped his face. When Blaine pulled away, he was smiling and his cheeks rosy. "I love this. I love that you ordered dinner and worried about getting something I would like. It isn't silly. It’s very sweet. Thank you."

"I just… I felt like I should know you better. Who you really are. You were my first."  _And only so far,_ Kurt thought, but didn't add. "I'd like to know more about you."

"Okay," Blaine agreed, still smiling kindly. He moved to pull Kurt's seat out and then joined him at the table. "Everything smells amazing, but I'll take the chicken if you don't mind."

Kurt removed the dishes’ lids and passed the parmesan chicken to Blaine. They ate mostly in silence at first, just mentioning how good the meal was and what the weather had been like recently. It wasn't exactly what Kurt wanted, but he didn't know what he really wanted.

"My first was Eric Hampton," Blaine said unexpectedly.

"Excuse me?"

"You said you wanted to get to know me, right? And I know  _all_  about your first time." Blaine's eyes sparkled. "My first time was with Eric. I was seventeen, we went to high school together. It was sloppy and fast, but sweet."

"Oh." Kurt waited for a tinge of jealously, but it didn't come. He just felt grateful that Blaine was opening up to him. "Was he your boyfriend?"

"Briefly. I think both of us were just tired of feeling… alone. I grew up in a place much less open-minded than New York and we had both had trouble being out and proud. It was comforting to be with him, but it wasn't a great romance."

"Have you had many great romances in your life, Blaine?" Kurt asked with a smile. It was so easy to talk to Blaine and he wanted to know more.

"Not really. How about you?"

"No. I had my heart broken by my first boyfriend, but it healed  _surprisingly_  fast."

Blaine laughed at that and Kurt smiled. He really loved the sound of Blaine's laugh. "So I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that like me, you’re a transplant to New York City?"

"I am. But this is home now. Well, my dad will always be home too, but New York is where I was meant to be."

"I believe that," Blaine said, tilting his head and studying Kurt's face for a moment. "I bet once you got here it felt like spreading wings that up until that point you had had to hold small and cramped up all your life."

Kurt blinked at him, a little a lump forming in his throat. He'd never thought about it in those words, but yes, that was exactly how he'd felt. "You're kind of perceptive, you know that?" Kurt answered quietly.

Blaine shook his head, "No, it's just that's how I felt too. New York made me feel free."

Blaine poured them champagne and they finished their dinner talking a little about Kurt's time in NYADA and working at the fashion magazine now. He learned some more about Blaine too - he loved Times Square even though it was a tourist trap, and had a weakness for ice cream - but Blaine seemed to shy away from too much personal information. That was all right, though. Kurt had to remind himself that even though this felt like a date, a really good date, it wasn't. Kurt was paying Blaine to have sex with him. That's what this was. So if Blaine didn't want to tell Kurt his whole life story, that was all right.

They called to have someone clear up after dinner, and Blaine took a moment in the restroom with a small toiletry bag he'd brought to brush his teeth and run his hand through his curls. Kurt wondered if he should try lying seductively on the bed, ready for when Blaine came out. But after trying to find a good position a few times, he decided it wasn't going to work and he'd really like to brush his teeth as well anyway.

Blaine came out and Kurt took his turn. When he opened the bathroom door and joined Blaine in the bedroom again, he found that Blaine had succeeded where Kurt had failed.

The lights in the room were dimmed and Blaine was lying on the bed, his back casually resting against the headboard, shoes off and one leg bent up. He'd also taken off his suit jacket and unbuttoned his shirt all the way so it showed off his chest down to his belly. Kurt took in the sight of him, finding again that the sight of Blaine’s bare skin left him rather speechless.

"I was going to undress completely," Blaine said his voice low, "but I thought you might like to do that for me."

Kurt took a deep breath and decided to act more confident than he felt, because the idea of undressing Blaine was extremely appealing. He smiled in what he hoped was a seductive way and then slowly crawled up the bed, scooting Blaine's legs apart a little so he could kneel between them.

"I could do that." He placed his hand on Blaine's knee and then slowly ran it up his leg until he reached Blaine's belt and then he smoothly undid it and pulled it off. He leaned down and placed a kiss to Blaine's warm and solid chest, and  _god,_  Kurt wanted him so much. He continued to kiss down Blaine's body until he got to his pants. "I want you to teach me how to blow you," Kurt said as the thought popped into his head.

"Oh god, Kurt," Blaine groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

"Was that the wrong thing to say?"

"No. Absolutely not. I've just never had anyone ask me that before."

Kurt unzipped Blaine's pants but didn't break eye-contact with him as his face hovered over Blaine's lap. "If you don't want to, it’s okay."

"I want to," Blaine said immediately, pulling Kurt's face back up so he could kiss him and then slipping his hands under Kurt's shirt. They continued to kiss as Blaine pealed layers of clothing off Kurt and Kurt returned the favor until they were both left in just their underwear. Kurt looked at Blaine eagerly and then lowered himself down again, slowly pulling off Blaine's briefs to find him already half-hard.

"I never thought I want to do this as much as I do," Kurt whispered, desperately wanting to take Blaine in his mouth. "I've never done it, so don't make-fun of me if I'm not any good."

"It isn't possible for you to not be good." Blaine's eyes were dilated and his breath short. Kurt watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. He reached to the nightstand where he'd placed lube and some condoms and opened one up and Kurt watched as he expertly slid it on. Kurt was surprised to find he felt a little disappointed about that. Even though he knew why Blaine would insist on protection and appreciated it.

"What do I do?" Kurt asked.

Blaine took a deep breath before answering. "You should… you should hold the base with your hand, don't try to take it all in your first time. Um." He licked his lips and Kurt could tell he was trying to concentrate. Kurt nodded and wrapped his fingers around the base of Blaine's shaft and pumped a couple times, testing. Blaine trembled and Kurt let his confidence grow. He opened his mouth, very aware of keeping his teeth out of the way, and took Blaine in.

Blaine moaned, Kurt sunk down deeper and then came up again coughing.

Blaine's eyebrows shot up. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Too much too fast."

Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's hair, something Kurt never let anyone do, but then again Blaine had touched him in many ways no one else had. "Just take a little, use your tongue and your hand, no reason to choke on it, b-baby steps.” His voice shuddered as Kurt started following his directions, licking and circling with his tongue, up and down until it was slick enough for Kurt to also pump with his hand.

It wasn't the most elegant of blow jobs as Kurt followed all of Blaine's increasingly breathy instructions, and Kurt never did take him as deeply as he felt he wanted to, but it wasn't long before Blaine was moaning and sweaty and Kurt felt a deep satisfaction at knowing he was doing that to him.

Kurt was enjoying himself. He had loved it when Blaine had done this to him, but doing this for Blaine was just as good in its own way. It made Kurt feel powerful to make someone as sexy and desirable as Blaine start to fall apart because of his attentions. Kurt wasn't surprised he was getting hard himself. He was beginning to feel like he was getting pretty good at this, even if his jaw was a little sore and he had to keep wiping off his chin, when he felt Blaine's hands scrabbling to lift his head.

"Gonna – gonna come –  _Kurt_." Kurt pulled off and looked up at Blaine, panting and eyes fluttering closed.

"Should I stop?"

"Yeah... yeah…" Blaine licked his lips again. "You were… God, Kurt I told you you'd be good at that."

"But don't you want to finish?" Kurt asked, his hand lazily tracing up and down Blaine's thigh.

Blaine braced himself on his hands and scooted back up on the headboard, he'd slipped down as Kurt's hand and lips had worked him over. "Come here." He said and held out his hand. Kurt took it and Blaine pulled him in until their chests pressed together. He kissed his temple. "I want to come when you come."

Kurt felt a little dizzy at those words and he was already pretty hard in his briefs. "Okay."

"What do you want?" Blaine asked, his hand trailing softly up and down Kurt's back before they slid Kurt's underwear down and off him, Kurt kicking his legs a little to help.

"Like we did last time?" Kurt said his breath unsteady as his body melted against Blaine's.

"Do you want us to face each other? I know you mentioned that before."

"God, yes," Kurt replied, his stomach swooping even as he started to tremble. If this evening was meant to help him get over his time with Blaine, it seemed to be backfiring, but he couldn't really care about that right now.

Blaine ran his hand down Kurt's back again and reached for the lube on the nightstand. Kurt licked his lips and tried to think of what to do, what position to put himself in to make this happen. Blaine helped him by pressing softly against his chest. "Lie down on your back."

Kurt did as he was told and watched as Blaine grabbed a pillow and slid it behind Kurt's lower back and then squirted out and warmed some lube on his fingers. In moments, Blaine's long fingers were touching him, sliding underneath as Kurt spread his legs and lifted his hips. He wanted to watch Blaine, but found that soon his eyes fluttered closed. Blaine was so soft and gentle, like last time, stretching him open and taking his time, and Kurt felt like he was in a trance, rolling his hips and letting out little breathy moans.

After a while, the burn of Blaine stretching him subsided, and he opened his eyes when Blaine leaned over him and kissed his forehead. "Are you ready?" he asked, and Kurt blinked up at his intent face and smiled.

"Can I…" Kurt paused, trying to decide how to ask this. He was still lying on his back, his legs spread and folded, and he knew what was going to happen next, and as wonderful as it would be to have sex like this, with Blaine leaning over him, he had something else he wanted to try.

"Whatever you want," Blaine whispered.

Kurt pulled himself up to lean back on his elbows and then decided since he wasn't sure how to ask for what he wanted he'd just show Blaine. He sat up and Blaine did too, he glanced down to see Blaine hard and ready. Kurt took a deep breath and then looped an arm around Blaine's neck as he crawled into his lap, using his free hand to reach behind himself and hold onto Blaine's hard-on. He then lifted himself up on his knees and Blaine's eyes widened as Kurt positioned them.

"This okay?" Kurt asked, and couldn't help but smile at the look of awe forming on Blaine's face. "I… want to… to ride you." Kurt blushed to his ears as the words left his mouth, but was glad he'd actually voiced what he wanted.

"Yeah," Blaine said breathily. "Yeah, that'd be fine."

Kurt smiled and nodded and then slowly started lowering himself down until the tip of Blaine's length was sliding into him. He paused, and Blaine's strong hands came to his hips to steady him. Slowly, bit by bit, Kurt lowered himself all the way down, loving the deep groans that Blaine was making as he did. Once Blaine was inside him, making him feel full and oh so  _right,_  he tried rocking his hips a little. Blaine let out a whimper and held him tighter. It didn't take long for them to find a rhythm, Kurt rolling and lifting his hips, Blaine rocking into him.

Kurt kept his arms around Blaine, looking into his eyes and leaning in to kiss his lips and sometimes just throwing his head back as Blaine hit perfectly inside of him. They were both trembling and sweaty when their rhythm got off-beat, jerky and fast with need.

"Oh god!" Blaine cried, and Kurt knew Blaine was close. He moved to reach down for his own erection, but Blaine's hand got there first, pumping him in time with their increasingly frantic thrusts until Kurt's mouth fell open and his eyes shut tight. He forced himself to open them again and did just in time as Blaine let out a shout and a groan and tilted his head back, exposing the tan skin of his neck. " _Kurt! Oh god!_ "

At the sight of him, Kurt couldn't hold back any more. He came with a long cry, realizing too late that he hadn't put on a condom himself as he painted both his and Blaine's stomach.

Blaine moved in him a few more times until it was almost too much to take and then Blaine collapsed backwards, bringing Kurt down so that Kurt was lying on top of him, both of them panting and sharing each other's breath as Blaine slipped out of him.

They were still for a moment, until Kurt reached for the tissues on the nightstand and cleaned both himself and Blaine off. Blaine threw away his condom as Kurt rolled off of him, lying by his side and still panting hard.

"Wow," Kurt said after a long moment of just listening to Blaine's breathing.

Blaine chuckled and turned his head to face him. "Yeah."

"That was even better than last time."

Blaine nodded and then dove in to kiss Kurt's neck.

"Does it just get better and better every time?" Kurt asked, reaching up to wrap a hand around Blaine's strong bicep.

"No, not always," Blaine answered, his lips tickling Kurt's neck.

"I'm just lucky, then?"

Blaine mouthed over his neck one more time and then pulled back to look at him. "You are just that good, Kurt. Fast learner."

Kurt grinned "Oh, yeah? It had nothing to do with the fact that  _you_ are incredible at this?"

Blaine laughed and winked. "I'm just saying it isn't always like this." He rolled onto his back, staring happily up at the ceiling, his hand lying on his stomach, rising and falling with his breath. Kurt scooted to his side and propped his head up on a hand to look down at him.

"You're still the only person I've slept with," he said before he even thought about it. As soon as the words were out, he clamped his mouth closed and watched Blaine's face carefully for his reaction.

Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment before he spoke. "I'm honored, Kurt."

Kurt arched an eyebrow. "Really? You don't think that's a little pathetic? I mean, I came to you so I would have the confidence to be with someone else."

Blaine shook his head. "No. I don't think it’s pathetic at all. I mean, if you want to do this with someone else, I really hope you get that chance. And I hope that your time with that someone else is really good for you. But it’s your choice."

"I had a chance," Kurt said quietly, lifting a hand to lay it on Blaine's chest just because he wanted to touch him. "His name is Nick. We work together."

"Yeah?"

Kurt's fingers started tracing patterns on Blaine's skin, and he didn't look him in the face. "He's great. Nice. Talented. Handsome."

"What went wrong?"

"Nothing went wrong." Kurt finally looked up and met Blaine's eyes, relieved when he just found them curious and not judgmental. "I just… didn't want to."

"Then I'm glad you didn't."

"I just can't understand  _why_  I didn't want to. It’s so easy with you."

Blaine watched him for a moment and then lifted himself up so he was sitting with his back leaning against the headboard. He opened his arms and waited and Kurt smiled and scooted up so his head was resting on Blaine's chest as Blaine's arms settled around him. "When the time is right, you'll know. Maybe it will be with this guy Nick, maybe it will be someone else. But never rush yourself into something you aren't ready for or just don't want."

"My dad said, ' _Don't throw yourself around, like you don't matter. Because you matter_ ' when he gave me the sex talk. Not that people who have a lot of sex with a lot of people don't matter!" Kurt added quickly, pulling himself up to look at Blaine, who just smiled at him.

"My dad never gave me any talk. I learned it all on the internet and through experimenting… Your dad sounds great."

"Mmmm. He is." Kurt looked down at himself and Blaine, still naked and touching, legs tangled together, and decided not to talk about his dad anymore right then. He grabbed the comforter instead and pulled it up over them. Blaine lay down on the pillows and Kurt settled his cheek on Blaine's chest again.

Kurt yawned sleepily. "You matter too, Blaine," he said, and then let his eyes slip closed.

Kurt woke up earlier the next morning than he had last time, Blaine still asleep but hard as he rocked his hips a little in his sleep. Kurt was feeling incredibly horny himself so he woke Blaine up with a little shake to his shoulder and they both got off again, using just hands and mouths this time, before Blaine hopped into the shower.

He came out in a low-slung towel and with a bright smile. "Sorry, I have to go. It'd be nice to have breakfast with you."

"I understand." Kurt said, still in bed, the sheets covering his lower half. "I only booked you for the night."

"It isn't that," Blaine replied, leaning over the bed to kiss him, and Kurt let the soft feel of Blaine's lips warm him down to his toes. Blaine broke the kiss to smile at him. "I just have a busy day."

Kurt wondered what Blaine’s day was busy with. What did he do when not with clients? Because obviously, his life was more than just his job. Kurt was filled with a deep longing to know about that life. What were Blaine's hobbies? What were his friends like? What about New York had made Blaine feel free?

He didn't ask any of those questions. Instead, he waited until Blaine was dressed and ready to go before he got out of bed, slipping on a robe and walking him to the door. "Is it okay if I call you again?" Kurt asked, and Blaine's face immediately broke out in a smile.

"I hope you do."

"What if…" Kurt took a long breath and Blaine waited for him to gather his thoughts. "Do you have, like… regulars? People you see often?"

"Yes," Blaine nodded. "Are you thinking you'd like that kind of arrangement?"

"Yes," Kurt answered quickly, not able to keep the breathy excitement out of his voice.

"Call Shaunel again," Blaine said, and he was smiling so big his eyes were dancing. "She can set something up for you. There could even be a… um… a discount."

"Okay." Kurt nodded eagerly and kept smiling as Blaine kissed his cheek and then left the room. Kurt was smiling as he took a shower and as he got dressed for the day and as he caught a train back home. He was smiling all day, every time he thought about Blaine.


	6. Meeting You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello all! Thank you for all of your comments an for reading this little story that I accidentally started writing. I hope you like this part. If you leave me a comment please know it will make me grin like an idiot. :D

Kurt gripped Blaine's shoulders harder as Blaine rocked on top of him, Blaine's hand pumping him as their sweat-slick chests slid together. Kurt's brain was a roar of,  _more, more, more_  and  _yes Blaine please!_  as Blaine moaned and continued to move inside him.  
  
It didn't matter how many times they'd done this, every time with Blaine was like a revelation. Like something spiritual. And okay, maybe he was a little cheesy on the cusp of an orgasm, but  _god_  did this feel good.

Kurt clenched his eyes closed and threw his head back, letting out a shout as he came. Blaine thrust a few more times before he let out a deep moan that Kurt was familiar with at this point. It never failed to make him smile.

They both lay still for a moment, coming down from their climaxes, Kurt on his back on the bed, legs that had been wrapped around Blaine's waist slowing moving down and stretching out. Blaine heavy on top of him, a little too warm for comfort, but wonderful all the same.

Kurt felt blissful and happy, at peace with the world. The way he did every time with Blaine.

Kurt sighed a little as a feeling other than happiness started to creep in, a small fracture of disquiet that splintered through his joy. This feeling was something he was familiar with by now as well, the first little tinges of the melancholy that sometimes hit him after his time with Blaine.

Kurt couldn't really identify it at first. He wondered if it was guilt or regret. It didn't stop him from seeing Blaine, and after time Kurt was able to pinpoint the feeling. It was dread. It moved through his heart like little hairline fractures and caused Kurt to hold Blaine closer, harder against his chest as if the weight of Blaine's body could squeeze the troubling feeling right out of him.

"You okay?" Blaine asked, his voice still rough as he tipped his head up from Kurt's chest to look him in the eye.

"I'm fine," Kurt answered with a smile. Because he was fine, more than fine, he was so  _so_  happy. For now, at least.  
  
"Just fine?" Blaine asked, lifting himself up on his arms to hover over Kurt and look down at him. "I did something wrong if you are just  _fine_  after that." He smiled and it made his eyes sparkle and Kurt's heart beat a little faster.

"Oh, please," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "You know very well that you just made me come ‘till my toes curled."

Blaine chuckled at that, but it was cut off with an  _oof_  as Kurt pulled him down into a sloppy kiss.

"Thank you," Kurt said, his breath quiet against Blaine's skin.

"You don't have to thank me, Kurt. You aren't the only one with curled toes." Blaine kissed him again and then rolled off him, taking a moment to throw away his condom and clean off. Kurt did the same before Blaine rolled back on his side to snuggle up next to him.

"Thank you anyway," Kurt said, wrapping an arm around Blaine and playing a little with his sweaty hair, always a little curlier after sex.

These things had all become habit at this point, not old hat or boring, but there was comfortableness to their routine. The little seed of fear in Kurt's chest was a less comfortable part of their routine.

Kurt scheduled a night with Blaine once a week. Which was a little excessive, he knew, his bank account told him that regularly. He didn't want to change things, though, because being with Blaine was like a drug to him. He craved their time together. Not just because the sex was phenomenal - though it obviously was, he and Blaine could win gold medals if it had been a sport. It was more than that. Kurt had come to crave these times because of  _Blaine_. Sweet, kind, attentive Blaine. Who made him laugh as much as he made him shout.  
  
Blaine, who usually ate dinner with him first and would wake him up in the morning with a kiss to the cheek. Blaine, who never made him feel stupid for his lack of experience. Blaine, who was the most beautiful man he'd ever known but still looked at Kurt like Kurt was the gorgeous one. Just…  _Blaine_.  
  
It wasn't supposed to feel like this. Kurt knew it wasn't. An escort wasn't meant to feel like a boyfriend, or take the place of having an  _actual_  boyfriend. Kurt hired Blaine to have sex with him, it was his job. Kurt knew that, he  _knew_. That was why the dread unfurled inside of him sometimes, because this couldn't last forever. Someday, this idyllic little illusion Kurt had created would come to an end.

That frightened him because he would miss Blaine when he wasn't in his life anymore. He considered Blaine a friend in an odd unconventional way, and he hated the thought of losing that.

It also frightened him because of the sex. Or, more accurately, the lack of sex that Kurt had had with anyone other than Blaine. Kurt felt comfortable with sex after seeing Blaine once a week for a couple months now. The trouble was he still hadn't built up the courage to sleep with anyone else. What was wrong with him? Why was it that he never felt comfortable enough to have sex with someone else?

It meant that when things inevitably came to an end with Blaine, Kurt would be left where he’d started, as alone as he'd ever been.

"You're quiet tonight," Blaine said, breaking into Kurt's thoughts, his breath light puffs of air against Kurt's cheek.

Kurt turned to look at him. "I'm just thinking."

Blaine's gaze remained steady as he moved a hand up to cup Kurt's neck, rubbing his thumb lightly against his skin. "Is everything okay at work? I know you had that big project coming up."

Blaine's concern made Kurt's stomach swoop. This couldn't be the way it normally was with escorts. They didn't always care so much, did they? This had to be something more… or had Kurt built it up in his head? This was the Blaine he was going to miss when things couldn't go on between them anymore. This was the Blaine Kurt considered a friend.

Kurt shook his head in response. "No, work is all right. I'm just…." Kurt trailed off, not knowing how to say,  _I'm thinking about how this is all going to end between us._

"Pensive," Blaine finished for him.

Kurt nodded and then smiled as Blaine pulled him in for a kiss. He ran his hand down Blaine's firm chest and felt him shiver. This thing between them didn't seem one-sided. He really believed that Blaine enjoyed their time together as much as he did. If Blaine's physical reactions were any indication, he did.  
  
Plus, Blaine had started talking about himself more. Kurt knew he'd be in an acapella group in high school ( _Oh my god, that meant he could sing! What Kurt wouldn't give to hear him sing_ ), that he had a pet dog named Fiyero and that he once stood in the rain for hours to get tickets to a nearly sold-out Lady Gaga concert. Those were just some of the small but wonderful things Kurt was learning about Blaine.

Blaine was the kind of guy Kurt would have wanted to date if he'd met him in a different way. The troubling thought was, would he have given Blaine a shot? Or shoot him down like he had Nick and other people who'd been interested in him in the past? Why was Kurt so... so… sexually, and even sometimes emotionally,  _distant_  from people?

Blaine bumped his forehead off Kurt's and yawned deeply. "Sleep," He sighed. "Sleep cures pensiveness."

"Does it?" Kurt asked with a fond smile.

"Mmmhmm." Blaine's eyelids fluttered closed, and Kurt knew he wouldn't get any more conversation out of him tonight. He didn't mind, he let his fingertips gently smooth down Blaine's cheek and then held him close and waited for sleep to overtake his troubling thoughts.

They often fooled around a little in the morning before one or the other of them had to go, but Kurt wasn't able to shake his unsettled feeling. They ended up just making out together under the covers while the morning light shone through the hotel curtains, before Blaine had to get up and go shower.

Kurt got dressed. He'd shower at home - it was Saturday and he didn't have much planned. Blaine came out with a smile, running his fingers through his wet curls, and kissed Kurt by the door like he always did.

"I'll see you next week, right?" Blaine asked, and his eyes studied Kurt's face intently. He never asked that, they always just left that as an unspoken assumption, but something in Blaine's face almost seemed worried.

"Of course," Kurt answered, looping his arms around Blaine's neck and kissing him deeply. Because despite what might happen down the road, Kurt was determined to enjoy Blaine's presence while he could.

* * *

Rachel had a rare Saturday afternoon off, so the two of them were supposed to spend it together. Kurt sat in a coffee shop he'd never been to before and waited for his friend to show up. The problem was she was already 15 minutes late. Kurt was frustrated and also a little worried.   
  
Rachel was very New York savvy after living here for years, but Kurt still couldn't help but fret over her at times. He sent her a text to see if she was on her way and looked out the coffee shop window to a cute little book store across the street,  _Fairytale Press._  Kurt smiled at the name as his phone buzzed with an incoming message.

_Kurt, I am so sorry. Rehearsal went long. I'm on my way!_

Kurt shook his head at the text. At least she was all right. He stood, tossed his finished cup of coffee in the trash and texted Rachel back.

_I'll be across the street at the bookstore._

A little silver bell chimed as Kurt walked into the shop, and he was immediately greeted with the charming smell of rose oil and old books. The mix of scents hit some kind of memory in his mind, but he couldn't place it and didn't think about it long. Instead, he stood at the front of the bookshop, completely enchanted by what he saw.

The shop had warm wood-paneled walls and twinkle lights hung around them. The room had a tall ceiling and a spiral iron staircase that twisted up to a loft with more books.

The whole place was crammed with books, new and old. It felt warm and cozy, and Kurt immediately loved it. There was a corner off to one side with big plush chairs so you could hole yourself up and read, while classical music was playing softly in the background. Kurt looked around, and the only thing this place seemed to be missing was someone that worked there.

That was okay, though, Kurt was just browsing anyway. He wandered through the aisles of books until he found one that had old antique volumes locked behind the glass. He was skimming over the titles when he heard someone come up behind him.

"Sorry, I was in the back and didn't hear you come in. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Kurt's heart skipped at the warm and familiar voice and his mouth feel open as he turned around. There standing before him was Blaine,  _his Blaine_ , except this was a version of Blaine he had never seen before. Instead of the fashionable suit and simple dress shirt Blaine usually wore, he was in a brightly colored plaid button-up, pink, white, yellow and teal - with a yellow bowtie and blue pants. Pants that were rolled up to the ankle and worn with boat shoes but no socks. The outfit should have been ridiculous, but instead, on Blaine, it looked… perfect. Like this was exactly how Blaine was meant to look.

They stood staring at each other wordlessly for a moment before another voice interrupted Kurt's surprise.

"Oh my god, Kurt, I can't believe how late I am." Blaine had hardly blinked and didn't look away from Kurt now, but Kurt forced himself to glance back to see Rachel Berry coming up behind him. "But look at this place. What a great find! It's adorable."

Rachel walked to Kurt and gave him a hug, which he returned without thought, before she seemed to notice Blaine standing there. A pile of books in his arms and a stunned look on his face.

"Oh, hi," Rachel said. "Do you work here?"

Blaine finally pulled his eyes away from Kurt to look at Rachel and he smiled at her before nodding. "Yes, I do."

"Well, this is an absolutely lovely store."

"Thank you," Blaine said, and glanced quickly back at Kurt. Kurt was still a little bit in shock. Running into Blaine like this was such a surprise. He looked so different, and he worked in a bookshop? It was like Kurt has walked through a mirror into an alternate reality.

"Did I… interrupt something here?" Rachel asked in confusion. And Kurt finally shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Oh no... No... I just… It's just that I know him," Kurt said before he even thought over the words. He couldn't stand there and pretend not to know someone whose hands had been all over his naked skin that very morning.

"Really?" Rachel said, with a bright smile that started to slip as no one said anything else for a long moment.

"Hi. I'm Blaine," Blaine broke the silence, and he shuffled the books in his arms trying to reach a hand out, but when that didn't work he settled on placing them down on a nearby step-stool.

"Yes, sorry." Kurt cleared his throat and made himself smile. "Rachel, this is my… friend Blaine. Blaine this is-"

"Rachel Berry." Blaine smiled and shook her hand. "Kurt has told me about you. And I saw you in the Gigi revival last year. You were fantastic." Blaine's grin covered his whole face as he spoke to Rachel and made Kurt want to press a kiss to his lips. Which he normally would be able to do when they were together, but that would be completely inappropriate right now.

"Thank you!" Rachel beamed at the compliment. "I'm afraid I haven't heard about you yet, though. How do you two know each other?"

She glanced back and forth between Blaine and Kurt, and Blaine looked at Kurt expectantly. Which of course he would. Blaine would never just blurt out to a friend of Kurt's, who’d never heard of Blaine, that he was the escort that Kurt paid for regularly.

"Blaine is a friend of a friend," Kurt landed on, giving Blaine an apologetic smile.

"Well, no wonder Kurt wanted to wait here in the bookstore. I would, too." Rachel seemed completely oblivious to the tension that was hanging in the air as she continued talking, telling Blaine how charming the bookstore was and that she would have to stop by more often and then she mentioned that she and Kurt were going to get dinner later, and if he was off work, he should join them.

Kurt just stood there as if he was having an out-of-body experience, whereas Blaine, after his initial surprise, seemed completely at ease meeting the friend of one of his clients. Rachel excused herself to use the restroom, saying she had rushed over right after rehearsal, and Kurt was left alone with Blaine again. The absence of Rachel's chatter making the silence between them increasingly loud.

"You work at a book store," Kurt finally spoke up, as if working in a bookstore was the most unusual thing in the world.

Blaine nodded. "Day job, but you figured that out somehow."

It took Kurt a minute to realize what Blaine meant by that. " _No_ ," Kurt said quickly. "No, I didn't know you worked here. I came in by chance. I didn't stalk you here, I promise. I respect your private life, really, I do." Panic was welling inside of Kurt. If Blaine thought he'd been poking around to find out about him when Blaine had just recently started opening up more, it could ruin everything.

"It's okay, Kurt," Blaine said, placing a hand on his arm. "Really, I don't mind that you know." He shrugged. "So this is  _Fairytale Press_ ," he said, holding his hands out and doing a fast little twirl on the spot, "where I spend most of my day time hours, which is why I can't stay in bed with you in the mornings even when I wish I could."

Kurt blushed red all the way to his ears at those words. It seemed so odd to be talking about the things they did together at the hotel in the bright sunlight of this little shop. "You aren't on the clock, Blaine," Kurt said teasingly. "You don't have to flatter me."

Blaine's smile instantly dropped, and only then did Kurt realize how insulting his words sounded. He hadn't meant it like that.

"It wasn't flattery."

"Oh god, Blaine. I know. I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm messing this all up. I never expected to run into you like this."

"It's fine." Blaine stuffed his hands in his pockets and shot Kurt a smile that didn't seem to reach his eyes. "I'll tell Rachel no to dinner and we can continue on like this never happened."

"I don't want that." Kurt reached out and placed a hand on Blaine's arm. Kurt's heart was pounding in his chest. This was it. This was his chance to have Blaine as a part of his life outside of their pre-arranged nights together. A way to see him without  _booking_  him. "I would  _love_  to have you join us for dinner… but only if it wouldn't make you uncomfortable." Kurt smiled and tried not to show his nerves.  _Please say yes, please say yes._

Blaine licked his lips and seemed to be thinking hard. "I get off at 6:00."

Kurt beamed at him, he couldn't help it. Blaine noticed the grin and shook his head, his own eyes sparkling.

"Great! Great! Yeah… That should work," Kurt enthused. They were smiling dopily at each other when Rachel came back. They all chatted briefly and then set up a place to meet later that evening after Blaine got off work.

Kurt gave Blaine a hug before he left and then turned and waved at him at the door, still smiling from ear to ear.

Once they were outside, Rachel linked arms with him. "So, Kurt, tell me  _all_  about Blaine, and why you haven't told me before about this guy you are obviously  _crazy_  about."

* * *

Blaine stood frozen in place, watching Kurt and his friend Rachel leave. He saw them link arms through the window before continuing down the street. He blinked a few times and then drew in a deep breath.

What had just happened?

Kurt Hummel had just walked into the bookshop where he worked. That was what just happened. Out of the blue. One minute, life made sense and the next, he was staring at Kurt over an armful of books and felt like he'd been smacked in the face with cold water.

Blaine looked down and saw that his hands were trembling. This could have been a disaster. Kurt in his designer jeans and with his sashay walk and his gorgeous eyes and his sweet smile. There in the  _Fairytale Press_  with his friend, having a normal afternoon in his normal life and then…  _screech,_  he happened to run into the prostitute he frequented. God, that must have been a rude awakening for Kurt.  
  
For a moment, Blaine had known it was all over. This would be the end of his hired dates with Kurt. That happened sometimes. Eventually a regular tapered off or just abruptly stopped seeing him. That was part of the business, and it never really phased him. In that moment though, looking at Kurt's shocked eyes and seeing him try to explain things to his friend, Blaine had thought,  _well, I'm never going to see him again_. And the thought had hurt like a tight squeeze inside his chest.  
  
It shouldn't feel this way. He'd given himself the  _all things come to an end_  pep talk just that morning. Kurt had been quiet the whole time they'd been together and Blaine had taken that as a sign the end was coming. He kept telling himself it didn't matter, things couldn't keep going on with Kurt this way, but it  _did_  matter to him, it mattered a lot.  
  
It shouldn't  _feel_  this way. Blaine had fucked this up so badly.

He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. The store was slow this afternoon, and Blaine had been doing some reorganizing, but he went to the front desk now and just plopped down on a stool. He needed to think, to figure out what was going on inside of him. Why the deep ache when he thought he was losing Kurt as a client?

 _Because you haven't treated him like a client for weeks and weeks now,_  a little voice in his head said. If he was being honest, he'd stopped treating Kurt solely as a client the first time he'd met him and Kurt had so fearfully and with eyes full of trust told him he was still a virgin.

Of course, Blaine had really let things get out of hand since then. How many of the escort agency's and his own personal rules had he broken for Kurt Hummel? A lot. Quite a lot.

He didn't regret it. Someday, he'd meet Kurt at the hotel and they would spend a wonderful night together and he wouldn't know it at the time, but it would be their  _last_  night together. Someday, Kurt would disappear from his life. He'd known that from the start. He still didn't regret investing himself more than he probably professionally should.

Now that his heartrate was returning to normal, Blaine found that he was unconsciously smiling. He was having dinner with Kurt this evening. With Kurt and his friend Rachel, because Kurt had seemed so desperate for him to say yes. Because it seemed Kurt wanted to actually spend time with him outside of their prearranged hook-ups. Maybe things wouldn't end the way Blaine had been prepared for them to.

Because maybe Kurt actually liked him? As a person? Maybe?

Blaine covered his smile with his hand as he leaned an elbow against the counter. This could end badly, but at this moment he couldn't even bring himself to care.


	7. Getting To Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello lovelies! Have I mentioned how much fun I am having writing this story? I feel like all the smut is out of my wheelhouse, but still I'm enjoying it. :) I hope you are too, and if you are please feel free to leave me a comment, they are very motivating .
> 
> Also, I changed Blaine's canon timeline a little for this to suit what I needed. Just FYI. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Kurt sat nervously at the restaurant, waiting for Blaine. He kept polishing his silverware and laying it out again, adjusting the placement of the water glasses by a fraction of an inch and then smoothing his hands down his pants. He was nearly as nervous as the first time he sat waiting for Blaine in the hotel room, and that had been sex. This was just dinner.  
  
Except it felt like more than just dinner. He was getting to know Blaine, the real Blaine, outside of the odd relationship they'd set up. And Rachel was here, she was outside on the phone talking to Jesse at the moment, but soon Kurt would be having dinner with his best friend and the escort he'd been hiring for months without his best friend having any idea.  
  
This was going to go terribly, terribly wrong.  
  
"Hi, Kurt!"  
  
Kurt startled and looked up to see Blaine standing by the table, his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels and smiled down at him.  
  
Kurt's nerves instantly settled a little at the sight of him. "Blaine!" He stood and gave Blaine a hug.  
  
"Is Rachel not joining us?" Blaine asked as he took his seat.  
  
"Oh, she's outside talking to her boyfriend on the phone. She'll be in soon."  
  
Blaine nodded at that, folding his hands on the table. "So what are we telling her exactly? I don't want to say anything wrong this evening."  
  
Kurt sighed and bit his lip. He hated that Rachel didn't know the truth about their relationship, but he also didn't feel prepared to tell her. She wouldn't take it well. "Um… She thinks we met through someone I knew at NYADA."  
  
Blaine nodded again, and Kurt wondered if he was imagining the tightness in Blaine's jaw. "Okay, that works."  
  
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, not even sure what he was apologizing for. Asking Blaine to lie? Being ashamed of how he really knew him? Though he  _wasn't_  ashamed of that, it probably looked that way. "You can go if you want to."  
  
Blaine looked up from his clasped hands and raised his eyebrows.  
  
"I'm giving you an out if you don't want to be here. I mean,  _I_  want you to be here, but it's okay if this is weird for you. You can go, no judgement, and it won't change… anything else."  
  
Blaine reached over the table and laid one of his hands over Kurt's. "I don't want an out. I think this could be fun."  
  
He was still smiling and holding Kurt's hand when Rachel joined them. She flounced onto her chair with a dramatic sigh. "Well, I was trying to get Jesse to join us, but he is being difficult." She noticed their hands together, and a little smirk curled on her lips before Blaine quickly moved his hand away. "Blaine." Rachel beamed at them. "Tell me  _all_  about yourself!"  
  
Kurt grimaced, but couldn't help but feel a little excited. He really did want to know more about Blaine.  
  
Blaine was easy and self-assured, smooth and charming like the Blaine Kurt had gotten to know the past few months. He was also a little dorky (adorably so), laughing at his own jokes and nervously rubbing the back of his neck and he kept smiling so much that his eyes crinkled up and Kurt couldn't get enough of just looking at him.  
  
They ordered, and Blaine told them both about finding the job at  _Fairytale Press_  shortly after he moved to New York, and that the owner had been really good to him. She even let him live in the little apartment behind the store. He'd come to New York with dreams of being on the stage, but had given that up… He didn't say why, and Kurt longed to ask him.  
  
Blaine also mentioned that he was originally from Ohio and Kurt's jaw dropped.  
  
"Wait... What? You're from  _Ohio_? How did that never come up when you know  _I'm_  from Ohio?"  
  
Blaine shrugged. "I don't really talk about Ohio much," he answered quickly, and there was something sad behind his eyes that Kurt wanted to kiss away. He didn't.  
  
Blaine didn't mention working for the escort agency, but that wasn't a surprise. He also seemed endlessly interested in hearing about Rachel's career and how Kurt went from wanting to be a full-time performer to working in fashion and auditioning on the side. They sat and talked at the restaurant well after their dinner plates were cleared, and Kurt couldn't help the smile on his face or the deep feeling of satisfaction in his chest.  
  
This whole time he'd known Blaine, in the back of Kurt's mind he'd worried he didn't know the  _real_  Blaine, worried that maybe Blaine was just putting on an act of what he thought Kurt wanted. Kurt could see some differences between this easy-going bow-tie-wearing Blaine and the always sexy suit-clad Blaine he'd come to know, but he suspected that was more situational than Blaine acting like someone he wasn't. Knowing that the Blaine he’d come to care about was the real him,  _plus_  finding out there was so much more to Blaine was an unexpected pleasure.  
  
The easy conversation between the three of them only ended when Rachel announced she should be getting home to spend some time with Jesse. They paid and left the restaurant where Rachel said her goodbyes.  
  
"This was nice," Kurt said as they stood under a streetlamp, and Kurt watched Blaine as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet. How could he be so effortlessly sexy and adorably bashful at the same time?  
  
Blaine smiled. "I really had a good time, but…"  
  
Kurt's heart froze for a split second. "But?"  _But we shouldn't have done it. But we can't do this again. But I don't think I can see you anymore?_  
  
"But what this evening really needs is dessert, don't you think?"  
  
"Dessert?" Kurt said, his voice a little higher than normal as he tried to hold back his excitement.  
  
"There's a gelato place a couple of blocks down that's open pretty late. What do you say?"  
  
Kurt laughed happily. "I  _love_  gelato."  
  
"Perfect." Blaine grinned at him.  
  
Kurt couldn't help his matching smile. "Perfect."

* * *

After dinner and dessert on Saturday, Kurt had casually (he hoped it had been casual) asked Blaine if he'd like to hang out again later in the week, so they ended up going to the movies on Tuesday and then grabbing lunch on Thursday. It really was turning out to be the best week ever.

  
It was different spending time with Blaine outside of his role as an escort. They talked more, which was wonderful, but they also didn't touch. There was an occasional brush of hands and Blaine had held his elbow for support once when someone bumped into him, but otherwise there seemed to be an unspoken boundary that neither of them were crossing.  
  
While Kurt itched to hold Blaine's hand or lean in and give him a kiss, he didn't feel like he could. Still, it was all right, because just spending time with Blaine was turning out to be amazing.  
  
"I know you don't like to talk about Ohio," Kurt said over lunch at a little bistro near his office. "But can I ask where in Ohio you're from?"  
  
Blaine smiled at him and nodded as he finished his bite of a roast beef sandwich. "Westerville."  
  
Kurt's eyes widened. "That’s so close to Lima. And you were in an acapella group? How did we never meet?"  
  
"I wasn't in the Warblers for long."  
  
" _The Warblers_?" Kurt almost stood up from his chair. "We competed against them. I almost went to spy on them once!”  
  
Blaine's look of surprise mirrored Kurt's own. "We must have just missed meeting each other.”  
  
Kurt shook his head. "And to think we didn't meet until we both made it out of Ohio. Was it really hard for you there?"  
  
Kurt couldn't help think of how difficult his high school years in Ohio were and how much better they could have been if he'd know someone like Blaine, who was going through the same thing.  
  
"It was pretty… difficult," Blaine answered slowly. "When I came out, my parents basically ignored it, never said anything against it, but… acted like it wasn't true. That is, until my sophomore year in high school, when things got a little…"  
  
He paused and Kurt held his breath, waiting for what Blaine was leading up to.  
  
"Things got a little violent."  
  
"Oh god, Blaine." Kurt's heart ached in his chest. "You were hurt?"  
  
Blaine nodded again and took a deep breath. "It was at a dance. I took another boy and things got a little ugly... At least after that, my parents had to stop pretending they didn't know what I was,  _who_  I was. That's when they sent me to a private school that had a zero tolerance policy. Things were better there. I was safer at least."  
  
Kurt watched Blaine's face, so sad and a little lost, and he wondered how much better things had really been for him at the private school. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Blaine shrugged and smiled like it really didn't matter. "I'm in New York now. It all turned out all right."  
  
_Except you wanted to be on the stage and you're an escort now,_  Kurt thought, but didn't say it aloud. Something hadn't gone as planned. Kurt thought back to his own hardships and wondered what would have become of him if he hadn't had the security of Glee club and his dad who supported him unconditionally. Things would have turned out differently.  
  
Kurt let himself cross that invisible border between them just for a moment as he slid his hand over the table to squeeze Blaine's. "I'm really glad you're here. That we are both here where we belong."  
  
Blaine smiled at him and seemed to relax. "Me too."

* * *

Blaine stood outside the hotel room and shook his shoulders out, hoping to shake out his nerves as well. He looked down at his perfectly pressed suit and felt idiotic. He shouldn't have worn this - never had his suit felt more like a costume. It wasn't a costume; he loved this suit; he looked good in this suit, but Kurt had seen him in his everyday clothes and now he felt a little silly trying to pull off the "debonair escort" look.  
  
_Just open the door!_ He chided himself.  
  
The suit wasn't the problem. The problem was that Kurt knew him now. After all the intimate things they had done together behind the walls of this hotel, none of them felt as intimate as the time he'd spent with Kurt this week, just talking and laughing like old friends. Something bittersweet bubbled up in his chest at the thought. There was no denying it now: he was definitely developing strong feelings for Kurt. Kurt, his client. Kurt, the guy who paid Blaine to fuck him.  
  
No. Not like that. It was never like that with them.  
  
Kurt had hired him for this evening, even if it had been set up before they started spending time together. However, now that they had started hanging out outside of these sessions everything felt… off. Fragile, somehow.  
  
Blaine wasn't going to be the one to end these times together, though, not when he wanted to spend time with Kurt so much. Not when Kurt was in his head all day and all he wanted was to see him. To hear is voice. To touch him. To feel Kurt's skin and taste his lips.  
  
Blaine squared his shoulders and knocked to announce himself as he slid in his keycard and then opened the door. As soon as he walked in, he was hit with the pleasant scent of pasta in the air. Kurt had ordered in for them again. This was normal. Blaine had done this numerous times, and tonight didn't have to be any different.  
  
"Hi, Blaine." Kurt stood by the table as if dinner had just been laid out. His hands were held in front of him and he was bouncing on his feet a little. An adorable smile was on his face, making him look younger than his 26 years. Something twisted deep in Blaine's belly, and he took an involuntary step forward.  
  
"I ordered Eggplant Pomodoro for us tonight," Kurt said, glancing at the table. "I haven't had it before, but it sounded really good and-"  
  
Blaine didn't get to hear the rest of Kurt's sentence as he rushed forward and held onto Kurt's arms, pulling him in and kissing him deeply. He wanted Kurt so much. It had been stirring in him all week - the need to be touching him, kissing him.  
  
Kurt gasped into the kiss, but then gripped Blaine by the waist, holding him close as Blaine moved his hands to cup Kurt's face. Kurt let out a helpless sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper, and it shook Blaine out of his single-minded desire.  
  
"Sorry," Blaine said, forcing himself to pull away from Kurt's lips. "Sorry."  
  
Kurt blinked at him with wide eyes, his cheeks perfectly rosy and his lips plump. "I'm not sorry." Kurt pulled him in again desperately and backed up until they were both toppling down onto the bed.  
  
" _God, Blaine,"_  Kurt panted, his hands scrambling over Blaine, tugging at his clothes and pulling them off as if he couldn't get Blaine undressed fast enough.  
  
And Blaine really shouldn't have worried about what he was wearing, because in a matter of minutes, it was nothing but a pile of his clothes and Kurt's clothes jumbled on the floor.  
  
"I've been…" Kurt gasped out, "Thinking about… this…. all week."  
  
Blaine let out a low groan, a rumble that fell from his lungs with the force of the need he was feeling. Kurt was on his back beneath him, naked and stretched out, and when Blaine propped himself up on his arms to look at him, a shiver ran down his own body. Kurt was gorgeous. Smooth skin and broad shoulders and toned muscles. Blaine had never felt like this about a client before, he'd never really felt quite this way about  _anyone_  before, and it was frightening. He knew it was dangerous to feel this way about someone who was paying for his services. He just didn't care.  
  
"You're beautiful," Blaine whispered, and enjoyed the flush that spread over Kurt's face and chest.  
  
"You're one to talk," Kurt smiled, reaching up and pulling Blaine down into a messy kiss.  
  
Blaine deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide against Kurt's before gently tugging on Kurt's bottom lip with his teeth. Blaine rocked downward and felt Kurt hard against him. Kurt trembled and pressed the pads of his fingers more firmly against Blaine's skin, as if he couldn't possibly press in close enough.  
  
Blaine sighed and let his lips slowly travel down Kurt's long pale neck to suck lightly on his pulse point as Kurt trembled and panted beneath him. "I love the taste of you," Blaine said, any filter he normally made himself keep long gone. "I love the way you smell."  
  
Kurt moaned.  
  
"I love the sounds you make."  
  
Kurt reached a hand to the back of Blaine's head and curled his fingers in Blaine’s hair as Blaine continued to work over his body, down one arm and up his chest and then his lips again and then down, down to the inside of Kurt's smooth thighs.  
  
Kurt was squirming and kicking under him, an unraveled mess, and Blaine loved it, loved that he could make Kurt feel this way.  
  
The thing was that Blaine really liked sex, and he knew he was good at it, but with Kurt it was more than just sex. It was more than just motions that felt good and ultimately led to release. With Kurt he always  _wanted_  so much, and he needed Kurt to feel the same way, so Blaine did everything he could to make Kurt fall apart. It seemed to be working particularly well tonight.  
  
"B-Blaine," Kurt huffed out, trying to get his attention. Blaine lifted his face from its position between Kurt's legs and looked up at him, flushing pink and with sweat at his temples, his eyes a bright ring of blue and blown dark, looking down at him. "I want… I want…" He licked his lips and looked hesitant.  
  
Blaine knew that Kurt had experienced most of his firsts with him, a thought that gave Blaine goosebumps, and he knew whatever Kurt was going to ask for now, he'd say yes.  
  
"What is it?" Blaine said, moving back up to drop a kiss to Kurt's lips.  
  
"What if we … did things the other way around this time?"   
  
  
Blane scrunched his brows in confusion as Kurt broke eye-contact and blushed. It took a moment, but soon, realization settled over him.  
  
"You want to top," Blaine said with a smile.  
  
"Well, when  _you_  say it it sounds reasonable. I couldn't think of a way to word it."  
  
"I'm fine with whatever you want, Kurt."  
  
"Are you sure? Because it's always wonderful the other way and if you…"  
  
Blaine interrupted him with a kiss. "I promise I wouldn't say it was okay if it wasn't. In fact, it sounds…" Blaine's eyes slid closed at the thought of Kurt inside of him. " _Kurt_ … Just trust me when I say yes."  
  
"It's only that I know that is probably how you do it with your other clients and I don't want it to be… like them."  
  
"Kurt, you are  _nothing_  like my other clients. In fact, let's not even talk about them."  
  
Kurt nodded emphatically. "Yeah, good idea. Sorry I even mentioned it."  
  
Blaine kissed him again, grabbing one of Kurt's hands and leading it back so that Kurt was gripping his ass.  
  
Kurt gasped and bucked up against him. "I don't know how to do this for you," he breathed.  
  
"That's fine. You've always been an incredibly fast learner."  
  
Kurt reached a hand up and smoothed his fingertips down Blaine's face with a feather-light touch. "I don't want to hurt you."  
  
"You won't," Blaine answered softly, locking eyes with him and then kissing him so deeply Blaine forgot for a moment what they were doing. When they broke apart, gasping for breath, Blaine got up to grab everything they would need.  
  
He came back to the bed, and Kurt was sitting up, his eyes round and watching him intently. "I'm so glad I met you," Kurt sighed, and the words made a shiver run down Blaine's back. "I hope you know that you are so much more than just… just an escort to me."  
  
Blaine knelt on the bed and crawled up to Kurt, holding his face in his hands. "I do know that," Blaine said, even as his heart leapt in his chest. He kissed him sweetly and then put the bottle of lube in his hands. "I'll tell you what to do."  
  
Kurt nodded and his lips twitched up in a smile. Kurt took things slowly, very tentative at first, so much so that Blaine had to roll over from lying on his stomach to lock eyes with Kurt and assure him it was all right to be a little more forceful.  
  
Kurt found his rhythm eventually, and soon Blaine was gripping the pillow beneath him and swearing.  
  
Kurt froze. "Are you okay?"  
  
"God,  _Kurt_. Please, please don't stop."  
  
Kurt leaned over and kissed his shoulder and then continued. Soon Blaine felt ready, more than ready, he felt like if he didn't have Kurt right then, he'd just shake apart. Kurt carefully stacked another pillow under Blaine's hips and then leaned his long, lithe form over him. Blaine could feel Kurt hard behind him, brushing against his hot skin. The contact made him moan. He could also feel Kurt trembling and he turned his head to look at him. Kurt was flushed and sweating and looked eager, and Blaine realized how taxing it must have been on Kurt to work him open so slowly. His heart swelled and he reached for one of Kurt's hands.  
  
Kurt braced himself and started lowering himself down, again so slowly and cautiously, pausing and asking Blaine if he was all right before carefully moving again. Once he was fully sheathed, he leaned over Blaine's body, and Blaine kept a firm grip on his hand. Kurt started rocking and Blaine rolled his hips to meet him. Kurt let out a startled cry and Blaine smiled into the pillow, knowing that this was the first time Kurt had ever felt this way.  
  
They were both  _desperately_  needy, and once they started moving together, Blaine knew it wasn't going to last long. That was okay. He needed this release. Blaine moved against Kurt and Kurt thrust forward, one hand clasped in Blaine's, the other gripping his hip. Kurt was whimpering as he let go of Blaine's waist to reach around and begin to pump him the way Blaine had done for him so many times.  
  
It didn't take long for Kurt's whimpers to turn into shouts, and then, with a long cry of " _Blaine_!", Kurt came.  
  
Hearing his name fall from Kurt's lips as he climaxed was enough to topple Blaine over the edge. He didn't think Kurt had ever called his name out like that before, and it drove him wild. He called Kurt's name as well and gripped the pillow so hard he was lucky he didn't rip it.  
  
Blaine lay still on the bed once he'd come down, Kurt draped heavily over his back, and he could feel him quivering. Blaine moaned and rolled over, keeping hold of Kurt and gasping a little as Kurt slid out of him. Soon he was on his back with Kurt collapsed on him, both of them breathing together and not willing to move yet.  
  
"That was different," Kurt finally managed to say.  
  
"A good different?"  
  
"Blaine, I'm barely breathing right now, what do you think?"  
  
Blaine laughed and placed a kiss to Kurt's head. Kurt scooted away and took a moment to clean up before sliding back down to pillow his head on Blaine's chest again. They were both peacefully quiet for a moment, Kurt rubbing his fingers over Blaine's chest, making him feel relaxed and sleepy, before he spoke again. "Why did you give up your dream of being on the stage?"  
  
Blaine opened his eyes, which had slid shut, and stared up at the ceiling. That question came out of the blue. Then again, Kurt had probably wanted to ask it for days. Blaine's sex-drunk mind couldn't think of anything to do but answer. And really, he didn't mind Kurt knowing this story. He trusted him.  
  
"I didn't give it up as much as… it became impractical."  
  
Kurt moved up so they were face to face. "What do you mean?"  
  
Blaine looked at Kurt's eyes, so eager and open, like he just wanted to know Blaine. How could he resist that? "I grew up with money. I was very lucky in that I never worried how I was going to pay for college or pursue my dreams. And then all of that changed. My junior year in high school, my father's business collapsed and we lost almost everything. I was only able to keep attending Dalton because my older brother helped pay for it. When I came to New York, I was determined to work hard and pay my way through college. I was at NYU for a year before I dropped out."  
  
Blaine paused, he had rolled to his side to face Kurt but he rolled back to his back again, not able to meet Kurt's gaze. "It was too much, working full time and the high scholastic standards at NYU. I was fortunate with my job at  _Fairytale Press_ and I know other people work full-time and go to school… but I just wasn't making ends meet. I dropped out, I always planned on going back again later... Ms. Anna, who owns the bookstore, let me live in the apartment behind it for a low rent. Even so, saving money in New York is nearly impossible."  
  
Blaine stopped talking and licked his lips. He'd never really told this whole story to anyone. Not even his brother knew about his two jobs.  
  
"And that's when you became an escort?" Kurt prompted.  
  
"Yes." He turned to look at Kurt again, needing to gauge his reaction, but Kurt just smiled a little at him, no judgement in his eyes.  
  
"Weren't you scared at first? Doing this?"

"Not really. It happened kind of by accident. I was out at a bar one night, and some guy started hitting on me and then offered to pay me if I went back to his place with him. I was already into him and I probably would have gone home with him regardless… and I needed the money. It went like that for a while, word got around about me. Eventually, I decided to work for an agency because it is safer that way."  
  
"Safer?" Kurt asked, his brows furrowing in concern.  
  
"They know where I am and who I'm with and I check in with them." Blaine watched as Kurt worried his lip and thought through this new information.  
  
"Have you ever had something bad happen with a client?" Kurt asked, and his voice was barely a whisper. Like he couldn't even bear the thought.  
  
"I've met some real jerks and had a couple of close calls, but nothing really bad."  
  
Kurt sat up on his elbow to look at him. "I don't like that. I  _really_  don't like that." His voice shook a little and his eyes were misty. Blaine reached up to hold his wrist and pull him back down, kissing his temple and then his lips.  
  
"It's fine, Kurt. I'm fine. And we shouldn't be talking about this. I don't talk about this with my clients."  
  
"But I'm not a-" Kurt stopped and swallowed. "I mean, I'm not  _just_  a client, am I?"  
  
"No. You're more than that." Blaine brushed some hair out of Kurt's face and smiled at him, hoping to wipe the worried look away as well. "Do you think cold pasta is any good? Because I've worked up an appetite."  
  
Kurt looked at him for a long moment, as if deciding if he'd allow the change of topic, but then he seemed to realize not to press. He grinned at Blaine and got up from the bed. He was so much more confident with his naked body now than when they first met. Kurt grabbed a robe from the bathroom and tossed one to Blaine. "I think cold pasta could be delicious right now."  
  
Kurt didn't ask any more difficult questions that evening. They ate dinner and then went for another round before curling up together. Kurt was fast asleep and Blaine was close to it himself, but his sleepy thoughts were stuck on how little Kurt was like a client to him, how Kurt knew him better than almost anyone, and how much that realization scared him.


	8. The Other Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello all! Sorry about the wait on this chapter, I needed to focus on my other story for a little while. But now here we are with a brand shiny new chapter just for you. :)  
> Comments = <3

Kurt sat in a soft overstuffed armchair and watched as Blaine sorted through a box of books. They were at  _Fairytale Press,_  a place that Kurt had become extremely familiar with in the past couple of weeks, seeing as he spent time here with Blaine as often as he could.  
  
"Are you sure you don't need help with that?" Kurt asked as Blaine looked at the spine of a book and determined which pile it should go in.  
  
"I get paid for this, Kurt, you're a guest." He smiled up at him from where he was sitting cross-legged on the ground. "I can handle it."  
  
Kurt nodded and tried to focus his attention back on the book he was reading. He and Blaine spent a lot of time together, so much so that comfortably sitting here reading while Blaine worked seemed like a lovely and natural way to spend the morning. The only problem was that Blaine was being terribly distracting. Not on purpose, really, Kurt was to blame, but he couldn't help it when Blaine looked so beautiful.  
  
He was in a purple polo today, with a bowtie (of course) and pale blue pants rolled up at the ankles (as always). The polo was doing all kinds of great things for his physique, framing him so that his broad shoulders were noticeable and cutting his arms just the right way to draw attention to his flexed muscles. Kurt's book was drooping in his hands as he thought about the evening before. It had been another Friday at the hotel together, and memories of trailing his lips across those shoulders or gripping Blaine's strong bicep as they rocked together was making Kurt a little dizzy.  
  
This friendship of theirs was odd by any standards, and it wasn't exactly what Kurt wanted, but he wasn't going to rock the boat. They still got together every Friday as client and escort, while they spent time together almost every other day of the week as friends. During the week, the unspoken 'no touching rule' still seemed to be in effect, so Kurt was left with his daydreams. Today, those daydreams consisted of crawling into Blaine's lap as he sat on the floor and tackling him with kisses. Which of course he did _not_ do, despite how much he wanted to, and how good he knew Blaine's lips tasted.  
  
"How's the book?"  
  
"Hmm?" Kurt broke out of his thoughts to see Blaine smiling up at him.  
  
"The book? You seem  _so_  immersed in it."  
  
Kurt looked down to see the book closed in his lap and then glanced back to Blaine smirking at him. "Oh, ha  _ha_. was just… thinking."  
  
"You were somewhere else entirely. You know… you don't have to be here. This is probably a little boring for you."  
  
"Are you kidding?" Kurt asked. "I love this place. And hanging out with you is always nice. Don't you want me here?"  
  
"Always," Blaine said with a sweet smile. "I love spending time with you, and you make my work day much more pleasant just by being here."  
  
Kurt's cheeks flushed and he opened the book again, pretending to pay attention to it. "I love spending time with you too," Kurt said, his eyes down, and for a moment, the silence between them was heavy with things neither of them were actually saying.  
  
"I was thinking," Kurt spoke up after a moment. "I think we should go to a karaoke bar sometime soon."  
  
"That's a random thought."  
  
Kurt looked back at him sitting and looking adorable surrounded by piles of books in some kind of system that only made sense to Blaine. "It's just that, ever since I learned you were in an acapella group in high school, I've been dying to hear you sing."  
  
"I want to hear  _you_  sing too, so karaoke sounds like the perfect idea."  
  
"Oh! We could sing something together!" Kurt said excitedly, ignoring his book altogether. "We could sing  _You're The Top_ from  _Anything Goes_!"  
  
Blaine chuckled at Kurt's excitement. "I love that idea."  
  
"As long as I get to sing Reno's part."  
  
Blaine stood up from his piles of books as he heard the front door chime. He leaned over Kurt's chair, bracing his hands on either armrest and bringing his face close enough to Kurt's for Kurt's breath to hitch. Blaine glanced from his eyes to his lips before answering, "Of course you'll sing Reno's part." Then he pushed off the chair and walked away. Kurt heard him greet the customer and he tried to slow his heart, which was beating too fast against his chest.  
  
God, Blaine was killing him here.  
  
He wanted Blaine so much. It was more than just physical, the ways he wanted Blaine. It was more than longing for the feel of his skin or their warm bodies pressed against each other or the wet slide of Blaine's lips. It was his laugh and sense of humor. It was his kindness and impeccable manners. It was Blaine's tastes and passions and just  _who he was_. Kurt wanted him, all of him. And he was so close to having it all, and yet…  
  
They were fast friends - Kurt considered Blaine one of his very  _best_  friends. And they had sex –  _weekly_. It just wasn't… it wasn't a  _real_  relationship. A real friendship, yes, but they weren't  _actually_  dating. Kurt couldn't kiss him whenever he wanted to, and he couldn't tell him how he felt about him, and so much of what Kurt wanted he had to hold back.  
  
It was messed up, Kurt knew. Still, he wouldn't give up what he  _did_  have with Blaine. It was too sweet to risk.  
  
Kurt heard the door chime a few more times and knew Blaine would be busy for a little while, so he picked up his book and tried reading again. He looked up when he felt someone plop down and try to squish into the chair with him.  
  
"Hey, Rachel," he said with a smile and put his book down, trying to scoot over, but Rachel was still practically sitting in his lap in the tight confines of the chair.  
  
"I was nearby and I knew I'd find you here," she said, picking up his book. "Reading?"  
  
"Trying to."  
  
"Ahh, you're watching Blaine again." She deposited the book back in Kurt's lap, uninterested.  
  
"I'm not watching Blaine." He was. "And what do you mean  _again_?" Oh lord, he had a problem.  
  
"Oh, you know, the way you two are always staring after each other with heart-eyes."  
  
"Blaine does not stare after me with heart-eyes."  
  
"Oh, please." Rachel tossed her hair behind her shoulder. "I don't understand you two. Why haven't you officially started dating? You are  _perfect_  for each other."  
  
Kurt looked down and started fidgeting with the edges of his book. "I don't know about that."  
  
" _I_ do. What's stopping you? Wait - Oh god."  
  
Kurt looked up.  
  
"It's the other guy, isn't it?"  
  
"What other guy?" Kurt asked worriedly. Did Blaine have some other guy?  
  
"Your ' _Mr. One-Night Stand'_. You aren't still hung up on that guy, are you?"  
  
Kurt blinked at Rachel for a moment before he remembered the conversation he'd had with her  _about Blaine_  without ever telling Rachel Blaine's name. "Oh. No. No, I'm not." That wasn't true. "I mean, I am, but…"  
  
"Kurt, why would you be pining after a guy who doesn't want you when Blaine is right here and you obviously have feelings for him? Is the sex  _that_  good?"  
  
"I… just…" Kurt wasn't sure how to answer that, but was spared having to come up with a reply when Blaine joined them, sitting down on the ground again with a broad smile.  
  
"What are we talking about?"  
  
"Oh, Kurt and I were just discussing how you should join us at  _Duets_  tonight," Rachel said easily. "It's this great piano bar Jesse and I found. Elliot and Bryce are coming. It will be fun!"  
  
"Oh." Blaine glanced at Kurt for confirmation.  
  
"That would be fun. You have to come, Blaine."  
  
"I'd love to, really." Blaine rubbed the back of his neck and looked nervous. "It's just that I'm working."  
  
"Working?" Kurt asked, confused.  
  
"You're working  _now,_  Blaine," Rachel added.  
  
Then it hit Kurt. Blaine was  _working_. Not at  _Fairytale Press,_  but for the escort service. Blaine had a client tonight.  
  
Kurt suddenly felt sick.  
  
"Yes… Well… Extra hours are always helpful," Blaine tried to explain.  
  
"That's too bad." Rachel stood from the chair, and the feeling started to return to Kurt's legs. "Maybe some other time?"  
  
Kurt couldn't find anything to say at all.  
  
"You're leaving already?" Blaine looked disappointed. Kurt was both pleased and somewhat apprehensive at how quickly Rachel and Blaine had become friends.  
  
"Oh, I'm out running errands this morning before rehearsal. I just thought I'd stop by and say hello." She leaned down and gave Kurt a hug. " _Think about what I said_ ," she whispered before leaving.  
  
But Kurt couldn't think about anything other than the fact that Blaine would be with a client tonight. He knew of course that Blaine had other clients. He'd always known, but in this moment, it hit him like a ton of bricks.  
  
All the images in his head earlier of him and Blaine together morphed into something else. Twisted into visions of Blaine with some faceless man. Some stranger kissing across Blaine's shoulders, and gripping his arm and tasting his lips and them coming together. Kurt really thought he might throw up.  
  
"You okay?" Blaine asked, and Kurt snapped his head down to look at him.  
  
He spoke without thinking. "Who is he?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Kurt shook his head and tried to gather his thoughts. "You're working for the agency tonight, right? Who's the guy?" Kurt cleared his throat and tried to sound indifferent. "Is he a regular or…?"  
  
"Oh. Um. Yeah. He's a regular. He only comes to the city every once in a while, but we always meet up when he does. He lives in the suburbs, but keeps an apartment here."  
  
"Oh." Kurt nodded. "Not one of those closeted guys, is he?"  
  
"No. He's out." Blaine squirmed on the ground where he was sitting, looking a little uncomfortable. "He just enjoys my company from time to time."  
  
"Right. Right." Kurt couldn't seem to stop nodding. "So you meet up at this guy's apartment?"  
  
"We usually go out first,  _XL_ or more likely  _Cure._  He likes clubs... You know, I shouldn't be telling you this." Blaine's face was flushed and he ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry."  
  
"No, it's okay. I shouldn't have asked. We'll change the subject." Jealousy was like a tight, hot ball in Kurt's stomach, but he knew that was unfair. He steered the conversation to safer waters; his job at the fashion house, the new little Thai place he found, and soon things seemed easy between them again. Except it wasn't really. On the inside, Kurt was  _freaking out_ , and he knew he had to  _do_ something.  
  
That afternoon, when Kurt left  _Fairytale Press,_  an idea, a very foolish idea, he knew, was forming in his mind.

* * *

"So instead of  _Duets,_  you want us to go to a gay club with you?" Jesse asked as they sat in Jesse's and Rachel's living room waiting for Rachel to finish getting ready to go.  
  
" _Cure_  isn't exclusively a gay club, it is just very gay-friendly," Kurt clarified.  
  
"Sure, we can go." Jesse was usually agreeable. He'd go if others wanted to. "We could help you scope out the place. You aren't looking for a guy are you?"  
  
"Why shouldn't I be?" Kurt asked, even though he knew that wasn't even close to the reason why he wanted to try this particular club.  
  
Jesse raised his eyebrows and looked at him quizzically. He'd met Blaine himself and undoubtedly had heard an earful about him from Rachel. "No reason."  
  
Rachel came out with her third outfit try for the evening and after Kurt approved of it, they all set out, texting Elliot and Bryce, who were meeting up with them, the venue change.  _Cure_  was a club in Chelsea that Kurt had never been to before but had heard of. He'd never really thought of giving it a try until he found out that Blaine might be there this evening.  
  
Blaine and this rich suburban client he saw regularly.  
  
He knew he shouldn't be trying to spy on Blaine like this, but he couldn't get the idea of him and another guy out of his head. He was sickly drawn in, like a fly to a web. He needed to see for himself. To see that, even though Blaine was probably very good at his job, there was no way he had chemistry with this other guy. He needed to see that this was just Blaine's job. That what he and Blaine had was special, even though he already  _knew_  it was.  
  
He just needed to see.  
  
The club was full this evening, with pounding music and flashing lights. Jesse, Rachel and Kurt made their way over to the bar and Kurt leaned against it, eyes roaming the crowd as his friends ordered.  
  
"What'll you have?" A voice called from behind his shoulder, and he turned to see the bartender waiting for his order.  
  
"Oh…. A Melon Sour?"  
  
The bartender nodded and turned to make the drink as Kurt continued to look over the crowd for any signs of Blaine.  _Ugh, why did Blaine have to be so short?_  They were served their drinks when Rachel leaned in to shout in his ear over the music. "Should we dance?"  
  
"That's okay. You and Jesse go ahead. I'll stay here and, um, wait for Elliot and Bryce."  
  
Jesse pulled Rachel onto the dance floor and they were soon grinding against each other embarrassingly.  
  
Kurt sipped at his drink and continued looking for Blaine, his stomach aching with jealousy and hurt. He wanted to see Blaine out tonight as much as he  _really didn't_  want to. He was distracted from his searching when Elliot came up and shouted "Boo!"  
  
Kurt jumped and almost spilled his drink before looking at Elliot and Bryce, hands locked together and bright expressions on their faces.  
  
"Sorry!" Elliot laughed. "You looked so intense."  
  
"Lost in thought," Kurt responded over the music.  
  
"Why aren't you dancing?"  
  
"I was just waiting-" Kurt didn't get to finish his thought as Rachel came hurrying towards them with Jesse in tow.  
  
"We should go," she said quickly.  
  
"But we just got here." Bryce looked confused, and Rachel gave him and Elliot a passing glance.  
  
"Yes, but I don't like it here." She grabbed Kurt's arm and started tugging. "Let's find someplace else."  
  
"What happened, Rachel?" Kurt asked worriedly, looking back at Jesse for an explanation.   
  
He wasn't any help. "I'm with Rachel. This place isn't really our speed."  
  
"I don't under-" Kurt stopped talking as his heart sank down to his toes. Just then, the dancing crowd parted enough for Kurt's eyes to fall on two men dancing close, noses touching and hands moving. Kurt licked his lips and swallowed, even though it hurt his throat to do so. He watched the taller of the two men – a ridiculously good-looking, dark-haired man, probably in his late thirties – as he trailed his hands down to cup his dance partner's ass. To cup  _Blaine's_  ass. "Oh, god." Kurt's voice came out so hoarse he doubted any of his friends heard him. It didn't matter, though, they were all looking at them the same way Kurt was.  
  
"Is that your friend Blaine?" Bryce asked, and Elliot elbowed him in the side. Kurt didn't even notice. He took a step forward and then another before he felt someone tugging on his arm.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Kurt!" Rachel shouted, the music still pumping through the room. "Let's just go."  
  
"I can't." Kurt’s voice was tight as he shook her off himself and continued forward, making his way straight to Blaine. He stood and watched as Blaine and the stranger danced chest to chest, so close there was barely room between them, and  _then_  the man leaned in to nibble a little at Blaine's ear. A wave of jealousy and protectiveness rushed through Kurt. He couldn't watch this. He couldn't watch another man's hands  _and lips_  all over Blaine. He couldn't.  
  
"Stop!" Kurt shouted without even thinking about it.  
  
The man glanced over, but gave Kurt no mind before Blaine turned his head and his eyes widened as they landed on Kurt, who was being pushed and shoved around while he was standing still on a busy dance floor. "Stop," Kurt repeated, but this time so quietly there was no way anyone heard it.  
  
"Oh my god." Blaine's mouth fell open before he quickly took a long step away from the man he was dancing with. "No. No, no,  _no_."  
  
"Everything all right, babe?" The man asked Blaine, and anger curled up inside of Kurt like a hurricane.  
  
"Get away from him!" Kurt shouted. He stepped forward and pushed the man away from Blaine. It was a surreal moment. Kurt felt like something else was controlling him. He couldn't believe he was acting so irrationally, but he couldn't stop himself. He pushed the stranger back another foot.  
  
The man lifted his hands, clearly not looking for a fight. "Hey, kid, cool down."  
  
"It's okay, Daniel." Blaine said, his face still a mask of shock. "I am so so sorry about this, but could I have just  _five minutes_?"  
  
Daniel glanced at Kurt for a long time before looking back to Blaine. "Yeah, of course." He brought his hand to the back of Blaine's neck and pulled him in for a kiss as Kurt watched and his throat clogged with hot tears.  
  
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and started leading him off the dance floor. Kurt followed him, stunned, until they exited the main room and found themselves in the hallway that led to the restrooms. Kurt could still feel the bass beat of the music back here, but it was much quieter.  
  
When they were alone, Blaine turned to face Kurt, keeping hold of his hand. " _Kurt_ , what is going on here?"  
  
"I… I…" Kurt closed his mouth and spent a moment taking a deep breath. He was  _not_  going to cry.  
  
Blaine sighed and he ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his perfect curls. "Are you here because I said I might be?"  
  
Kurt slowly nodded. He felt so stupid, but at the same time it was everything he could do not to drag Blaine out of this place right then.  
  
"Why would you do that? You  _can't do this_. I'm working."  
  
"I just… I just had to know," Kurt said quietly.  
  
Blaine stared at him for a long moment. He didn't seem angry, just deflated. He didn't ask what it was that Kurt had to know. "This is completely inappropriate. What if I came into your place of work and started pushing people around?"  
  
"It isn't the same!" Kurt could feel his eyes watering. He was  _not going to cry_.  
  
"This is my living, Kurt, and you're jeopardizing that! And what for?" Blaine was raising his voice now, though his face still didn't look angry. Lost maybe, but not quite angry. "Why would you follow me here just to break up my time with a client?"  
  
"I…" Kurt swallowed. "I don't like it! I  _hate_  that you are here with someone else," Kurt yelled, balling his first. He didn't know if he was angry or not. He was too full of emotion to even understand what he was feeling.  
  
"Kurt, you've always known this is what I do. I've never hidden that! God, Kurt, we wouldn't even know each other if I didn't do what I do."  
  
"You said I wasn't like other clients," Kurt barreled on, "but I saw you dancing with him. You go out to clubs and you dance like that and he  _kisses_  you."  
  
"That's what he's paying for!" Blaine threw his hands in the air, clearly frustrated.  
  
"But I thought… I thought we were different."  
  
"We  _are_."  
  
"It looks the same to me!"  
  
Blaine let out a long breath and rubbed his hand over his face before stepping closer to Kurt and lifting his eyes to meet his. Blaine placed one of his hands to gently cup Kurt's neck. "It may look the same to you, but I promise it doesn't feel the same to me."  
  
"I don't like it," Kurt repeated, but all energy had left his words and they came out helpless and small.  
  
"I know, but you should never even have seen this. I  _knew_  I shouldn't have talked to you about my other clients. You just seemed to be handling it fine." Blaine moved forward and leaned his forehead against Kurt's, his hand still on the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Kurt, but this is what I do. I thought you understood. And I have to go back to Daniel now, I'm still on the clock… I'm sorry. Can we talk about this later?"  
  
Kurt just shrugged stubbornly, not able to find his voice.  
  
Blaine pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek before he dropped his hand and took a step back. He sighed again and then walked towards the door that led back to the main room. He brought his hand up to push against it and whispered one last time, "I'm sorry", his voice sounding broken, before leaving Kurt standing alone in the hallway.  
  
As soon as Blaine left, the tears Kurt had barely been holding back came flowing out. He clutched at his chest, and a broken sob ripped through him. He leaned against a wall and let himself have a full minute of crying before he valiantly wiped off his face and marched back out into the club looking for and finding his friends still standing by the bar.  
  
"I'm going home." His voice shook and there were still tears wet on his cheeks.  
  
"Oh, Kurt." Rachel looked heartbroken herself. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea Blaine was such a  _snake_. Saying he was working and then-"  
  
"No. Stop," Kurt pleaded. "You don't know the whole story... This isn't Blaine's f-fault." His breath hitched. "But I'm going home."  
  
"I'll come with you."  
  
"No, Rachel."  
  
"Kurt, are you sure you don't want some company?" Elliot spoke up. And of course Kurt had arranged it so all of his friends had been here to witness this miserable evening. "No. I just need to not be here. I'll talk to you all later, alright?" With that, he broke away from them, ignoring their appeals, and went straight outside to hail a cab.  
  
He cried silently all the way back to his apartment and was still crying when he fell down on his couch, his chest aching. He was in love with Blaine. He was in love with Blaine, and tonight, Blaine would be having sex with someone else and  _god_ , he knew it was Blaine's job and it shouldn't hurt like this. But it did. So much.  
  
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit Mercedes's number. It only rang once before her cheerful voice answered on the other end.  
  
"Kurt! What a great surprise! How are you?"  
  
"I'm in love... with B-blaine," Kurt rushed out as another sob punched through him.  
  
"Wait. What?"  
  
"I'm in love with Blaine," Kurt repeated.  
  
There was silence for a short moment before Mercedes spoke again. "Blaine? As in the  _escort_  I hired for you months ago?"  
  
Kurt's sobs were dying down a little now, but his chest still hurt. "Yes, that Blaine."  
  
" _Oh, Kurt_. What's going on? Tell me everything. From the beginning."  
  
Kurt hiccuped out one last good sob before taking a deep breath and drying his eyes with his sleeve. He was so grateful that he was finally going to be able to tell someone the whole story, even if it couldn’t possibly piece his broken heart bake together again.


	9. Yellow Roses

Kurt felt sick to his stomach. He couldn't sleep at all that night, partially because he knew what Blaine was doing right then, he could imagine it too vividly; Blaine's golden skin and kiss-pink lips and someone else's hands all over him. Kurt groaned and rolled to his side on the bed, hugging a pillow to his chest.  
  
It was more than just the thought of Blaine with someone else that was tormenting Kurt, though; he couldn't help but replay their confrontation over and over in his head. He felt so  _stupid_. Hadn't he just been telling himself not to rock the boat? That things with Blaine were too good to risk? And then he'd purposefully gone to that club to see Blaine with another man. Stupid.  
  
Kurt's stomach twisted and he pressed his palms against his eyes. No more crying. Crying wasn't going to fix this. He'd talked to Mercedes for a long time, telling her how he'd seen Blaine again after that first night, and then again and again and again. He explained how he'd fallen in love with a man he felt like he could never have and that he feared he'd messed things up and that he was going to lose Blaine altogether now.  
  
Mercedes has listened quietly, just adding, "Oh, Kurt" and "I'm so sorry" now and again. At the end, he asked her what she thought he should do, and of course her answer seemed so simple. " _Tell him, Kurt_. You have to tell him how you feel. Don't you think there's a chance he feels the same way?"  
  
Of course, Kurt had started thinking that Blaine might share his feelings, but his hope had wavered when he saw him with that client, Daniel – rich, handsome Daniel. Who was  _Kurt_ if that was the kind of guy Blaine was usually with? And besides, even if he and Blaine were somehow to miraculously get together, how would Kurt survive sharing him with his clients? Knowing that every night apart meant Blaine was with someone else? It was his heart, not just this stomach, which twisted now, tight and painful in his chest.  
  
Kurt  _knew_  there was something special between them, though, and he had some proof of that. After hearing the whole story and giving Kurt her advice, Mercedes had tentatively asked him a question he hadn't been expecting. "How are you affording this, Kurt? Seeing him once a week? I know you're making good money right now, but still…"  
  
Kurt had sighed and rubbed his head. "It's been taking a toll on my paycheck, for sure."  
  
"Yeah, but, Kurt, a  _thousand dollars_  a week?"  
  
Kurt had sat straight up on the couch where he'd been lying. Why would Mercedes think he was paying that much? Then again, it was Mercedes who booked Blaine first.  
  
"Oh my god, Kurt." Mercedes had breathed when she found out how little he was paying in comparison to Blaine's initial fee. Kurt had even received another discount when their meet-ups became weekly. "I don't think that's normal, Kurt." Mercedes continued. "I think he must have lowered his price because he  _wanted_  to see you."  
  
"I just…" Kurt shook his head, trying to understand. "That means from the very start, he wanted to see me?"  
  
"Kurt, now you really  _have_  to tell him how you feel. There is obviously something there."  
  
After all of that, Kurt was more confused than ever. He lay in bed thinking about how much Blaine meant to him and wondering if he'd truly screwed things up for good by following him to  _Cure_ … Or was there a chance?  _Maybe_  there was still hope…

* * *

Blaine got to work feeling hung-over and sluggish, even though he wasn't actually hung-over at all. It was just that he'd hardly slept last night; instead he'd laid next to Daniel between silk sheets and listened to his heavy breathing, doing everything he could to push thoughts of Kurt out of his mind. Even this morning, Blaine's thoughts weren't on the man he'd been with last night. Instead, they were steadfastly on the tear-filled blue eyes of the man he was in love with.  
  
He’d hurt Kurt, and it was the worst feeling he had ever experienced. He had  _never_  wanted to hurt Kurt. He did his best not to flaunt what he did for a living, and he never would have been out with someone else in front of Kurt on purpose. And yet, last night, there Kurt was, out of nowhere and looking at him on that dance floor with Daniel as if Blaine had just smashed his heart with a hammer.  
  
Blaine groaned and held his head in his hands, leaning over the front counter at  _Fairytale Press_. He had to think of what to do; he needed to make this right, but how? Even if Kurt never saw him with another client again, he'd always have the knowledge of last night. Honestly, Blaine was terrified. This very likely meant the end of him and Kurt - Kurt would say he'd had enough and that they were over. The thought made Blaine feel ill.  
  
Blaine looked up when he heard the front door chime and put on his 'customer service smile'. His grin wavered, though, when he saw who had walked into the shop and the fierce expression on her face, lips pursed, eyebrows heavy and eyes all but burning fire.  
  
"Hi, Rachel," Blaine said with a weak smile.  
  
She walked right up to the counter and then put a hand on her hip while flipping back her hair. "I don't have much time, I need to get to rehearsal, but we need to talk about last night."  
  
_Oh god_ , had Kurt already told her about that? And if so, how much did she know?  
  
"We all saw you with that other guy."  
  
"We… What do you mean? Who saw?"  
  
Rachel huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I think Kurt must have suspected you were there and that's why he changed our plans last minute. Jesse, Elliot, Bryce and I were all there."  
  
"Oh _god_." Blaine's head started to pound.  
  
"And honestly, I was  _livid_ , especially after seeing how upset Kurt was."  
  
"Believe me, Rachel, I never wanted-"  
  
Rachel lifted up a hand and talked right over him. "I  _was_  livid, but I've had time to think it over and talk to Jesse. Honestly, I feel like you've been leading Kurt on-"  
  
"No-"  
  
" _AND,_ " Rachel continued. "That's a horrible thing to do, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you didn't mean to, or… you didn't know how much Kurt  _feels things_. He puts on a strong front, but he has a tender heart. Anyway, I know the two of you aren't dating, and Jesse kept reminding me that what you did wasn't  _technically_  cheating on Kurt, so I'm prepared to forgive you."  
  
"Thank you?" Blaine said slowly, still not sure what to make of this.  
  
"That is  _if_  you don't see Kurt anymore."  
  
Blaine stood stunned as Rachel's words hit him. It took a moment to register their meaning. "You don't want me to see Kurt?" Blaine's throat felt dry as he pushed the words out.  
  
"You don't understand," Rachel answered, some of the fierceness in her face replaced with sadness. "Kurt can't get over you if you two are hanging out all the time. He needs to move on. You're obviously not interested if you are out with other guys, so do this one kindness for Kurt." Rachel leaned forward, her palms against the counter and looking Blaine steadily in the eyes. "Leave him alone."  
  
"But…"  
  
"No, Blaine. _Leave. Him. Alone."  
  
_ Blaine's heart shrunk in his chest, and he couldn't think of anything to say. It seemed he didn't need to respond anyway, because Rachel turned on her heel, her hair swinging behind her, as she marched dramatically from the store.  
  
Blaine felt a little shaky and sat down on a stool to get his bearings. Rachel thought Blaine didn't care, that he didn't have strong feelings for Kurt. She didn't know Blaine was in love and that last night had been torture for him. She didn't know what she was asking when she told him to give Kurt up. She thought he was dating around with some other guy, oblivious to everything. She didn't know  _all he wanted was Kurt.  
  
_ Rachel was protecting her friend, and Blaine couldn't be mad at her for that, even if it hurt a little because he thought that he'd become friends with Rachel too. All in all, he was glad Kurt had friends who stuck up for him. He just wished he could make her understand things weren't the way they seemed. In truth, things were utterly and completely screwed up, and Blaine didn't know how he could fix it.  
  
Besides, did he really know how Kurt felt about him? Yes, they were friends, and yes, Kurt was jealous and hurt when he saw Blaine with Daniel, but was it really possible that Kurt to felt the same way as Blaine? Rachel seemed to think so, but Rachel didn't have all the facts. What if both he and Rachel were reading too much into Kurt's feelings? A mean little voice in the back of Blaine's head whispered to him,  _Could Kurt really love you when he knows what you are?_ _  
_  
Blaine couldn't sit still anymore. He needed to distract himself, so he started dusting shelves and rearranging books and doing anything he could to  _not_  think of Kurt. Of course, that didn't work. Kurt's hurt expression from last night was on constant replay in his mind.  
  
Blaine had just finished up helping a young woman pick out a book for her next book club meeting when the door chime rang and he went up front to check on the new customer. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Kurt.  
  
Kurt looked paler than normal, but his eyes were bright and a little wide as they landed on Blaine. He was carrying a bouquet of flowers and rocking on his heels a little. "Hello, Blaine."  
  
Blaine involuntarily smiled at the sound of Kurt's sweet voice even as his stomach dropped in apprehension.  
  
"Can I… talk to you for a minute? I know you're working, and if this is a bad time-"  
  
"It isn't a bad time," Blaine answered quickly and nodded towards the door behind the counter. "Come with me."  
  
Kurt followed him to the back room and Blaine turned to face him, his heart hammering.  
  
"About last night," Kurt started.  
  
Blaine's cut in, scared of what Kurt might say. "Kurt, I'm  _so_  sorry."  
  
"No no." Kurt shook his head. " _I'm_  the one that is sorry. You were right, it was completely inappropriate for me to follow you to that club and interrupt your time with… with… your client." Blaine watched as Kurt swallowed deeply. "I'm sorry I put you in that position…" Kurt held out the flowers with a nervous glance at Blaine. "These are for you."  
  
Blaine smiled and reached for the bouquet of yellow roses. "Kurt, these are beautiful, but you didn't have to do this."  
  
"Yes, I did. I know I messed things up last night and I wanted to show you that I'd  _really want_ to make things right."  
  
Blaine sighed and then held the flowers to his nose, as much to stall for time to think as to smell their sweet scent. "Kurt, I really appreciate it." Blaine bit his lip and turned to find something to keep the flowers in. Kurt had brought him flowers. In any other circumstance this would have made him giddy.  
  
"I saw Rachel this morning," he said as he put the flowers in a vase. He turned back around to see Kurt's surprised expression.  
  
"How?"  
  
"She came by and… suggested that maybe…" Blaine rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his shoes. "That maybe it would be good if we didn't spend time together anymore."  
  
There was a beat of silence and then Kurt's voice, just a whisper. " _No_."  
  
Blaine looked up. "I mean… She doesn't know the whole story, but this thing between us, whatever it is…" he gestured helplessly between them. "It's complicated and… I guess I see her point." Blaine sighed and stopped talking as he watched Kurt's face go from worried to almost tearful before it took on a steely look of determination.  
  
"No," Kurt repeated, his voice strong as he straightened his shoulders. "Rachel  _does not_  get to dictate what we do."  
  
"She is just trying to be a good friend."  
  
"I know that. Trust me, I  _know_  Rachel Berry, and she too often well-meaningly sticks her nose into things that are none of her business. But she doesn't get a say in this."  
  
"Kurt-"  
  
Kurt shook his head and took a step forward. "No, this is between you and me. And you… You're my friend, Blaine. I don't want to lose you." His voice started to sound scratchy. "Don't listen to Rachel. What do  _you_  want?" Kurt's words wavered a little, but his face was still set and resolute.  
  
Blaine's heart flipped over in anticipation. He knew what he wanted, but did he have the guts to tell Kurt how he felt?  
  
"I want things to go back to the way they were," Kurt added, "before I messed everything up."  
  
Blaine's heart sunk.   
  
Oh.   
  
That wasn't what he'd been hoping for. He took in a deep breath, filing up his lungs and trying to decide what to say, though he knew what he had to do. If Kurt didn't feel the same way about him, then no, things couldn't just go back to the way they'd had been. "I can't do that," Blaine said softly.  
  
Kurt's face went a little paler.  
  
"I mean… I can't be 'Escort Blaine'  _and_  'Friend Blaine' anymore. I don't think we can keep having sex and maintain our friendship. I think last night proved that."  
  
"But…"  
  
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I hate ultimatums, but you have to decide. Do you want to be friends or do you still want to hire me? I'll… I'll go with whatever you chose, but I can't do both, not anymore." Blaine could hardly breathe waiting for Kurt's answer, because as much as he'd miss the sex,  _oh the sex was good_ , if Kurt picked that over their friendship, it was going to crush him.  
  
"I pick you," Kurt said, the color returning to his cheeks as his face scrunched up in confusion. "Was there really any doubt about that?"  
  
"You pick me? What… does that mean?"  
  
Kurt sighed and then smiled, stepping forward again and reaching for Blaine's hand, holding it sweetly. "I pick you as my  _friend,_  Blaine, because I don't know what I'd do without you."  
  
Blaine let out a long breath and then couldn't help but laugh with relief. "Okay, good. Good." He ran his free hand though his hair, his heart flooding with relief.  
  
"In the words of Rachel Barbra Berry, 'I'm going to hug you now',” Kurt said with a playful smile. "Is that okay?"  
  
In answer, Blaine just threw his arms around Kurt, sighing into his shoulder as Kurt wrapped him up tightly in his arms and they swayed back and forth for a moment. "So we're going to be okay?" Kurt asked quietly.  
  
"Of course," Blaine said even as his heart tugged at him a little bit. This wasn't exactly what he wanted, but it was good, it was so good. This morning, he thought he'd lost Kurt, so he could find a way to be satisfied with friendship. He could do that. He buried his face in the curve of Kurt's neck and breathed him in – holding the hug longer than was strictly necessary. He could do this if the alternative was losing Kurt altogether.

* * *

Since that disastrous night at  _Cure,_  things with Blaine had found a regular rhythm. Their Friday evening trysts had been canceled, and though Kurt could easily admit he missed that kind of intimacy with Blaine, he understood why it had to happen. And at least he still had Blaine in his life.

  
Kurt had left  _Fairytale Press_  after apologizing to Blaine, feeling much lighter than he had when he arrived, and that evening he went straight to Rachel's apartment when he knew she'd be home.

  
"Don't you  _ever_  tell Blaine to stop seeing me again," he said as soon as Rachel answered the door.

  
She opened her mouth to protest, but Kurt just marched in past her. "He did  _nothing_  wrong, and even if he had, it isn't your place! You can't just tell my friends to stay away from me!"  
  
"I was just trying to protect you!" she argued, crossing her arms across her chest stubbornly. "I know how you feel about him."  
  
"How I feel isn't your business or his fault!" Kurt was shouting, not because he was angry, really, but because he knew how close he'd come to losing Blaine's friendship. "It’s just something… I have to deal with. And if I lost Blaine as my friend because of it…" Kurt's face fell and he let out a shaky sigh.  
  
Rachel's shoulders slumped.  
  
"I  _can't_ lose him," Kurt said softly, all his fighting spirit gone.  
  
Rachel rushed forward to hug him. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to help."  
  
"I know." Kurt said rubbing her back lightly. "But don't  _do that_  anymore."  
  
She pulled back to look Kurt in the eyes. "You are in love with him, though, aren't you?"  
  
Kurt nodded as his throat tightened. " _So_  in love with him."  
  
Rachel had dropped the subject from there, both of them knowing there was little else to say.  
  
Kurt was lucky. He saw Blaine almost every day. Hanging out at  _Fairytale Press_  or at Kurt's apartment, watching movies or walking around Central Park, coffee in hand. Now, when they spent time together, Blaine resolutely didn't talk about his night job, and when Blaine was busy in the evenings, Kurt resolutely did not ask him what he was doing. There was still plenty to talk about, though. Being with Blaine was easy and comfortable, and Kurt felt like he'd known him for years.  


The knowledge that Blaine was with other men, along with Kurt's pent-up feelings for him, was still an almost constant ache in Kurt's chest. He just wanted to hold Blaine's face and kiss him and tell him that he loved him, but Kurt had already stepped out of bounds once and he was  _not_  going to ruin what they had now. Blaine was his best friend, and Kurt could be grateful for that, even if he had to admit to himself that he wanted something more.

  
Another problem was that Kurt had gone his whole life before Blaine without sex and had been fine, but now he knew what he was missing out on. Kurt would wake up some mornings warm and hard like he was a teenager again, dreams of Blaine chased away by his conscious mind.   
  
It was as if a switch had been flipped inside of him. Not that he was some unquenchable sex monster, but _god, did he want it_. And he wanted it with Blaine. He refused to use the thoughts and memories of his friend to get off on, though, even if Blaine's name was on his lips as he woke in the mornings. He just needed to find another way to get some release.  
  
It would be easy to find someone to sleep with, and Kurt was so much more confident than he used to be. But he didn't know how to have sex just for the sake of sex. Even at the beginning of everything with Blaine, sex had felt like  _more_. Kurt wasn't sure how to recreate that, and he didn't really have a desire for sex without it. Besides, it felt like a betrayal to consider sleeping with someone other than Blaine, even though they weren't together like that... and it wasn't like Blaine was celibate without  _him_.  
  
Kurt knew he had to do something when he woke up one morning after a dream of Blaine's firm hands pulling him in and his soft lips trailing his neck, their hips thrusting together as Kurt gripped Blaine's shoulders. He woke up with a cry, his hand pumping himself and his sheets wet.  
  
" _Oh god_ ," Kurt moaned, his breathing still heavy from his dream. He may be keeping himself from doing this when he was awake, but his unconscious mind was a traitor. Kurt got up and took a long cold shower, wondering if maybe he should ask Nick out and try that again. His heart wasn't in it, though.  


He needed to find something that could be used as a distraction, not only physically, but emotionally as well. He couldn't keep holding on to the hope that things with Blaine would someday turn romantic, and he didn't want to end up all alone. He had to do  _something_.  
  
Kurt was sitting in a coffee shop one afternoon, looking over some drawings for work, when an unfamiliar voice interrupted his thoughts. "Is anyone using this chair?"  
  
Kurt looked up to see a tall young man with flashing green eyes and a great smile.  
  
"No, you can use it," Kurt answered.  
  
The man's smile brightened as he sat down across the table from Kurt. Okay, that wasn't what Kurt had thought he meant…  
  
"What's a guy like you doing sitting here all alone?" the man asked with a sly look and a lifted eyebrow. Kurt felt his cheeks heat up with the way the stranger's eyes were roaming up and down his body.  
  
”I just…" Kurt cleared his throat. "I'm just working."  
  
The man leaned forward, his chin cupped in his hand. "You're so serious, but I bet I could  _loosen you up_." His eyes lingered on Kurt's lips, and Kurt swallowed deeply. Nothing this man was saying was exactly inappropriate, but his body language and tone told another story. Kurt was about to brush him off when he stopped. This guy was cute, and sure, he was a little forward, but that didn't have to be a bad thing. And Kurt really needed to get over Blaine and learn to just be his friend.  
  
The guy watched Kurt's face closely and he smiled when he saw what must have been interest in Kurt's expression.   
  
"How about we get out of here? I could make you forget all about work."

  
Okay, he was  _really_  forward. Kurt smiled and shook his head. "Or how about we start with names?" Kurt held out his hand. "I'm Kurt."

  
The man bit his lip, somehow seductively, and then took Kurt's hand. "My name is Sebastian, and it's a  _pleasure_  to meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I know, I know. I'm sorry!


	10. Trying Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Oh my gosh, you all have very strong and polarizing opinions on Sebastian Smythe! I'm glad some of you don't know where I live I'd be worried you'd be banging on my door yelling for an explanation (I kid, I kid). Please do keep in mind that this is a Klaine story though, so take that as you will.  
> Anyway, sorry for the wait between chapters between work and my other story I'm working on there is so little time!  
> Okay - that's all from me, read on!

Kurt was taking things slow with Sebastian. They’d had coffee together once, because Sebastian had sat down at his table and introduced himself, and they'd gone to dinner the next day. Dinner had been nice. Sebastian was attentive, sometimes attentive in a way that made Kurt blush, but he was also charming and interesting.  
  
Sebastian had traveled the world, seen all of these amazing places, and Kurt loved listening to his stories. If somehow listening to Sebastian made him feel a little  _uninteresting_  himself, he was sure that wasn't Sebastian's fault. How impressive could Kurt's stories of NYADA and work be when Sebastian had been to Milan and Amsterdam? Kurt found himself quickly turning the subject back to Sebastian time and time again, and Sebastian didn't seem to mind.  
  
"You'd love Paris, Kurt. You think New York is impressive? I mean, I guess it is compared to Middle America, where you're from, but Paris… It’s on a whole other level."  
  
Kurt smiled and pushed his food around on his plate. He wanted to remind Sebastian that he was from Middle America, too, though he hadn't said exactly where.  
  
"I got to spend my freshman year in high school in Paris before coming back stateside."  
  
  
"That must have been nice," Kurt said. "I would have loved to see Paris when I was 15. Growing up in Lima had its… difficulties."  
  
"Mmmm," Sebastian hummed, skipping over what Kurt said about difficulties. "Paris would love you." He scooted closer to Kurt in the booth and placed a hand on his knee. Kurt's cheeks flushed as Sebastian looked him straight in the eye and then glanced down to Kurt's lips. He knew what Sebastian wanted, and it was the same thing Kurt  _thought_  he wanted as well. He had to get Blaine out of his head. They were just friends, nothing more. He had to remember that, as much as he wanted it all with Blaine, that wasn't what their relationship was.  
  
"We could get out of here," Sebastian said, his voice lower and his eyes still boring into Kurt’s. "Go back to my place? It's close by."  
  
Kurt cleared his throat nervously. "I… Sure, okay," he nodded, determined to see this through. They paid for dinner and Sebastian took his hand as they walked the few blocks to Sebastian's apartment. Kurt started to feel more and more nervous with every step.   
  
This was their first official date and now Kurt was going home with him? Was he the kind of guy who slept with someone on the first date?  _No._  Kurt thought to himself.  _You're the kind of guy who hires an escort for his first time and then promptly falls in love with that escort._  
  
They stopped in front of Sebastian's apartment building as he unlocked the door. This was happening then; he was doing this.  
  
"I can't," Kurt blurted out.  
  
Sebastian looked up from his keys in surprise. "What was that?"  
  
"I mean… I had a good time at dinner. I hope we can do it again sometime, but maybe it would be better if I didn't go up with you."  
  
Sebastian sent him a little smirk and stepped closer, his face just a breath away from Kurt's. "Come on. It will be fun, I  _promise_."  
  
Kurt shook his head. "Not tonight."  
  
Sebastian's brow furrowed in disappointment, or maybe frustration, but soon he was smiling again. "Okay. Some other time." He leaned in and Kurt held his breath as Sebastian brought their lips together. It wasn't a bad kiss, in fact, as Sebastian reached up and held onto his shoulders, Kurt had to admit it was a very nice kiss. Sebastian's lips were soft but eager, and he clearly knew what he was doing. When they pulled apart, Sebastian was smiling broadly. "I'll talk to you soon."  
  
Kurt couldn't find his voice, so he just nodded. Once Sebastian was inside and out of sight, Kurt leaned against the wall of the building, his legs feeling a little wobbly. Okay, this was good, right? After all this time of being stuck on Blaine, he was finally working to get over him. He'd gone out with Sebastian, he'd kissed him and it was all really nice.  
  
So then why was his stomach hollow and his throat clogged with tears?  
  
_Because I love Blaine._  It was a simple answer, really. He was in love with someone who didn't love him back. He'd always wanted to feel this way about someone and had even feared sometimes that maybe he wasn't capable of really truly being in love, but now he was… and god, did it  _hurt_. He never imagined love hurting this way.  
  
He started slowly wandering home, lost in thought. He took the subway and got off at a familiar stop. He kept walking and didn't even realize it wasn't his home that his feet were taking him too. He stood in front of  _Fairytale Press,_  looking through the windows to the warm dimly lit interior. It was closed now. He wondered if Blane was home in his little apartment in the back or if he was out… working. He decided he was already here, and might as well find out.  
  
He walked around to the back of the building and took the outdoor staircase to the second floor, where he knocked on Blaine's door.  _Please be home._ It only took a moment before he heard someone walking up to the door. They didn't open it, though.  
  
"Hey, Blaine. It's Kurt," he called. Again, it was a second before there was a response.  
  
"Oh.  _Oh_. Um… Just a second." Kurt bit back his smile as he heard Blaine shuffling around on the other side of the door. He really didn't need to clean up for him. Finally, Blaine opened the door wearing burgundy pants and an unbuttoned shirt over a tank. He looked relaxed and beautiful and as he smiled at Kurt, Kurt's stomach swooped. "Well, this is an unexpected surprise," he said as he backed up to let Kurt in.  
  
"Sorry for just dropping by without any notice."  _I didn't even know I was coming here,_ Kurt added to himself.  
  
"You know you're always welcome."  
  
Kurt looked around Blaine's little apartment. He'd been here before, but they mostly hung out at Kurt's, since it was so much bigger. Blaine's apartment was pretty tiny and crammed with books (as if the ones in the shop weren't enough) and Blaine's guitar and a keyboard and a vast Blue-Ray collection. It also had a lot of little touches that were just so  _Blaine_ : an old-fashioned camera, a shoe polish kit, a poster for the musical  _Little Shop of Horrors_. Kurt decided he loved it here. It even smelled like Blaine, books and rose oil.  
  
"Do you want coffee? I was just making some."  
  
"Blaine, it’s ten o'clock at night."  
  
Blaine shrugged. "I wasn't going to bed anytime soon."  
  
"You weren't getting ready to…" Kurt paused, choosing his words slowly. "To go out for the night, were you?"  
  
Blaine smiled and shook his head. "No, I'm all yours. I mean… not like… you know… I just mean I wasn't doing anything."  
  
Kurt held back a smile.  
  
Blaine beamed at him and then went to his cramped little kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Kurt followed him and leaned on the counter to watch him as he worked, loving the way Blaine's hips swayed as he measured out the water and how sure and smooth his hands were as he filled up the filter with coffee. God, he had it bad. Everything Blaine did was just so beautiful, and he was only making coffee, for crying out loud!  
  
"So what brings you by? Is everything okay?" Blaine asked over his shoulder as he switched the coffee maker on.  
  
"Yeah, fine. I was just out on a date and then in the area." And okay, maybe he hadn't necessarily been in the area, but that wasn't important right now, and was it his imagination or did Blaine's jaw tighten when he mentioned his date?  
  
"A date?" Blaine turned around to face him, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's nice. With that Nick guy from work?" Blaine swallowed and licked his lips and looked nervous for a moment, but then he smiled and waited for Kurt's answer.  
  
"No. Someone new. I met him at a coffee shop."  
  
"Did you have a good time?"  
  
"Yeah. I'd go out with him again if he’s interested."  
  
"He'd have to be an idiot not to be interested," Blaine said, turning his back to Kurt to grab some mugs out of his cabinet.  
  
_And yet, you're not interested_ , Kurt thought.  
  
Blaine didn't ask for any more information about Kurt's date, which was fine, because Kurt found he didn't really want to talk about it anyway. Blaine ended up making some popcorn over the stove, because of course Blaine wouldn't just make microwave popcorn, and then they found themselves sitting on Blaine's small love seat with coffee and popcorn and watching  _Brigadoon_.  
  
Kurt loved how easy things were between them, that he could show up at Blaine's with no explanation and Blaine would smile and pop in a movie because being together was just  _right_. Kurt found himself scooting closer and closer to Blaine as the movie went on, and despite having finished his coffee, Kurt was yawning and tired when he leaned his head down on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine didn't say anything. He just lifted an arm to fit over Kurt's shoulders and held him as Kurt began to drift off.  
  
Kurt wasn't sure how long he'd slept, but when he woke up, the DVD menu was playing on repeat, the room was dark and somehow there was a blanket over him. Kurt shifted a little and then drew in a soft gasp as he realized the surface next to him wasn't the loveseat but Blaine. They were both sprawled out with Kurt tucked between the back of the sofa and Blaine's warm sleeping body.  
  
Kurt let out a long breath as he looked at Blaine's peaceful face in the dim light of the room. He'd been this close to Blaine before, of course. They often spooned at the hotel together after sex. Somehow, though, this was different, tucked together under a blanket on Blaine's loveseat and Blaine's soft breath on his neck. Kurt settled back down again, telling himself he couldn't get up without waking Blaine and ignoring the way his heart tugged in his chest and thudded out how perfect he felt with every beat  
  
He looped an arm around Blaine, lightly holding him, and breathed him in as he let himself fall into the most restful sleep he'd had in weeks.  
  
"Good morning." A soft voice pulled Kurt out of his slumber and he blinked open his eyes to see Blaine standing near him. It took a moment for Kurt to remember where he was and why he was being woken up by Blaine – not that he was complaining. Then last night came back to him, his date with Sebastian and ending up at Blaine's, watching a musical and falling asleep in each other's arms. Kurt sat up from the loveseat and stretched his arms over his head, feeling a little stiff from not sleeping on a bed. He yawned and looked up to see Blaine smiling at him softly.  
  
"I've made more coffee if you want some. I wouldn't wake you up, but I have to go down and open the bookstore."  
  
Kurt nodded and noticed that Blaine was showered and changed and ready for the day.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."  
  
"Always welcome, Kurt, remember?"  
  
Kurt got up and groaned a little as his bones creaked. Blaine chuckled. "I should apologize for letting you sleep on the sofa, you just looked so…" Blaine trailed off and a light blush appeared high on his cheeks. "You seemed to need to rest."  
  
"Thank you. Sleeping here was nice." Kurt smiled and grabbed his phone from the coffee table to check the time. "Oh good lord, I need to hurry! I'm having breakfast with Elliot, and I don't want to keep you from your job."  
  
Blaine made Kurt a thermos of coffee to take with him and they both walked out together. Kurt couldn't help but think how nice and natural it would feel to lean in and give Blaine a kiss and wish him a good day. It would be so easy to just pretend they were a couple. He didn't kiss him, he waved goodbye as his heart sunk into his stomach. They weren't a couple. Blaine didn't see him like that, and Kurt… Kurt should call Sebastian.  
  
He pulled out his phone and dialed. Sebastian answered quickly.  
  
"Already thinking of me, I see."  
  
Kurt laughed. "Do you want to have dinner again this evening?"  
  
"Hell, yes, I would." Sebastian wasn't Blaine, no one ever would be, but Kurt was going to move forward if it killed him.

* * *

Kurt didn't notice the change at first, and when he did realize something was going on, he wondered how long he'd been missing it. It was subtle at first. Not as many text messages from Blaine during work. Shorter coffee dates during the week. Blaine seemed extra busy and wasn't able to come out with Kurt and his friends as often. Kurt finally noticed something was off one afternoon when he stopped by  _Fairytale Press_  just to see Blaine.  
  
"Hi!" Kurt greeted him as Blaine looked up from behind the counter. A smile immediately spread over Blaine's face and Kurt couldn't help the matching one he wore. Kurt folded his arms on the counter and leaned forward towards Blaine on the other side. "Slow day?"  
  
"So-so." Blaine said, motioning with his hand. "We've started getting busy later in the afternoons."  
  
Kurt nodded and then plopped his book bag onto the counter. "I brought that Swiss chocolate we sometimes get from clients at work. I know how much you love it." Blaine's face brightened even more as Kurt pulled out the chocolate.  
  
"I am  _so glad_  you came by."  
  
Kurt laughed. "Unfortunately, I can't stay too long. I have a date tonight."  
  
Blaine paused unwrapping the chocolate, and his face froze, "Oh… Um… same guy as you've been seeing?"  
  
Kurt and Sebastian had been going out for a couple weeks now, and every time they went out, Kurt told himself that would be the time he did it, that would be the time he slept with Sebastian. Every time he lost his nerve. He knew Sebastian was getting frustrated but trying not to show it.  
  
"Yes. Same guy. Sebastian."  
  
Blaine looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Sebastian?" he asked in surprise.  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Nothing." Blaine broke off a piece of chocolate and popped it in his mouth, and Kurt watched, transfixed, as he held it there, letting it melt before swallowing. "I just used to know a guy with that name. So… Things are going well between you two, then?"  
  
"Uh huh." Kurt answered absent-mindedly as Blaine licked his lips of chocolate and Kurt started feeling a little tingly. If only he didn't know how Blaine's lips tasted, maybe he'd be able to watch him eat like a normal human being. "I… uh…" Kurt shook himself. "Yes, things are going well with Seb and me."  
  
"Have you two slept together yet?" Blaine asked matter-of-factly.  
  
Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise, but really, considering what Blaine did for a living, he supposed asking about sex wasn't a big deal to Blaine. Still, something about his face seemed anxious. "We haven't yet, no."  
  
Blaine let out a breath. "Oh."  
  
"Why do you ask?" Kurt said, tilting his head and studying Blaine's face.  
  
"No reason," Blaine answered, not meeting Kurt's gaze, "I know you want to get more experience… in that area."  
  
It was Kurt's turn to sigh. "That's true… In fact, I think this evening might be the right time." Of course, Kurt had told himself that the last few times he'd gone out with Sebastian. "I know Seb is ready."  
  
Blaine's eyes widened a bit as he looked back up at him, and Kurt couldn't understand why Blaine suddenly looked a little shaken.  
  
"I mean, I'm ready too. You know I wouldn't do anything I wasn't ready for."  
  
"Right. Right." Blaine cleared his throat and his uneasy expression remained. "Thanks for the chocolate, Kurt, but really, I'm kind of busy right now."  
  
Kurt looked around the empty store. "Busy?"  
  
"We just got a shipment in that I should sort through."  
  
"I could help with that-"  
  
"No." Blaine shook his head. "I wouldn't want you to be late for your date. You should go."  
  
"I have time."  
  
"It’s  _fine,_  Kurt," Blaine said tightly, and Kurt felt his stomach drop. Blaine wanted him to leave.  
  
"I'll… just… go then," Kurt said in confusion, and Blaine nodded and turned to go to the back room. "See you later!" Kurt called to him, and Blaine sent him a distracted wave goodbye.  
  
Kurt stood on the sidewalk outside of  _Fairytale Press_  with his hands in his pockets, feeling dejected and bewildered. What had just happened? Blaine had never sent him away before. That's when Kurt started thinking about the decreasing text messages and how he really wasn't seeing as much of Blaine lately. Something was wrong. Blaine was pulling away. But why?  
  
Kurt bit his lip and started down the street to the subway station, his heart a heavy lump in his chest.

* * *

Blaine felt sick for the rest of the day, an unsteady weighty feeling in his stomach that made his hands clammy. He’d been feeling this way more and more, especially when Kurt talked about his new boyfriend. Okay, maybe not boyfriend, he didn’t know if they had an official title yet, they’d only been seeing each other a few weeks. It felt like lifetimes to Blaine. 

  
Blaine had convinced himself he could be just friends with Kurt. He loved Kurt and just wanted to be part of his life, but Kurt was going out with someone else and it was killing Blaine. And now it was even worse. Kurt was going to have  _sex_  with this guy,  _tonight_. Of course it made sense that Kurt would want to share that experience with the man he was seeing, but that didn't stop the thought from making Blaine want to throw up.  
  
He shuffled around the back room for a little while. He didn't actually have a new shipment to short through; he just couldn't be around Kurt right then. Not without blurting out how he really felt and ruining everything. Eventually, he went back up front and petered around until his shift was over. After that, he just wasted time reading in his apartment and when he couldn't focus on a book, flipping through the channels on TV.  
  
Eventually, his stomach started to growl and he realized it was getting late and he hadn't thought to eat. He made himself dinner, but it went mostly untouched. He couldn't eat when somewhere out there, Kurt was on a date with someone else. Maybe they were out for drinks or a show, or maybe they'd already gone back to Kurt's place, or this guy's place and right now they were… they were…  
  
Blaine stood abruptly from his small kitchen table, he pulled on a pair of shoes and smoothed down his hair and then he was out of his apartment and walking quickly to the nearest subway stop. He glanced at his phone and it was near 11:00pm. He didn't care. He was being unreasonable and he didn't care. He was going to Kurt's.  


Less than half an hour later, Blaine was standing outside of Kurt's apartment door and knocking loudly, not letting himself stop and think better of it. If he had, he would have turned away, but all sensible thought was clouded by,  _No no no, please, Kurt, don't be with him._  
  
After an agonizingly long moment, Kurt opened his door. He stood there in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, his hair a little mussed and his cheeks rosy. He was gorgeous.  
  
"Blaine?" Kurt's face was a mask of confusion. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"  
  
"Are you alone?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Is he here? Your date, Sebastian. He is here?"  
  
"What? No. What's going on?"  
  
"I needed to see you."  
  
Kurt folded his arms and looked at Blaine severely. "You didn't seem to want to see me this afternoon."  
  
"I was…" Blaine ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I know… I was acting like an idiot. I'm sorry."  
  
Kurt's face softened and he stood back from the door to let Blaine in.  
  
"What's going on, Blaine?" Kurt asked, his voice lighter now.  
  
Blaine looked at Kurt's bright blue eyes and then down to his perfect lips and took a deep breath before diving in. Blaine didn't even think, he just kissed him, holding Kurt's face as he moved their lips together. Kurt gasped in surprise, but only for a moment. Then his arms were around Blaine's shoulders and his fingers tangling in Blaine's hair. Blaine moaned, his body slumping against Kurt as everything he'd wanted seemed within grasp.  
  
"What… what is… this?" Kurt asked breathily as Blaine's lips moved to kiss down Kurt's neck in a way he knew always melted Kurt.  
  
"I don't know," Blaine answered hoarsely. "Can we just… not care what this is for a moment?"

  
" _Yes,_ " Kurt gasped as Blaine's hand found its way under Kurt's shirt to move up his back. Kurt moaned, and the sound made Blaine's mind spin. He brought their mouths back together and kissed Kurt deeply as he felt him tremble against him, or maybe Blaine was trembling, he really couldn't tell. Their hands started working fast, pulling at each other's clothing until with a little hop, Kurt was kicking off his pants and Blaine was losing his underwear and they stood by Kurt's closed door, naked and skin to skin, hands roaming and lips devouring.  
  
Blaine moved his hands down to grip Kurt's ass, and with a groan Kurt thrust their hips together. Blaine almost shouted at the sensation, and then Kurt went further, lifting a leg and wrapping it around Blaine. Blaine took that cue and lifted Kurt up, still holding on to his firm ass as Kurt shifted and let his legs wrap around Blaine's waist. Blaine shuddered and backed them up forcefully until Kurt's back slammed into the wall and their hips jutted together again. Kurt let out a sound that could only be called a mewl, and Blaine's arms shook with the effort of holding him up, but neither of them stopped kissing and holding and panting against each other.  
  
"Kurt, I…" Blaine started, but he was hushed by Kurt.  
  
"No no. Don't say anything."  
  
Kurt was gripping Blaine's back hard, and arched to press his ass back against Blaine's hands making it clear what he wanted from him. Blaine's whole body shook, bucking against Kurt. They were both hard and needy and Blaine lost his grip and Kurt started slipping down the wall. Instead of stopping him, Blaine just went down with him until they were a tangle of limbs on the ground, Kurt over Blaine. He looked down at Blaine with round dark eyes.  
  
"Don't move. Don't talk," Kurt commanded as he got up and hurried away.  
  
Blaine moaned and ran his fingers through his hair, needing Kurt to come back. It didn't take long before Kurt was kneeling down next to him and then hovering over him again. "Here," he said and shoved a bottle of lube into Blaine's hands. " _Please_ ," he whined, and that made Blaine want to do anything in the world for him.  
  
Blaine quickly squirted some lube on his fingers and then they were back behind Kurt again, working him open while their mouths stayed fixed to each other like they were both coming up from water and kissing was like breathing again. The position was hard on Blaine's wrist, as he was lying on the floor with Kurt spread out over him, but Blaine didn't care, he was so desperate right then that all that mattered was preparing Kurt as thoroughly and quickly as possible.  


Kurt's kisses started getting sloppier and sloppier and his breathing was heavy. "Oh god Blaine,  _yes_! Oh  _god_ ," he panted as Blaine's fingers stretched him open.  
  
Kurt was soon ready, and Blaine was trembling even more. He gripped Kurt's hips and flipped them over so that he was hovering over Kurt now. He looked Kurt in the eye for a long moment that was filled with words he didn't know how to say. Kurt looked back at him just as intently.  
  
"Condom?" Blaine finally breathed.  
  
Kurt shook his head no, and Blaine's stomach dropped. "I couldn't find one."

  
" _Fuck_." Blaine groaned and leaned his head against Kurt. Now what?  
  
"I don't care. I trust you. Let's just… Can't we just keep going?"  
  
"But, Kurt…"  
  
"I know you get tested all the time, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And I've… I've still only been with you.  _Please Blaine,_ don't make us stop now."  
  
Kurt face was so stunning, cheeks flushed and eyes bright, and his voice so plaintive, dripping with desire, that there was nothing Blaine could deny him in that moment. Blaine nodded his agreement and sealed their lips together again with a moan.  
  
Blaine moved his hand under Kurt and Kurt lifted his hips, easily hooking a leg around Blaine's waist as Blaine lined himself up, and with Kurt's help, started to ease himself into him. Kurt clung to him, panting and whining, and it took every bit of Blaine's self-control not to just snap his hips forward, but to make sure he was easy and careful with Kurt. Always cautious, because Kurt deserved that.  
  
Once Blaine had fully sheathed himself inside, Kurt looked up at him with parted lips and sparkling eyes. He wrapped his other leg around Blaine and hooked his ankles behind Blaine's back, clinging tightly to him and pulling him closer. Blaine kissed his lips sweetly and started to move, rocking slowly at first, but as Kurt's fingers started digging desperately into his back, he quickened his pace. Their sweat-slick skin was sliding together and their moans were filling the air.  
  
"Don't stop. Yes, oh god,  _Blaine_!" Kurt cried from under him and Blaine continued his rhythm, feeling warm all over as yearning pooled in his stomach.  
  
Blaine didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out if he spoke right now. In his head, the only thing he could think was,  _I love you, Kurt, I love you_ , but he didn’t dare to say it. After a while, a period of time Blaine had no way of judging, Kurt threw his head back. Blaine could feel Kurt’s heels digging into his lower back as Kurt let out a long shout – coming hard without even being touched. Blaine was right behind him, his climax tumbling through him and making his whole body shudder. He shouted Kurt's name and then collapsed on top of him. They were both panting and sweaty and lying on the floor of Kurt's entryway. Blaine had never felt better.  
  
Kurt was the first to recover, kissing Blaine and then rolling him off him so they were lying side by side on Kurt's wood flooring. Kurt blinked at him and smiled and Blaine reached out to wipe a tear from Kurt's cheek with the pad of his thumb. Kurt took in a long shaky breath and Blaine was scared of what he would say – but instead he just started laughing.  
  
He held his stomach and laughed so hard his whole face flushed pink. "We are… buck-naked… lying on my f-floor!" Kurt laughed.  
  
A smile quirked on Blaine's lips until he was laughing too. "Oh  _god_." His cheeks hurt with the force of it. "Have you even mopped recently?"  
  
Kurt started laughing harder, tears rolling down his cheeks. "This is ridiculous." He sat up, breathing deeply to calm his laughter, and held out a hand to Blaine. "Shower?"  
  
Blaine nodded and followed him to the bathroom, where they showered together, kissing each other slowly and letting their hands wander. They didn't say much, neither of them wanting to break the moment with reality. After they were clean, Kurt tossed Blaine a pair of pajama bottoms and they both climbed into bed shirtless and cuddling close.  
  
"I'm glad you came over," Kurt said with a yawn as he pillowed his head on Blaine's chest.  
  
"Me too." Blaine let his fingers trail softly up and down Kurt's back and was still awake and troubled long after Kurt's breaths evened out in sleep.


	11. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello everyone! I wanted to let you know that we are nearing the end of this fic, I didn't want you to pull up the last chapter one day and be surprised it was over - so yeah we have just a little more after this update. Thanks again to my beta KathoraKiryu who makes life so much easier for me. :D And thank you all for reading. Enjoy!

Blaine rolled over, still half asleep, and looped his arms around a nearby pillow and hugged it close, but woke up quickly when the pillow breathed softly on his neck. He blinked his eyes open and smiled as they focused on the person in his arms. Kurt. Pale skin and rosy lips and bed mussed hair. Sleeping soundly and breathing through parted lips as his eyelashes fanned his face. He was the most perfect sight Blaine had ever seen.  
  
Last night had been amazing, he could hardly believe he'd just stormed over here the way he did but it had been worth it. Waking with Kurt in his arms was like so many dreams he'd had the past few months come to life. It was perfect, but for how long? Blaine's heart beat double time in his chest because even though right now everything was just how he wanted it, as soon as Kurt woke up that could all change.  
  
Would Kurt regret last night? Would he want an explanation? What could Blaine tell him besides the truth? That he loved him.  
  
There was of course a chance that Kurt felt the same way,  _oh please let it be so_. He knew Kurt cared about him and last night had shown him there was  _something_  more. The problem was that there was one thing Blaine just couldn't get over. Why would someone like Kurt want to be with someone like him? Kurt had his life together, a college degree, a well-paying job, a nice apartment, and great friends.  
  
And Blaine… Blaine was a college drop out that lived behind a bookstore and had sex with people for money. Kurt deserved better, Blaine wanted better  _for_  him. It had been gnawing at him for a while now, Blaine wanted better for himself – he just felt stuck.  
  
Blaine was pulled out of his troubling thoughts when Kurt shifted in his arms and then let out a yawn as his clear blue eyes fluttered open. Seriously, how flawless could one person be?  
  
Kurt instantly smiled at him when he was awake enough to register Blaine there, and then leaned forward to press a soft kiss against Blaine's lips. Blaine smiled into the kiss holding on to this moment for as long as he could.  
  
"Good morning." Kurt sighed happily.  
  
Blaine was too overcome to respond right away, instead he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Kurt's kissing the bridge of his nose while Kurt chuckled. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's back and held him close, his skin warm and soft against Blaine's chest.  
  
"Mmmm." Kurt hummed. "I don't know the last time I felt this peaceful."  
  
Blaine wondered what was going on in Kurt's mind, because as much as lying in bed with him felt like bliss, Blaine couldn't say he exactly felt  _peaceful_. They  _had_  to talk about last night, if they just went on like nothing had happened it would probably kill him.  
  
Blaine scooted away just enough so he was able to look Kurt in the face without going cross-eyed. "So last night was…"  
  
"Amazing. Perfect. Everything I've wanted for so long." Kurt answered him, but when Blaine didn't respond he saw a brief flash of worry behind Kurt's eyes. "What- what was it for you?"  
  
"It was… unexpected." Blaine answered slowly trying to find the right words.  
  
" _You_  came to  _me_  Blaine. You kissed  _me_." The smile was slipping from Kurt's face and slowly replaced with apprehension.  
  
"I know. I know – but it wasn't planned. It just kind of happened."  
  
Kurt shook his head, the soft content look on his face vanishing as he sat up in bed. "You regret it?"  
  
"No!" Blaine sat up next to him. "Far from it. Last night was… it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I in no way regret it."  
  
Kurt nodded, but his eyes looked uneasy. "Then what was last night? I'm sorry to ask. I wish I could just shrug it off as a good time and move on, but I'm not like that. Sex means… it means a lot to me. It's more than just sex… it's…" Kurt stopped and swallowed deeply as if he wasn't able to go on.  
  
"Kurt." Blaine scooted forward and held Kurt's face in his hand. "Sex to me has always just been  _sex_. Except with you. With you it's more and last night was…" Blaine closed his eyes and thought.  _Last night was finally being free with the man I'm desperately in love with._  He opened his eyes and smiled. "It was perfect. I know we've slept together before, but last night was different. It… it was just you and me."  
  
"It's always just been you and me." Kurt said in confusion.  
  
"And the escort agency. Always the escort agency between us."  
  
Kurt's eyebrows furrow and he looked deep in thought, " _Oh Blaine_." He finally breathed out. "After our first time together you were  _never_  an escort to me. Honestly, even that first time it didn't feel that way. I know I paid but… It wasn't like that. It's always just been me…" He took Blaine's hand and pressed it against his chest over his heart. "And you."  
  
Blaine blinked quickly and looked down at the bedspread trying not to cry.  
  
"And I know I wasn't paying what you usually charge." Kurt added mischievously.  
  
Blaine's head snapped up at that.  
  
"I know what I paid and I know what Mercedes paid for."  
  
"I just…" Blaine cleared his throat feeling awkward, "After I met you I had you only pay the agency's fees. I, um, I couldn't take money for that."  
  
Kurt smiled and leaned in wrapping his arms around Blaine's shoulders and kissing him softly. It didn't take long for the kiss to grow into something more, heady, deeper. Blaine moaned as he fell backwards on the bed holding onto Kurt as they kissed, warm chests pressed together and lips enthusiastic and worshipful. Blaine had so much he wanted to say but words seemed impossible with Kurt's lips on him and the weight of his body holding him down. Kurt's hands smoothed over his skin making his hair stand on end.  
  
"I love you." Kurt panted hotly against his skin.  
  
Blaine's eyes, which had fluttered closed in delight, opened wide. "What?"  
  
Kurt backed up and looked down at him his eyes dark and his eyebrows raised. "I-" He licked his kiss plump lips. "I love you, Blaine."  
  
Blaine took a long deep breath as the world seemed to freeze around him. He sat up quickly and Kurt knelt next to him.  
  
"I'm sorry." Kurt said in a small nervous voice. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have said it, but…" He closed his eyes. "I've felt it for  _so long_."  
  
Blaine shook his head even though Kurt couldn't see him. " _Why_?" He eventually asked, though that wasn't even remotely close to what he meant to say.  
  
Kurt opened his eyes again. "Why?" He looked completely perplexed. " _Why_  do I love you? How could I not Blaine? You're so good and kind and you make me happy and you make me feel brave and I just want to be with you -" Kurt's voice was breaking when Blaine reached out to cup Kurt's neck and smooth his thumb over his soft skin.  
  
"No Kurt, I mean… I know what I am and so do you. How could you want me… when you know that?"  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"That…" Blaine's heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. "I'm a prostitute."  
  
Kurt shook his head quickly. "Don't say that."  
  
"It's true though. Could you really be with someone you know is… is out on a night doing what I do?"  
  
Kurt's cheeks flushed and his eyes looked teary. "It would be so much better than where I am now, just always  _wanting_ … wanting  _you_."  
  
Blaine couldn't believe what he was hearing, was it possible that this was happening? All the times he'd imagined this moment it was never as beautiful and perfect as this. Kurt loved him. Kurt actually  _loved_  him.  
  
"Unless…" Kurt said slowly. "Unless you don't-"

"I love you." Blaine burst out. "I started falling for you the first time I laid eyes on you. Kurt, I am so desperately in love with you I can feel it with every beat of my heart. I  _love_  you."  
  
Kurt's face was a mask of surprise for a split second and then he burst out in a joyful laugh. Blaine grinned broadly and surged forward kissing him again. Kurt clung to his back and they soon toppled down on the bed. Blaine moved his lips against Kurt's letting the tip of his tongue press forward and swipe against Kurt's before tugging lightly on his bottom lip sucking on it. Kurt moaned and Blaine deepened the kiss, his hands mirroring Kurt's as they traveled down to slide under Kurt's pajama bottoms and hold onto him.  
  
Kurt worked Blaine's pants down off his hips and soon had both of them in hand, pumping slowly back and forth as they groaned and writhed against each other.  
  
"Oh god Blaine!" Kurt cried as Blaine twisted his body so he would rub against Kurt just right. From there they were all messy kisses and twisting bodies until Kurt ended up over Blaine rolling his hips so every slide was sweet agony. Soon, with sweat running down his skin Blaine snapped his hips up to meet Kurt, and shouted Kurt's name as he came. Kurt bit lightly down his neck, still bucking until he came with a deep moan and Blaine's name breathy on his lips.  
  
Kurt stayed on top of him a moment just kissing his neck and tasting his skin until he rolled to the side with a contented sigh.  
  
"Oh god… Blaine." Kurt panted as he slid down to lay next to him, their arms and legs still tangled together.

Blaine smiled at him, feeling like he could float away on the feeling he had right now. Everything that just happened had been quick and intoxicating, and perfect like every time with Kurt.  
  
Kurt yawned and then smiled a little dopily. "Say it again."  
  
"What?" Blaine teased. "I love you?"  
  
Kurt nodded his eyes sparkling.  
  
"I love you." Blaine kissed his cheek. "I love you." He kissed his forehead. "I love you." He kissed his eyelid. "Kurt, I love you." He kissed his lips and Kurt tangled his fingers in his hair. They would have kept going from there but they were interrupted by the chirping of Kurt's phone.  
  
Kurt kept one arm around Blaine as he awkwardly turned to grab his phone off the night stand. "Oh my god! I'm going to be late for work." He sat up in the bed and Blaine followed suit. "I'm going to have to shower first, we always get so messy." Kurt said but his smirk made it clear he didn't mind.  
  
"It's okay Kurt, go get ready."  
  
Kurt got up from bed and pulled his pants back up before leaning over Blaine to kiss him again. "I love you too."  
  
Blaine watched him go enjoying the way he moved and then just lounged in bed as Kurt showered and got ready for the day. Blaine couldn't help the ridiculous smile on his face. He'd been such an idiot. Kurt loved him. All this time he'd been so afraid, but still Kurt had loved him. He should have said something long ago, thank god Kurt was braver than he was.  
  
Once Kurt was ready to go he came back to the bed kneeling beside Blaine. "You can stay here as long as you like." He said with a kiss.  
  
"We should have dinner tonight." Blaine suggested and really the smile on his face might just be a permanent part of his expression now, he couldn't stop it.  
  
Kurt grinned. "Like a date?"  
  
"Exactly like a date."  
  
"Yes, I would love that." Kurt leaned forward and kissed him again long and sweet before getting up and rushing out of the apartment so he wouldn't be late for work.  
  
Blaine got up soon after that, took a shower and went out to the front room to find the clothes he'd torn off yesterday. Kurt had folded and placed them nicely on the entryway table. Blaine smiled at that, it was such a Kurt thing to do. He got dressed and stripped Kurt's bed starting a wash and putting on fresh sheets for him. He was almost done when he heard Kurt's ring tone. He tilted his head and tried to hear when it was coming from. He looked around the room and finally knelt down to look under the bed, before he found it. Kurt must have been in such a hurry he'd forgotten it and Blaine must have dropped it when he took the sheets off.  
  
The phone had stopped ringing, but as Blaine held it a text massage came in, the sender's picture popping up on the screen with the message: "Looking forward to seeing you for coffee today." With the time and the name of the coffee shop across the street from Blaine's bookstore.  
  
Everything hit Blaine at once, Kurt had a date today – and that wasn't even the worst part. Not only did he have a date, he had a date with someone's whose picture Blaine immediately recognized.  
  
Sebastian Smythe.  
  
Blaine swallowed deeply his chest feeling hollow as he sat down on the bed. Kurt's Sebastian was the  _same_  Sebastian Blaine had gone to high school with? How could was that possible? New York was a huge place, why did Sebastian Smythe of all people have to be a part of Kurt's life?  
  
Sebastian had made Blaine's life  _miserable_  in high school, he was the reason Blaine had quit the Warblers. Three years of Sebastian trying to get into his pants and starting rumors about him when he said no – repeatedly.  
  
The night a couple of years before when the man had approached Blaine in a club thinking Blaine was a prostitute it was Sebastian's words that had echoed in his head. "No one is ever going to love someone like you Blaine, you should give it away while anyone still wants it." He couldn't put the blame on Sebastian for the fact that he'd started working as an escort, that had been his own choice, but Sebastian's cruel words had spurred him on.  
  
Blaine felt sick. How could Kurt go out with someone like Sebastian? He hated the thought of them together, Seb's hands on Kurt, maybe even his lips on him. How much had they done together? Blaine sprang up from the bed. He couldn't think about it. He pocketed Kurt's phone to bring it to him and hastily left Kurt's apartment.

* * *

Kurt was at work before he realized he'd left his phone at home. It wasn't a big surprise; his mind had been very pleasantly occupied by other things that morning. It was annoying though because he wanted to text Blaine all day, but he'd just have to wait until he got home. It wasn't until he was almost done with work that he remembered Sebastian.

  
Kurt froze at his desk, how could have he forgotten the guy he'd just been out with the day before and who he had a coffee date with today? Actually, the answer to that question was easy. Blaine, that was how. Blaine who came to him last night. Blaine who was  _in love with him_. Blaine who he was going to go on a date with this evening. He could hardly curb his excitement.  
  
Yeah, he needed to talk to Sebastian.  
  
Last night Kurt had been prepared to sleep with Sebastian, after their date they had made it all the way back to Seb's place and then onto his couch where Sebastian had crowded over him and they'd spent a good quarter of an hour making out. Then Seb suggested they take things to the bedroom and Kurt had lost his nerve again. He was so glad now that he did. Sebastian had been visibly irritated, but Kurt just made a quick excuse and ended up at home in a restless sleep when Blaine had come knocking on his door and changed  _everything_.  
  
Kurt would meet Sebastian for coffee do his best to explain and then still have time to touch base with Blaine and see what their dinner plans were. He should feel bad about Seb, but he knew they weren't exclusive and Seb was probably more interested in getting into Kurt's pants than he actually was in him. It would be fine.  
  
Kurt arrived at the coffee shop early and snagged a table by the window so he could look out across the street at  _Fairytale Press_ , he leaned on his hand and smiled as he pictured Blaine, bowtie clad and adorable, helping a customer, or cleaning the front, or shelving books. Kurt wanted to run across the street and kiss him silly, but he had to deal with Sebastian first.  
  
Kurt didn't even look up when the door to the shop chimed and still didn't look until someone standing by his table cleared his throat. He glanced up and his smiled grew even wider when he saw Blaine standing there looking down at him and shifting on his feet.  
  
"Blaine!" He leaped out of the chair and gave him a hug, Blaine felt a little stiff but he held Kurt back. They broke apart and Kurt beamed at him. "Did you see me come in?"  
  
"No." Blaine shook his head. "You left your phone at your apartment this morning." He held it out for him to take and Kurt couldn't quiet read his expression but it seemed off. "I just wanted to give it back to you."  
  
"Thank you." Kurt said still smiling and trying to figure out why Blaine wasn't, he couldn't have changed his mind about them since this morning.  
  
"I was kind of… hoping you  _wouldn't_  be here." Blaine continued.  
  
Kurt furrowed his brow, why would Blaine not want him here? Then again how did he know Kurt would be here at all- oh. Oh god. " _Blaine_." Kurt started but didn't have a chance to finish.  
  
"I'll go, I wouldn't want to be here when your date arrived."  
  
"No! Wait!" Kurt held Blaine's arm so he wouldn't go. "It isn't a date. It's just… I'm breaking up with him. I didn't have my phone, but I knew he'd be here. Blaine, I don't want Sebastian. I only want you."  
  
"Sebastian." Blaine still looked bleak. "Sebastian Smythe. I know him."  
  
"You know him?" Kurt didn't understand. "Here Blaine, sit with me, please."  
  
Blaine sat down and started to look a little more at ease. "So you're really here to break up with him?"  
  
"Of course!" Kurt said letting a little frustration show, he had just told Blaine he loved him this morning, there was no reason for him to doubt him now. "I told you I loved you and I meant it, you really think I'm here to date someone else.  _Blaine please_." He rolled his eyes as if it was the most ridiculous idea in the world because really it was.  
  
Blaine started to smile little. "Sorry, this is still new. I don't…. I don't know what I was thinking."  
  
"It's okay." Kurt said reaching to hold his hand over the table. "Now, how do you know Seb?"  
  
Blaine stiffened a little. "We went to high school together."  
  
"In Ohio? The private school you rarely talk about?"  
  
"Sebastian is one of the reasons I don't like to talk about it. I ran from my old school and then…. Even at Dalton I wasn't brave enough to stand up to him. I've… I've never been brave enough to do what I should do."  
  
"He bullied you?" Kurt's heart started feeling tight in his chest.  
  
"No – it wasn't that easy. Dalton had a zero tolerance bulling policy. He was more subtle; he just spent three years trying to convince me to sleep with him." Blaine met his eyes. "I always said no."  
  
"Oh my god." Kurt's stomach hurt, all this time he'd been going out with someone who had made Blaine's life harder. He hated that. "I am so sorry."  
  
Blaine finally gave him a true smile. "It isn't your fault it was just a shock today – to see him texting you."  
  
Kurt squeezed their clasped hands. "I'm going to meet him this once and then it is just you and me, Blaine."  
  
Blaine opened his mouth to respond when their little happy bubble was burst by someone walking up to their table.  
  
"Well isn't this a crazy surprise."  
  
Kurt glanced away from Blaine to see Sebastian looking down at them with his hands casually in his pockets and a smirk on his face. "Here I come to meet my date only to find him holding hands with some other guy."  
  
Kurt would feel bad, except at the moment he was too furious at Sebastian for what he'd done to Blaine in high school. "Sebastian, I need to-" He didn't get to finish his thought though as Sebastian's eyes landed on Blaine.  
  
"Oh my god." His face broke out into a smile. "Blaine? Blaine Anderson?"  
  
Blaine cleared his throat and wiggled his hands away from Kurt's, Kurt wanted to keep hold of him, but knew he needed to let Blaine do what was most comfortable for him right now. "Smythe." Blaine responded coolly.  
  
"What the hell? I cannot believe this coincidence." Sebastian was grinning at him as if he didn't notice the scowls both Blaine and Kurt were sending him.  
  
"Yeah." Kurt said. "We were just talking about how we both know you."  
  
"Oh no." Sebastian pulled up a chair from a nearby table and sat in it backwards leaning his arms across the back. "It is way more than that, though the fact that you two know each other is wild, I was  _just_  looking Blaine up! I heard you moved to New York."  
  
"Why in the world would you want to look me up?" Blaine asked his arms crossed over his chest and making himself as small as possible in his chair. Kurt didn't like seeing him that way.  
  
"Oh you know." Sebastian said with an eyebrow arch and a wink. "For old time sake. So… are you two together?" He said pointing back and forth from Blaine to Kurt.  
  
"Listen Sebastian, I was meeting you here today to let you know that… Well, I think we should-"  
  
"Oh god!" Sebastian threw his head back and started to laugh. "Here I was hoping you'd suggest a threesome." He looked at Kurt and his smiled faded, his face looking cold. "But you're trying to break up aren't you? You're going to break up with me with your new boy toy sitting here?"  
  
"I'm sorry." Kurt said feeling railed up and not sounding sorry at all. "I didn't mean for it to happen this way. But Blaine isn't my  _boy toy_  and you and I were never serious."  
  
"Wait." Sebastian leaned forward to talk to Kurt, completely ignoring Blaine, "You aren't… you don't… have a side job do you, Kurt? Because I could make that work." His smirk had turned into a leer now and the way he leaned in shut Blaine off from the conversation all together.  
  
Kurt ignored that for the moment, he just wanted to get rid of Sebastian, any pity he would have had breaking up with him was long gone. "A side job?" He honestly had no idea what he was talking about.  
  
"All of this time I've been trying to get you in bed with me and is it true that I could have just… paid for it?"  
  
"What?" What Sebastian was implying finally hit home with Kurt. "No! Never! I'm not like that."  
  
"Hmmm."  
  
"You should go Sebastian." Blaine said, and Kurt glanced at him worriedly because something was wrong with his voice, it sounded choked off.  
  
"Oh should I? Am I interfering on Kurt's paid time? Has he purchased you for the evening?"  
  
Kurt's eyes winded and his throat felt clogged with anger. "You can't talk to him like that!"  
  
"Of course I can." Sebastian said waving his hand in the air breezily. "Like I said I looked him up. Don't you know what he does?"  
  
"Just go, Seb." Blaine forced out.  
  
"I know what he does." Kurt seethed. "And I don't care."  
  
"You don't care? You don't care that he's a  _whore_?"  
  
Kurt sprung to his feet. "He  _isn't_! How  _dare_  you. You are a slimy little snob that dresses like an obnoxious frat boy even though he is closer to thirty than twenty and you  _need to leave_."  
  
"Oh please." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You said you knew what he did, why get all upset when I say the word out loud? I found his escort listing just this morning. He gets paid to fuck strangers. That's pretty much the definition of a whore."  
  
Kurt's fist were balled and his was shaking head-to-toe. No one got to talk about Blaine like that. By now Sebastian had his phone out and was scrolling through, he stood to hold it up to Kurt's face. "See, one of New York's finest whores."  
  
Kurt looked down to see Blaine's profile on the escort site. "Get out of here." Kurt said in a low steely voice, "Go!"  
  
Blaine stood now too, he moved between them, his back to Sebastian ignoring him. "Kurt, it's okay. I don't care what he says about me. I should have never cared." He held out his hand to Kurt and Kurt took it and squeezed when he found it trembling.  
  
Blaine led him to the exit and away from Sebastian without a glance or word for him.  
  
"Fine you can go." Sebastian said following them out. "I still can't believe my luck, all that time and effort put into trying to loosen your tight pants back in school and now I'm finally going to get what I want."  
  
That made Kurt spin around, still clinging to Blaine's hand.  
  
"See." Sensation smiled wickedly as he held up his phone. "I just booked your ass for tonight. See you then, lover." He said and winked as he started to walk pass them.  
  
"How – You can't just – he doesn't –" Kurt sputtered far too angry to complete a sentence.  
  
Blaine just sighed wearily beside him. "It won't work Sebastian. I'll just call the agency and turn you down. I never have to take a job I don't want. And I'm sorry, but I've never wanted you."  
  
Anger flashed across Sebastian's eyes. He drew close using his height to look down at Blaine in fury, but he didn't speak until he turned to Kurt. "Doesn't matter, if it isn't me it will eventually be someone else. How do you manage to stand that Kurt? Knowing if not tonight than soon, someone else is going to fuck his ass? Someone like me."  
  
Kurt opened his mouth but no sound came out and his stomach dropped as Sebastian walked away.  
  
Blaine tugged on his hand making him move. "Come on, Kurt. Can we go back to my place?"  
  
Kurt nodded, anger still thrumming through him. He followed Blaine across the street and up to his apartment. It wasn't until he was sitting down on Blaine's sofa in his cozy little place before he started breathing evenly again. "I can't believe him. What a  _jackass_." Kurt fumed as Blaine sat next to him and scooted close.  
  
"Kurt, I don't want to talk about Sebastian, he is out of our lives and his words mean nothing to me."  
  
"But he called you-"  
  
"I've been called worse." Blaine said solemnly and that didn't make Kurt feel better at all. "We do need to talk about something though…"  
  
Blaine's face was so serious that it made Kurt's hairs stand on end, he wasn't going to like what Blaine said next, he could tell.  
  
"He wasn't wrong about what I do. And you said it yourself when he implied you were an escort as well. You aren't like that. But I am."  
  
"I didn't mean – I was trying to say I wouldn't sleep with him not that I thought there was anything wrong with what you do."  
  
Blaine nodded, "The thing is, I make money at the bookshop and working there means I get to live here, but it isn't enough. Without my job as an escort I don't make enough to get by on."  
  
"I'm not asking you to quit." Kurt assured him.  
  
"I know you aren't, but… I am going to have clients, I'm going to have days and evenings I can't spend with you because I'm with someone else."  
  
"Everyone has jobs." Kurt said desperately trying to ward off what he felt was coming.  
  
"You know it isn't the same thing. I'll be with other men. I'll be sleeping with them not just you, could you actually handle that?"  
  
"Yes." Kurt said resolutely even as his stomach plummeted at the thought. It would hurt, but it would still be better than not being with Blaine at all. Wouldn't it?  
  
Blaine sighed and as Kurt looked at him carefully he suddenly looked older than his years, there was a weariness there that was usually masked by his infectious smile. "Remember that night at  _Cure_  when you saw me with Dan- with a client?"  
  
Kurt swallowed and nodded.  
  
"The look on your face… I've never seen you so broken and knowing that I made you feel that way – I can't do that to you."  
  
"I can handle it." Kurt said but his voice trembled, seeing Blaine with that client had been a kick to the stomach that still made him ill to think about.  
  
"Maybe you can… for a while, but it would get between us eventually. This job of mine, it isn't something I can do and have a healthy relationship – maybe some people could… I don't think we can. Sebastian may be an ass, but what he said did make me realize what I'd be putting you through."  
  
"But Blaine-" Kurt wanted to argue, he wanted to insist they could do this, but he didn't know what to say. "I love you."  
  
Blaine looked like he was in pain. "I love you too, which is why I don't want to hurt you. Us being together  _will_  hurt you."  
  
"I thought… this morning everything was perfect and I thought we were actually going to be together. And now you're trying to tell me we can't? Do you honestly think  _this_  isn't hurting me?" Kurt's eyes stung and he wiped them with the back of his hand determined not to cry.  
  
Blaine looked like he was on the verge of tears as well he leaned his forehead against Kurt's and spoke so quietly it was as if the words were hurting his throat. "I don't want to hurt you at all, but I honestly believe it will hurt less now than breaking up later. I need to do this, the easy thing would be to just be with you, but in the end we'd resent each other and damage each other because of what I do for a living. For once in my life I'm going to be brave and do what I know I should… and let you go."  
  
"Blaine." Kurt didn't know what to say, and he didn't have a chance to say anything anyway as Blaine kissed him, tender and slow and a little salty from tears. Then he stood from the couch and walked to his front door.  
  
"We should probably not see each other, just for a little while at least."  
  
Kurt's emotions were a swirl inside of him, hurt and anger and confusion and so much love for this man who was currently ripping his heart out. He could see it in Blaine's eyes though, he wasn't going to back down from this. Not now at least.  
  
Kurt got up slowly from the couch and walked to the door.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Blaine couldn't even look at him and his voice was shaking.  
  
Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's arm and leaned in to kiss his hair. "I'm here when you're ready to see me again." And with that Kurt walked outside, down the stairs and stood on the sidewalk outside of  _Fairytale Press_  with a broken heart aching in his chest.


	12. Never Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Wow, wow, wow. I am so sorry for the long wait on this chapter - if you are still out there reading thank you so very much! And thanks to KathoraKiryu for beta-ing for me!  
> This is the end of the fic here - but I will be posting an epilogue soon(ish).  
> xoxo

Kurt laid curled up under a blanket on his couch, his cheeks tear stained as he sniffled and stared at his laptop screen. As soon as he got home he Skyped Mercedes, and gratefully she was available to take his call. He'd poured his heart out telling her about last night and this morning and how he'd finally told Blaine he loved him and that Blaine loved him back. And then he told her all about Sebastian and how everything had shattered so quickly.  
  
Mercedes listened a little teary-eyed herself, comforting him as best she could form across the country. "Oh sweetie." She used the pet name for the hundredth time. "I know it hurts right now, but do you think he might have been right?"  
  
"No." Kurt answered stubbornly. "He wasn't right. Isn't love supposed to trump everything else?"  
  
"Only in musicals, Kurt." She said with a kind smile. "Not always in real life."  
  
Kurt's heart ached in his chest, it was a physical pain and even though the rational part of his mind knew Mercedes was right, he wasn't really listening to the rational part of his mind right now.  
  
He should have never left Blaine's apartment. He should have stayed, he should have  _fought_  for them. He should have made Blaine see that he was  _so stupidly wrong_. Because no matter what, he and Blaine should be together, shouldn't they?  
  
Except Mercedes thought that Blaine had a point. But Mercedes wasn't in love with Blaine, she didn't  _know_  how miserable Kurt felt right now.  
  
"Kurt." Mercedes called from the screen and Kurt glanced back up at her wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry you are going through this."  
  
Kurt nodded. She'd said that already, but still it was nice to hear. He was surprised out of his conversation with Mercedes by a knock on the door.  
  
"And please forgive me Kurt?"  
  
"Forgive you?"  
  
"I had too, you shouldn't be on your on right now."  
  
Someone knocked more insistently on the door.  
  
"What did you do?" Kurt said sitting up on the couch.  
  
"I may have been texting Rachel this whole time?"  
  
"Oh god.  _Mercedes_! She doesn't even know about Blaine, I mean what he does for a living or that we've been  _sleeping together_!"  
  
"Kurt, she is one of your best friends and she loves you in that intense way that only Rachel Berry can pull off, don't you think you should just talk to her?"  
  
There was another louder knock on the door and then Kurt heard Rachel's voice calling, "I know you're home Kurt Hummel! Please let me in."  
  
Kurt sighed at the sound of her voice and suddenly he was glad she was here. Mercedes was wonderful, he loved her more than he could say, but she was 260 miles away in California and maybe he did need someone here with him right now. "Thanks, Mercedes." He said with a sincere smile and they said their goodbyes before Kurt logged off and went to answer his door.  
  
Rachel threw her arms around him as soon at the door was open, he didn't even get a good look at her before he had her in his arms. "Kurt, are you okay?" She backed up to look him in his tearful face.  
  
"What did Mercedes tell you?"  
  
"Only that you were heartbroken and needed a friend. I brought Ben  & Jerry's." She said holding up a grocery bag.  
  
Kurt smiled a little and went to grab two spoons from the kitchen. Soon he and Rachel were huddle together on the couch sharing a pint of peanut butter fudge ice cream.  
  
Kurt started at the beginning telling Rachel how he'd always let everyone think he'd had sex before, when really he was a virgin. About hiring Blaine for his first time and how everything just kind of snowballed from there. About him and Blaine trying to be just friends, but neither of them could manage that. About how Sebastian had come and shattered the delicate relationship they had just began. He apologized for not telling her all of this sooner and not letting her know that Blaine was his, "Mr. One Night Stand" and he told her how impossibly in love he was, but that Blaine didn't think they could be together.  
  
Rachel surprisingly listened without saying much, just sharing the ice cream and occasionally rubbing a hand up and down his back. When he was finished he let out a great sigh, every word hurt, but once it was all over he did feel little better. He looked up from the nearly empty pint and tried read Rachel's expression.  
  
Her face was scrunched up in thought, "So Blaine… he's a pros-"  
  
"An  _escort_." Kurt interrupted before she could say a word he hated.  
  
"Right. And you're in love with him?"  
  
"You think I couldn't be in love with someone who does what he does?" Kurt said defensively. "Rachel, he is still Blaine. Sweet, dashing, dorky Blaine. And I love him. I don't care what he does for a living."  
  
"No, I do get that Kurt. Anyone who knows you can see how much you love him. And Blaine is wonderful and you two are so good together… but…"  
  
"But what?" Kurt said back stiffening, if she said anything bad about Blaine he was going to let her have it.  
  
"I love Jesse. With all my heart, but I couldn't imagine sharing him with someone. I'm not saying you shouldn't be in love with Blaine, I'm just saying I think that Blaine may be right. Having to wait behind time and time again while you know he is off…  _having sex_ , with someone else. Wouldn't that just kill you?"  
  
Kurt bit his lip and looked away blinking back the tears that wanted to start again. "Yes." He finally answered. "It hurts to even think about it, but the alternative is not being with him at all and that hurts too." He looked back at Rachel. "What should I do?"  
  
Rachel sat the ice cream down and reached out to hold both of his hands in hers, "Kurt you aren't going to want to hear this, but I think you need to back away for now. Blaine asked for some time right? He thought you shouldn't see each other for a while? Well, I think you should respect that."  
  
Kurt's jaw clenched in displeasure, people kept telling him things he didn't want to hear. "And is that what  _you_  would do?"  
  
"No." Rachel answered immediately, "I would probably keep pursuing him until he was sick of me not listening to him when he asked for space - and then I would get all weepy and ruin any chance we had - and all the while  _you'd_  be telling me to back off and give him time. You're more sensible than I am, Kurt."  
  
Kurt was quiet for a moment, he pulled his hands out of Rachel's grip and hugged himself around his chest. "So by give him time… you think there is a chance this could still work out?"  
  
Rachel sighed, he knew he was being hard-headed, but he was just not ready to give up on Blaine yet. "Blaine is in love with you." Rachel answered. "I don't think he is going to stay away very long. Maybe he'll come to you? I really hope he does."  
  
Kurt nodded, looking down at the blanket across his lap and tugging a little on the threading. "And what if he doesn't come back to me? What if I lose him?"  
  
Rachel was quiet next to him until he looked up to meet her eyes. She was wiping a tear from her cheek. "How about this?" She said smiling a little too brightly for Kurt's liking, "I'll make you a deal – wait for a predetermined amount of time and if you don't hear from Blaine  _then_  you go talk to him. That way you've given him the time he asked for, but didn't give up on him."  
  
Kurt's tight chest seemed to relax a little at that, it let him look at this as a pause in their relationship and not the end. "And then I just have to… be okay with him being an escort?"  
  
Rachel shrugged. "He surely can't do that forever, right?"  
  
Kurt didn't answer, there were too many unknowns in this plan for him to feel a real sense of hope.  
  
"Okay how long do I wait?" Kurt was thinking a week at the most.  
  
"I don't know a month or so?"  
  
"What! No. Not that long. I could lose him Rachel." Kurt's heart started to hurt again. Rachel couldn’t really expect him to wait that long.  
  
"If he loves you now he'll still love you in a couple of months."  
  
"No." Kurt repeated shaking his head. "Two weeks."  
  
"One month."  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Three weeks. Tops."  
  
"Okay – fine. Wait three weeks. I bet he reaches out to you before than anyway."  
  
Rachel seemed to think it was a great idea and the problem solved, she picked up the ice cream and handed Kurt his spoon. "Want to watch a movie?"  
  
Kurt agreed, mostly because he was just exhausted and needed something mindless to do. Rachel was careful not to pick anything with a love story and they sat next to each other on the couch finishing up the ice cream and watching the movie. Or at least Rachel was watching. Kurt's mind was too occupied by the thought of curly hair, and a sweet smile, a kind voice and the feel of Blaine's lips on his skin to really pay much attention to the movie.

* * *

Deciding to give Blaine a few weeks to come to his senses before  _making_  him come to his senses, was a lot easier said than done. The next weeks of Kurt's life dragged on forever. He still wasn't sure what to do about Blaine's job as an escort, that was still going to be an issue, but it was an issue he was willing to work out and hopefully Blaine would be as well. If he could just get through the next 21 days.  


While he didn't  _directly_  try to see Blaine in those weeks, he did spend a lot of time at the coffee shop across the street from  _Fairytale Press._  "They have a really great mocha." Kurt explained to Rachel when she brought it up, "I know there are a lot of coffee shops in New York, but I just really like that one."  
  
Rachel had seemed less than convinced, but she'd still let it go.  
  
Even though Kurt sat in the coffee shop reading, or sketching or taking care of projects from work – and stealing glances across the street frequently – he only once caught a glimpse of Blaine. It was the first week of their "separation" and he saw Blaine walking down from his apartment in the back to open the bookshop.  
  
He looked as dreamy as ever in his rolled up pants, button down shirt and bow-tie, but was it Kurt's imagination or did he look very tired as well? Slower and with less life in his steps. It was everything Kurt could do not to hop up and go across the street, but he had promised himself he'd wait three weeks and he was doing his best to stick to give Blaine time.  
  
One week went by and he didn't hear from Blaine. Two weeks went by and he started having people call and text his phone to make sure it was still working. After nineteen days Kurt felt sick, he got up and went to work and did the things he had to do, but he wasn't sleeping well or eating much. His friends were getting worried.  
  
"Oh my god!" Elliot said one evening when they were all together. "The three weeks thing was just an arbitrary number Kurt – go see him!"  
  
Everyone knew the whole story now, and they all seemed to think waiting was a good idea. But now Elliot had enough.  
  
"He can wait two more days." Rachel protested.  
  
"No. No he cannot!" Elliot said gesturing to Kurt slumped in a chair nearby where they were all gathered in Rachel and Jesse's living room. "Go to him Kurt. Make it work. Stop torturing yourself!  _God_."  
  
Kurt looked at him and then Bryce who smiled encouragingly at him. Jesse even nodded his head before Rachel sighed, "Yeah okay. They are right. I hate seeing you this way. Go."  
  
"Right now?" Kurt asked sitting up straighter in his chair.  
  
" _Fairytale Press_  is still open." Rachel answered and he was on his feet before she finished the sentence.  
  
After what Kurt considered the most miserable weeks in his life, he was finally going to find Blaine and talk some sense into him! He smiled at his friends and rushed out of the apartment. He could admit to himself that he was disappointed that it wasn't Blaine who'd come back to him saying how foolish he'd been and of course they should be together because Kurt was all he could think about.. Even though that hadn't happened, Kurt still loved Blaine so achingly much, he just had to convince Blaine being together was worth any hard times they might have.  


Deep in the recesses of Kurt's heart he was still convincing himself he could share Blaine the way Blaine's job would demand, but he was ignoring the little voice that was whispering that it was going to hurt like the stab of a knife every time Blaine was with someone else.  
  
He went home and put on his best skinny jeans, and the blue and white patterned shirt he knew Blaine liked, made sure his hair was perfect and then hurried to  _Fairytale Press_. He went up to Blaine's apartment first and knocked on the door, bouncing on his toes in excitement and anxious nerves. When there was no answer he went around front to the shop, as he walked in the little bell on the door chimed and making his heart beat faster in his chest. He related this bookstore so closely to Blaine that the dusty smell of the books, and little twinkling lights immediately made his stomach swoop.  
  
There was a young woman behind the counter that Kurt had never seen before, she had strawberry hair pulled back in a ponytail and was leaning over the counter and reading a book. Kurt walked up and smiled, "Hi."  
  
The girl looked up surprised as if she'd been so intent in the book she hadn't even heard him come in. "Oh! Sorry! Hi there. Can I help you with something?"  
  
Kurt took a deep breath and stuck his hands in his pockets, "I was looking for Blaine actually. Is he working today?"  
  
"No. Ms. Anna opened and I'm closing today."  
  
"Oh." Kurt's heart dropped a little. "Okay – do you know if he will be in tomorrow?"  
  
The woman shrugged. "I really couldn't say, but I'm sure I could help you with whatever you need."  
  
Kurt shook his head, "Thanks, I'm good." He wondered around the store a little while as if Blaine would suddenly appear on one of the bookshelves, before heading back outside again and pulling his phone out of his pocket. He sent a short text to Blaine saying he was at  _Fairytale Press_. He hadn't texted him before coming over because he wanted to talk to Blaine in person, he didn't want Blaine to tell him they shouldn't talk over text message.  
  
Kurt waited and when there was no return text from Blaine he just bit the bullet and called.  
  
" _We are sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service-_ " Kurt pulled the phone back from his ear and looked at the screen. That had to be wrong. He hung up and tried calling Blaine again.  
  
" _We are sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again_."  
  
Kurt hung up, his throat feeling a little dry. He licked his lips and just stared at his phone as if it was a poisonous creature about to bite him. Blaine had changed his number? Blaine had changed his number and Kurt had no way of calling him now. Kurt shook his head in disbelief. Why? Why would he do that?  
  
He took a deep breath. It was okay, it would be okay. He still knew where Blaine lived and worked. He wasn't going to be able to talk to him right this moment like he had wanted, but he wasn't giving up.  
  
Kurt came back to  _Fairytale Press_  on Saturday, but again Blaine wasn't home or working. Kurt was disappointed but he pushed on, he came back on Sunday. He tried the bookshop first because Blaine usually worked some on the weekends. His heart fell when  _again_  it wasn't Blaine behind the front counter.  
  
It was an older woman, maybe her late fifties, gray hair cut to a bob at her chin and a long, sheer, flowy kimono on with big chunky jewelry. "Welcome to  _Fairytale Press_. Can I help you with something?" She greeted.  
  
"Um… I was hoping Blaine was working actually. I seem to keep missing him."  
  
The woman's smile dropped. "Oh I'm sorry Blaine doesn't work here anymore."  
  
It took a second for that announcement to sink in. There had to be a mistake. "What do you mean he doesn't work here? He lives in the apartment out back." Kurt said feeling a little agitated.  
  
The woman just shook her head. "Blaine was the best store manager I could have asked for, but he was too bright and motivated to keep doing this forever, I loved having him stay in my little apartment, but he moved out just a few days ago."  
  
Kurt didn't speak for a long moment, and when he did find his voice the only thing he could think to say was "No."  
  
"Excuse me?" The woman asked obviously confused.  
  
"He  _can't_  be gone. New job, new apartment, new number.  _No_." Kurt felt like something heavy was resting on his chest making it hard to breath. "I don't have any way of finding him!"  
  
"I'm sorry-" The woman started but Kurt was too flustered to let her finish.  
  
"Are you the owner? Is this store yours?"  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"Then you must know where Blaine is now. He left a few days ago? I missed him by a  _few days_?" Kurt was feeling nauseated now, like everything was just slipping through his fingers. "But you know. You know Blaine, how I can get in touch with him?"  
  
The woman just shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry dear, but if Blaine left and didn't tell you how to contact him I don't think it would be my place to give you that information."  
  
Kurt placed his hands flat on the counter and leaned forward, he could feel his eyes stinging but he held back his tears. "Please. You don't understand. I… I  _love_  him. And I need to talk to him. It is so so important."  
  
The woman placed her hand over one of his, her expression compassionate. Thank god, she was going to tell him.   
  
"I sorry." She repeated. "I truly am, but I still don't think I should. Blaine is such a good person, he has helped me so much these past couple of years and I can't give away information without asking him. But if you'll leave your name and contact information I can tell him you came by."  
  
Kurt wanted to argue, but he knew she was just looking out for Blaine, "Please." he tried again but she just sadly shook her head.  
  
"Do you have something I could write on?" Kurt asked feeling hopeless. "I could maybe leave him a note?"  
  
She smiled at that and pulled out a piece of paper from under the counter and handed Kurt a pen. Kurt's hand was trembling and he wasn't sure what to write. After a moment's indecision he scribbled down a message and folded it over before writing Blaine's name on it.  
  
"You'll make sure he gets this?" Kurt asked as he handed it to the woman.  
  
"Of course dear."  
  
Kurt nodded and slowly walked out of the bookstore. He really couldn't believe this was happening. Blaine had quit  _Fairytale Press_  and he wasn't living here anymore? Where could have he gone? What was he doing now? He hadn't gone back to  _Ohio_? Or maybe… maybe he'd started taking more jobs with the escort agency and could afford a better place now?  
  
Kurt leaned back against the brick wall of the bookstore and rubbed a hand over his head. This couldn't be happening. He'd lost Blaine. _He really lost him._ With no way to contact him or find him. After everything they had been through, was it really over? Kurt covered his face with his hands and held back a sob. He didn't know what to do now.

* * *

Blaine's stomach had ached for a week straight. It started with Sebastian in that coffee shop and had only gotten worse when he told Kurt they couldn't be together and he had left Blaine's apartment with a sweet kiss. Blaine knew he was doing the right thing, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like crazy.  
  
He felt like he was in a trance for days after saying goodbye to Kurt. Getting up, going to  _Fairytale Press_ , mindlessly shelving books and helping customers. He kept doing everything like normal, even taking a client in the evening now and again for extra cash like always, but it just didn't feel right.  
  
A week after breaking up with Kurt, a week without seeing or hearing from the man he loved, Blaine got a call from his boss. Not from Ms. Anna who owned  _Fairytale Press_  but from his other boss, the one who ran the escort agency.  
  
Diane was a fierce woman in her early forties who looked younger than her age. She had dark black hair and nails that were always painted red and she didn't take crap from anyone. When she called Blaine and asked him to come in and meet with her, he knew something was wrong.  
  
Blaine walked into her big, sleek monochromatic office and sat down in front of her desk as she finished up a phone call. He fiddled with the buttons on the cuff of his shirt and wondered if he was in trouble. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened with a client recently, he honestly couldn't think of why Diane would want to talk to him.  
  
When she hung up the phone she folded her hands on the desktop and didn't waste time with pleasantries. "We had a complaint about you."  
  
Blaine's brows shot up in surprise. He had never had a client complain about him, outside of one bad experience he'd had with a client who was too rough and in the end it was the client who was blacklisted. Nothing like that had happened in a while.  
  
And then the thought hit him, Sebastian. Blaine had called the agency the day he and Kurt saw Sebastian and told them he would not take a client by the name of Sebastian Smyth, but even then that was within company policy, how could Sebastian get him in trouble over that?  
  
"A complaint?" Blaine asked as he fidgeted nervously in his chair. "I don't understand."  
  
"I was surprised as well." Diane continued. "In the nearly two years you've worked for me you are one of the few I've never had a real complaint about. That is why I called you in today."  
  
"Who complained?"  
  
"Your client from last night. A Mr. Hughes."  
  
Blaine was even more confused now, last night had been a very normal evening for him. Dinner at a nice restaurant with his client and then back to his hotel room.  
  
"What… what did he say?"  
  
"That you were 'lack-luster'. He said he wanted someone lively and young and that you were dull and uninterested."  
  
Blaine winced at those words. "Uninterested" was one of the worst things you could say about an escort.  
  
He wouldn't lose his job over this would he? Not over just one complaint. What would he do if he lost this job… he needed this job… he… "I'm so sorry-" Blaine began, the twist in his stomach he'd been carrying ever since he last saw Kurt uncurling a little. If he lost his job...  
  
"No, no." Diane lifted a hand to stop him. "No need to apologize. As I said, in all the time you've been with the agency this is the first complaint I've received. I took care of Mr. Hughes and I'm not worried about that. I  _am_  concerned about you."  
  
Blaine nodded, her words hardly registering with him as his mind went a mile a minute – if he lost this job – he could be with Kurt.  
  
"I wanted to make sure you were alright? Hearing you weren't engaged is so unlike you I thought we should have a little chat about your job satisfaction, I want you to be happy with us, Blaine. Perhaps we haven't been compensating you correctly? Perhaps it is time for a raise?"  
  
Blaine finally snapped out of his reverie. "Wait… what? A  _raise_?"  
  
"You are one of our top employees Blaine. We want to make sure you see your career with us as fruitful."  
  
_Career_ , that word sat funny with him. But a raise.  _A raise._  A raise could mean less hours at the bookstore, or maybe no hours there at all. It could possibly mean going back to school. A raise could change his life.  
  
"I…" Blaine wet his lips. "This is unexpected."  
  
Diane smiled for the first time since he entered the office. "Well then let's talk numbers."

* * *

Kurt really couldn't cry himself to sleep again. This was getting ridiculous. He had a good life. A job. His family. Friends. He felt ashamed of being miserable all the time. He was fine before he'd ever met Blaine. He could be fine again.  
  
Except that wasn't completely true. He hadn't been fine. He had been lonely. A loneliness he hadn't felt since meeting Blaine and that now felt like it was consuming him. He was a strong person; he knew he could get by without Blaine Anderson. It was just so hard to convince his heart of that.  
  
It had been a month since Kurt had seen Blaine. He'd gone back to  _Fairytale Press_  a few times, but Ms. Anna hadn't been there. Instead the redheaded girl, who seemed to be the new manager, was usually there and she had no idea if Blaine had been by or if Ms. Anna had seen him. So Kurt didn't even know if Blaine had received his note.  
  
The thing was though. Kurt hadn't moved. Kurt still worked at the same place. Kurt was still had the same phone number. The hurtful truth was that if Blaine wanted to find him, he easily could.  
  
And it had been a month since he'd seen Blaine.

* * *

Blaine straightened his tie, a long skinny tie today instead of his normal bowtie and looked up at the tall, mirrored skyscraper. This was it then.  _It's been 31 days since you've seen Kurt._ A little thought interrupted him, he counted every day without Kurt and each one was worse than before. But today was a big day, a good day, he needed to focus on that. He took a deep breath and walked in plastering a smile on his face as he passed the receptionist and took the elevator up to the correct floor. The first day of his new life.

* * *

Kurt pulled open his book bag and withdrew some sketches he was working on for an important project at the office. He spread everything he needed out on the table and then took a sip of his non-fat mocha. He looked out across the street at  _Fairytale Press_. He honestly didn't expect to see Blaine there; it was just comforting to look across at the building that had housed so many wonderful memories of them together. He clenched his jaw, no time for tears he had work to do, and turned back to his sketchbook. Time to get back to work.

* * *

Blaine felt like he was walking on air. Today had gone so much better than he could have hoped for. He hoped on a subway train and held onto the bar as the train swayed, loosening his tie and smiling to himself. He felt good. Light and breezy and more at ease with the world than he had been for years. He really had no idea how much his old job had weighed on him until he'd quit. He thought back to that afternoon in Diane's office. The afternoon that had changed everything and made him a new man.

* * *

"Well then let's talk numbers." Diane had said with a smile.

Blaine had just blinked at her. With a raise he wouldn't need two jobs, he could afford an apartment away from the bookstore. He could possibly start taking classes again. It wasn't like his pay at the agency had been skimpy before, even if most of his fee lined Diane's pockets, but still this could mean  _everything_  to him.  
  
"I'm thinking a percentage raise." Diane continued. "Maybe-"  
  
"I quit." Blaine said without thinking, without letting himself second-guess what he knew he needed to do.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Diane. The agency has been good to me, but I… I quit." A smile started tugging on his lips and something was stirring deep inside of him. The thought of being fired had actually lit something in his chest and for a second he could picture a life without the agency.  
  
He wanted that.  
  
"But Blaine… You could make so much money here. You know you aren't going to find anything that pays as well as this." Diane argued. "Like I said we don't want to lose you. If this is an angle to get me to up your raise-"  
  
"It isn't." Blaine said his smile now growing into a grin. "I quit. I… I  _quit_." He hardly held back a laugh.  
  
"Really?" Diane's smile was gone and she drummed her red nails against the desk.  
  
"This isn't the life for me, Diane. Remember when we first met? You said I didn't have the face of an escort and that that would only help me in this job? The thing is - I don't think I have the _heart_ for it any more. I can't… I need out."  
  
"So you quit?"  
  
"I quit." Blaine stood from the desk and after looking him up and down, Diane stood too.  
  
"Blaine, I'd really like to talk you out of this."  
  
"You can't." Blaine said resolutely.  
  
Diane paused for a moment. "I believe you." She finally smiled again and held out a hand to shake. "We are sorry to lose you Blaine, the agency is sorry that is. I will say though, for myself, that I think you are doing the right thing, I can tell when this life is getting to someone. Go Blaine. Don't look back."  
  
Blaine shook her hand warmly and then turned to leave. The door shut behind him and he dropped off his company paid phone at the front desk – and then he walked out of the building and took a deep breath of fresh air.   
  
He didn't look back

* * *

Blaine was jerked out of his memories by the training halting. It was his stop so he slipped out and then followed the familiar route to  _Fairytale Press_.  
  
Quitting the agency had been a huge step in the right direction for him, without the agency he could be who he wanted to be, without the agency he could be with  _Kurt_. Quitting  _Fairytale Press_  had been harder. The owner, Ms. Anna had always been so kind to him.  


It had been one of the things he needed to do before he could try to win Kurt back, but after his first day at a new job and finding a new place to live, it seemed like maybe it was  _finally_  time to go to Kurt and  _beg_  him to give them another chance.  


He walked into  _Fairytale Press_ knowing Ms. Anna would be there this evening and wanting to share his first day at the new job with her.  
  
"Blaine!" She called out with a smile and then gave him a big hug. "So how is the big job?"  
  
Blaine was bursting to tell someone all about it, and he pushed aside the thought that as much as he appreciated his old boss, what he really wanted was tell all of this to Kurt.  


"Oh I almost forgot!" Ms. Anna said before he could start "A young man came by looking for you a week or so ago."  
  
Blaine's heart speed up. "Really? Who?"  
  
"I don't remember a name but…" She walked behind the front counter. "He did leave you this!" She said triumphantly pulling out a folded piece of paper with his name written on the front in what was clearly Kurt's handwriting.  
  
Blaine froze and licked his lips nervously before slowly reaching for the paper. A note from Kurt _. Please don't be a goodbye, please I don't say I've missed my chance._  
  
Blaine unfolded the paper and held on to it with slightly trembling hands as he read,  
  
Blaine,

I don't know where you are or how to find you. It is like you just disappeared from my life and I hate that. Things shouldn't have gone this way – I should have never left you without fighting harder. Because maybe in life sometimes you do need more than love, but I think what we have is worth fighting for. I hope you get this message soon. Because this hurts too much and I miss you.

Please call me. I love you.

Yours,  
Kurt  
  
Blaine could hardly make out the last words of the note, his eyes were stinging with tears. He'd never wanted to hurt Kurt, he honestly was just trying to do what was right, but now he knew he couldn't wait any longer. He had to talk to Kurt.  
  
"Blaine, is everything alright?"  
  
"I… I have to go." Blaine said his throat tight with tears. "I'm sorry – I'll explain later." He turned and rushed out of the shop his heart thrumming against his chest. He looked down at the note and then pulled out his new phone quickly dialing Kurt's number.

He had already made Kurt wait too long.

* * *

Kurt was putting finishing touches on a sketch for work, but his heart really wasn't in it, all he could think was that it had been 31 long days since he'd seen the man he loved. He jumped a little when his phone rang. He glanced at it and didn't recognize the number. He usually didn't answer when that happened, but ever since he'd tried to call Blaine and found out he no longer had his number, he'd been answering every phone call. He would  _not_  miss Blaine if he chose to reach out.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Kurt?" A warmly familiar voice came through the phone.  
  
Kurt held on tighter his heart leaping to his throat. "Blaine?"  
  
"Oh god Kurt, I'm so sorry. I've been an idiot. I wanted everything to be perfect before I contacted you, but I should have called as soon as I set things in motion. And I… I miss you too and I am so, so sorry."  
  
"Wait… slow down. What are you saying?" Kurt said, just the sound of Blaine's voice making his heart soar.  
  
"I got your note from Ms. Anna. I didn't mean to leave you hanging. I know I did… but I was just trying to get my life together first."  
  
"Get your life together?" Kurt said breathlessly, "You wanted to get your life together before what?" Kurt couldn't stand the hope that was blossoming in his chest, if Blaine still didn't want to be with him then it was going to rip Kurt apart.  
  
"Before I asked you to take me back." Blaine answered, his voice sounding shaky.  
  
" _Blaine_." Kurt stood from the table but found his legs to be a little wobbly and sat back down again.  
  
"I don't work at the book shop any more. Or live there."  
  
"I know." Kurt covered his mouth as tears started to fill his eyes.  
  
"And I don't work for the escort agency anymore either."  
  
Kurt let out an involuntary little laugh, relief swooping through his body like a cool breeze. "That I didn't know."  
  
"I have a job at a publishing house – Ms. Anna helped me get it. I'm an assistant, but it could open the door for other things later on. And... and I'm going to go back to school."  
  
"I'm so happy for you, Blaine." Kurt said wiping a tear from his check.  
  
"And I moved a few blocks down. Closer to your place actually. I have a roommate, her name is Dani, and things… things are good."  
  
Kurt laughed again and chewed on his lip not knowing what to say.  
  
"I wish I could tell you all of this in person. Where are you right now?"  
  
Kurt sniffed a little and smiled. "I'm at the coffee shop across from  _Fairytale Press_  actually. I was just thinking about you, Blaine, I'm always thinking about you."  
  
There was silence from the other end for a moment and Kurt held his breath.  
  
"You're kidding me."  
  
"No." Kurt shook his head. "Don't you think about me too?"  
  
"Kurt. Always. Everything I've done has been with you in mind. So that maybe I could deserve you."  
  
"You never had to do anything-" Kurt started but Blaine stopped him.  
  
"I'm across the street."  
  
Kurt stood up again and looked out the window and sure enough there was Blaine standing across the street outside of  _Fairytale Press_. He was wearing a gray suit and a loosened tie and his hair was a little disheveled like he'd been running his hands through it. He was the single best thing Kurt had ever seen.  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"Stay there." Blaine said. "I'm coming over."  
  
Kurt walked to the window as Blaine hurried across the street, each step he took made Kurt's heart beat faster. He kept the phone to his ear and rushed outside.  
  
"I see you!" Blaine called as he ran across the street dodging a cab.  
  
"Careful! Don't you dare get hit by a car on your way over here!" Kurt cried his smile still taking over his face.  
  
Blaine made it to the sidewalk and they both let down their phones. Blaine stopped a foot in front of him, eyes shining and breath uneven. "Hi." He said and swallowed deeply.  
  
Kurt smiled back feeling like he was going to cry all over again. "Hi."  
  
"I'm sorry." Blaine began. "I should have never-"  
  
Kurt didn't let him finish; instead he rushed forward throwing his arms around Blaine and crashing their lips together. Blaine immediately reached up to hold Kurt's waist tugging him impossibly closer. Kurt's fingers were in Blaine's hair as their lips moved together, sloppy and needy, bumping teeth and noses. Kurt didn't care - it was perfect.  
  
Once Kurt's brain started getting cloudy and his lungs ached for breath he finally pulled back to look Blaine in the face. His was crying, eyes sparkling and beautiful, lips plump and cheeks red.  
  
"I love you." Blaine said and Kurt smiled so hard his cheeks hurt.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
"And what we have is  _completely_  worth fighting for. I'm sorry I didn't see that before."  
  
"You never had to earn my love, Blaine, you never had to do something to be…  _worthy_  of me."  
  
Blaine bumped his forehead against Kurt's. "God Kurt, I was so afraid I was going to get my life in the place it needed to be, but that you wouldn't want me back."  
  
"I'm always going to want you." Kurt breathed before tugging him in again and letting their lips meet. Slower this time, less desperate tasting Blaine and savoring him, his hands moving to cup his shoulder and neck as Blaine spread his hands across Kurt's back.  
  
"So you aren't an escort anymore?" Kurt asked softly when their lips parted.  
  
"No I'm not. My heart was already yours, Kurt, but now you don't have to share any part of me."   
  
Kurt smiled even as he felt more tears on his cheeks. This all seemed too good to be true, but it was actually happening. He nodded. "Let me grab my things from the coffee shop and then maybe we could go somewhere a little quieter to catch up. My place?"  
  
Blaine nodded and moved his hand from around Kurt's back to tangle their fingers together, as if not touching Kurt in this moment was simply not possible for him. Kurt didn't mind, he felt the same way.   
  
"Don't you ever disappear on me again."  
  
"Not a chance, you are stuck with me now."  
  
Kurt smiled as they walked into the coffee shop together and he couldn't help but smile brighter when the thought hit him, that he was getting what he always wanted after all. His 'first time' had ended up being with the love of his life, he just hadn't know it at the time. He lifted Blaine's knuckles to his lips and placed a soft kiss there, and now it seemed like neither of them were going to have to be lonely anymore.


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank you all for reading this story and waiting so long for the epilogue. It means a lot to me. Please feel free to leave a comment because hearing from you is always so nice!  
> Thanks again to KathoraKiryu for being my lovely beta - I remember when I used to post stories without a beta and the memory makes my skin go cold. :) KathoraKiryu is a darling and I am very grateful to her!
> 
> Love you all and I hope you enjoy this last little piece of this story. xo

Kurt groaned and curled his fingers around the sheets of his bed, clinging to them tightly with one hand while his other hand ran through his sweaty hair. "Oh god.  _Oh god_!" He was panting and fidgeting, he tried to buck his hips up but Blaine's arm laid across them gently holding him down.  


Blaine's tongue swiped across the tip of his erection and Kurt let out a shout. "Blaine! Please,  _please_." Blaine had been teasing him and drawing things out. He'd started by slowing stripping Kurt of his clothes before laying him out on the bed and kissing and nipping at his skin from his lips and then downwards, making Kurt tremble. Kurt was going to have more than a few hickeys and not just on his neck, there was a spot on his inner thigh that drove him crazy and Blaine liked to lavish attention there.  
  
He was a frazzled mess of need, his body quivering under Blaine's persistent and loving touch. He'd been on the verge of a climax for a while, Blaine knowing exactly how to touch him to bring him to the edge, but not tip him over. Blaine took Kurt in his mouth and slowly licked and sucked and Kurt thought he was going to go mad.  


He let go of the sheets to cup the back of Blaine's head. "Come  _here_." Kurt pleaded and Blaine looked up, slipping his lips from around him and wiping his mouth with the back of his arm. His eyes were sparkling and he wore a smirk that told Kurt he knew  _exactly_  what he was doing to him.  
  
"Pl-please come up here." Kurt repeated and Blaine complied, crawling up Kurt's body until he was hovering over him face to face. Blaine held himself up with one arm as he slipped a hand between Kurt's legs making him moan again.  
  
"Doesn't it feel good, baby?" Blaine asked, his voice deep and husky.  
  
" _God, Blaine_." Kurt whined and then grabbed his shoulders pulling him down for a kiss. Blaine must have been surprised by the move because he lost the precarious balance he had on one arm and toppled down on top of Kurt with an  _oof_. It knocked the wind out of Kurt and instead of kissing Blaine like his plan had been, he had to take a moment to pull air back into his lungs.  
  
"Oh! Kurt!" Blaine rolled off of him. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Did I jab you with my elbow?"  
  
Kurt sucked in a breath and took one look at Blaine's surprised face before he just started laughing. He couldn't help it.  
  
"Kurt?" Blaine started to smile. "I guess you're okay then."  
  
Kurt's rolled to his side to face Blaine, still grinning widely. "I love you."  
  
Blaine's eyes lit and his smile grew to overtake his face, he leaned forward and kissed Kurt's lips. "I love you." He kissed him again. "More than I can tell you." Another kiss, this one sloppy to the side of Kurt's mouth. "I love you more and more every day."  


Kurt chuckled and wrapped his arms around him. This was something he'd learned about Blaine early on in their relationship. It was important for Blaine to tell Kurt how much he loved him and to hear it in return. He needed to express in words how much Kurt meant to him. Kurt, who was use to just showing someone he loved them, but maybe not saying it that often had to remember that they were words Blaine  _needed_  to hear. Maybe because Blaine had gone so long sleeping with people and being physical with them without love being there, he needed to know what they had was more than just actions.  


"Then stop  _teasing_  me." Kurt said with a kiss.

  
Blaine smirked again. "Alright then." He reached down Kurt's body and behind him to where he'd already languidly worked him open. He inserted a couple fingers and Kurt's eyes slammed shut as he tilted his head back and  _moaned_.  
  
Blaine moved him up the bed so he was leaning against the headboard and then lifted Kurt's legs so that he could settle between them, Kurt opened his eyes and quickly wrapped his legs around Blaine's hips holding tight as Blaine lubed himself up and then eased into him, one hand in Kurt's hair and the other palm pressed against the wall.  
  
"How's that?" Blaine asked hoarsely and Kurt wasn't the only one panting for breath now. Blaine's cheeks were rosy and his eyes blown dark.  
  
Kurt reached to grab Blaine's ass with one hand, pulling him in, while the other clung onto the headboard. "Yes... Yeah. Like that."  
  
Blaine started to move. Slowly at first and then faster and deeper until the bed was creaking and Kurt was letting out a string of nonsense. He hit inside Kurt at just the right angle making Kurt's stomach flip over and his skin tingle. His instinct was to squeeze his eyes shut tight again, but he kept them open watching the face of the man he loved as he rocked into him. He was beautiful. Sweaty curls around his temples and red lips plump and parted, his eyes never leaving Kurt's face.  
  
Blaine kept panting and moaning between professions of love as he continued to move inside of him. Finally, he threw his head back and took Kurt's erection in his hand, pumping a few times, his thumb sliding over the tip, making Kurt see stars. They both came one right after the other. Each other's names mixed with indistinguishable sounds on their lips.  
  
Kurt gasped under Blaine, completely undone. How was it always like this? Every time with Blaine was irreplaceable and special. From the times they threw each other down and went at it fast and hard to those slow and sweet moments where they savored every touch, and everything in between. Every single time Kurt got this tight happy feeling in his chest that he could only describe as overwhelming love. He loved Blaine so much that every time with him was perfect. He knew it sounded cheesy, but he didn't care. Blaine was the only man he'd ever been with and he didn't care. Because he'd lucked out in finding Blaine, or maybe it was more than luck, Blaine liked to call it fate. Whatever it was, he knew Blaine was it for him. His first true love and the man he'd love for the rest of his life.  
  
They stayed motionless in place for a moment coming down from their highs, hot breath mingling together with Kurt's back up against the headboard and Blaine gripping his hip up with one hand.  
  
"God I love you." Kurt whispered and Blaine's face that was flushed and intent softened into a sweet smile before he kissed Kurt deeply and toppled down to the mattress taking Kurt with him. Their sweat slick bodies were pressed together and in this moment Kurt didn't even mind the mess.  


Kurt buried his face in Blaine's neck kissing him lazily and breathing in the scent of him as Blaine's fingers trailed softly up and down his back. Kurt was so blissed out that he felt like they were both melting into the mattress. This evening had been beautiful. Blaine's roommate was out of town and they'd had a nice dinner and gone to see a play and then headed back to Blaine's place where he'd made dessert for them both.  
  
They didn't really get a chance to eat the cheesecake Blaine had made though when their kiss at the front door turned into something a little more heated. They'd lost their shirts before they even reached Blaine's bedroom and soon Blaine was laying Kurt down on the bed and worshiping every inch of him.  
  
Meaning that Kurt had gotten seriously distracted and hadn't had the chance to ask Blaine the question he'd been working up to all evening.  
  
"This was nice." Kurt murmured into Blaine's skin and he felt rather than saw him chuckle against him.  
  
"Nice? I feel like my mind is still spinning."  
  
Kurt lifted his head to look at him. "Oh, the sex was  _incredible_. I mean being here and having your apartment to ourselves. It's nice."  
  
"Mmm." Blaine hummed in agreement. "Having you alone is one of my favorite things, why do you think I spend so much time at your place?" Blaine asked with a yawn. "I mean Dani's great, but yes, I love that she is out of town with her girlfriend right now."  
  
Kurt nodded, his stomach fluttering with nervous butterflies. The question he wanted to ask Blaine on the tip of his tongue.  
  
"Shower?" Blaine suggested before Kurt had a chance to say anything. "I feel like I could fall asleep, but this wouldn't be a pleasant mess to wake up to."  
  
Kurt smiled at him and then lifted himself up off of Blaine's chest and out of bed. He turned on his way to the in-suite bathroom to find that Blaine hadn't gotten out of bed but instead was just sitting up and watching him.  
  
"What are you doing, I thought you wanted to shower?"  
  
Blaine smiled at him and his eyes lit up as they roamed up and down Kurt's naked body. "I do I just… you're such a gorgeous sight Kurt."  
  
Kurt could feel his cheeks heat up and he took a step back towards the bed, Blaine was one to talk, sitting there with his golden chest bared and his eyes bright and happy. Kurt reached for both of his hands tugging him up from the bed. "Come on. I'll wash your hair."  
  
Blaine jumped up at that offer and soon they were standing under a stream of warm water and sharing lazy kisses, as shampoo suds swirled down the drain. Kurt's arms were around Blaine's shoulders and Blaine's hands were anchored on Kurt's hips. The sweat and mess from earlier washed off them leaving Kurt feeling refreshed, but with his longing for Blaine not quite quenched yet.

He moved so that Blaine was pressed up against his thigh and the bucked forward a little, while tugging on Blaine's bottom lip with his teeth. He felt a shudder run through Blaine's body and smiled.  
  
" _Kurt_." Blaine gasped into the kiss and Kurt bucked against him again feeling him get hard. Kurt slotted them just right so that every time he moved against Blaine and Blaine moved back it sent shockwaves up their bodies. It wasn't long before Kurt had Blaine pressed heavily against the shower's tiled wall – Blaine gripping Kurt's ass as they frothed against each other. The water streamed down Kurt's back and splashed off their shoulders to leaving droplets on Blaine's eyelashes, he was  _so_  stunning and Kurt loved watching him when he was lost in passion like this, completely open and trusting.  
  
Blaine came first, his fingertips digging into Kurt in a way that made Kurt feel whole. He shouted Kurt's name and then swore. Kurt always knew he'd done well when he got Blaine to swear. Kurt came shortly after him the water washing them clean.  
  
"Oh fuck, oh fuck." Blaine repeated into Kurt's shoulder where his head was resting. "That was unexpected." Blaine glanced up, his eyes golden and round, his lips parted and beautiful.  
  
"Move in with me." Kurt said suddenly, and then took in a sharp breath, surprised by his own directness. He been thinking about this for a couple of months now and had planned on asking Blaine tonight, but not like this. He'd meant to work up to it, ease Blaine into it, ask him what he thought first...  
  
"What- what did you just say?"  
  
It was out there now though, the words hanging between them - no taking it back, and Kurt didn't really want to take it back anyway.  
  
"Move in with me. My place could be  _our_  place. No roommates, no going back and forth to get our things, no nights apart. We should…. We should move in together."  
  
The water was getting a little cooler, they'd been in the shower together so long, and Kurt watched Blaine as he shivered, his eyes wide and staring intently at Kurt. "Move in together?"  
  
Kurt's nervousness was growing, he hadn't been completely sure that Blaine was going to say yes, but this lack of response was almost worse than a no. He had no idea what Blaine was thinking.  
  
"It could be great, don't you think? Actually I  _know_  it would be great. We've been together for over a year now – and maybe us dating wasn't official that whole time, but still… I think the time is right. You just got a promotion at work and school is going well and NYU is closer to my place anyway… and I… I just… I want to wake up and have you there. And come home and have you there and it… could be ours, our place."  
  
"Kurt…"  
  
Kurt bit his lip as he watched Blaine, he seemed conflicted, but at least he hadn't said no… yet.  
  
"Here." Blaine smiled and reached passed him to turn off the water and stepped out of the shower tossing Kurt a soft fluffy towel before wrapping one around his own waist.  
  
Kurt hesitated a moment before following suit.  
  
"We should talk. But not standing naked in the shower." Blaine said.  
  
"I like standing naked in the shower with you." Kurt said teasingly in an attempt to ease his own nerves.  
  
"Don't look so worried." Blaine said pulling him in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I have something to show you."  
  
Kurt followed Blaine back to the bedroom where he grabbed his laptop and then settled down on the bed patting the space next to him. Blaine looked relaxed and happy, so whatever he was about to say couldn't be bad. Still this wasn't the reaction Kurt had been expecting, he joined him on the bed, sitting close, both of them wrapped in their towels and shoulders bumping.  
  
Blaine pulled up a website he had bookmarked and then started a slideshow of pictures of an empty apartment. Nice wood floors and new appliances and a big beautiful window in the living room.  
  
"What is this?" Kurt asked looking up from the screen to Blaine's face to find him watching Kurt intently.  
  
"I do want to live with you, Kurt. You aren't the only one who has been thinking about it."  
  
Kurt let out a breath of relief before laughing, "Why didn't you just say that? You were making me nervous."  
  
"Sorry! Sorry." Blaine said quickly with another smile and ducking in to kiss Kurt's cheek. "I love you, Kurt and I want to spend every day with you. I love the idea of some place being  _our_  place. And... and like you said, waking up to you every day, knowing when I got home from work you'd be there… I want that so much."  
  
"But?" Kurt prompted worry stirring in his stomach again.  
  
Blaine let out a breath, and okay apparently he was nervous too, "You know I've been working really hard to stand on my own two feet since quitting the escort business. I'm trying to make something of myself."  
  
"And you've done an amazing job at that."  
  
"Thank you. It's just that… if I moved into your apartment I think I'd always feel like it was me living in your place… Like I was just… an add-on."  
  
" _No_. You'd never-" Kurt stopped mid-sentence and watched Blaine's face for a moment noticing the worried lines around his eyes and the deep crease between his eyebrows. Oh.  _Oh_. Kurt glanced back down to the pictures of the apartment Blaine had pulled up. "You want us to get a whole new place together?" Kurt said in realization.  
  
"I was going to show you these pictures tonight anyway – over dessert – but we never got to dessert." Blaine's lips quirked up in a smile. "And then you beat me to the punch."  
  
"Wait. You were going to suggest we move in together tonight?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Kurt couldn't help the huge grin that spread across his face. "Oh god, Blaine." He dove forward wrapping Blaine up in his arms and knocking him over, the computer sliding from his lap. He started peppering Blaine's face with kisses. "I love you."  
  
Blaine laughed from under him kissing him back.  
  
"Where is this apartment you found?"  
  
"Close to where you live now but a block or two nearer your office actually. And we don't necessarily have to move there… but someone at work told me about it and it isn't even listed yet so we could go look at it tomorrow if you wanted. But like I said it doesn't have to be there. And I know… I know you love your apartment-"  
  
"I don't care about my apartment Blaine." Kurt interrupted softly. "I just want to be with you." Kurt leaned over him, joy bubbling inside him as Blaine's eyes sparkled. "I want  _us_. We could both move. Fresh start.  _Our_  place." Kurt kissed Blaine's lips lingering for a moment. "I just want someplace to be our place, our home." He whispered against Blaine's skin and Blaine lifted his hands to tangle in Kurt hair.  
  
"I want that too, I want it  _so_  much."  
  
Kurt eased down to laid next to him. "We'll go look at that apartment you found tomorrow. It looked beautiful in the pictures. I could really do something with that. Though honestly I could live in a box on the side of the street if it meant being with you."  
  
"A box, Kurt? Really?" Blaine chuckled.  
  
"Well… a nice box, something I could still decorate."  
  
Blaine laughed out loud at that. They stayed in bed for a little while longer swapping kisses before getting up to put on some PJs. "What about that cheesecake now?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Is it too late at night for that?"  
  
"It is  _never_  too late for cheesecake Blaine." Kurt deadpanned.  
  
Blaine bit his lip and nodded. "So we are really doing this? We're going to live together?"  
  
"Yes." Kurt said confidently. "Yes we are."  
  
Blaine grinned his eyes dancing and as he leap happily off of the bed and led Kurt into the kitchen where he had a turtle cheesecake waiting in the refrigerator for them.  
  
They ended up sitting on stools at the kitchen counter their feet swinging as they ate the cheesecake straight from the pan, traded sweet kisses and planned their future. As he took a bite of cake off of Blaine's fork, Kurt couldn't remember ever being this happy, planning his life with the man he loved by his side and nothing holding them back.


End file.
